


The Zamora

by Azalea_and_Hydrangea



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Star Wars AU, Star Wars OC story, hope you like it, it's a bit different
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-27
Updated: 2020-02-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 01:47:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 61,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21979285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Azalea_and_Hydrangea/pseuds/Azalea_and_Hydrangea
Summary: "You're a Jedi."She sighed; she hadn’t been projecting that loudly and she knew it. Yes, she had wanted them to know she was like them, she just didn’t want absolutely everyone to know. But here she was! With the heads of every man and woman in that mess hall of the base, staring at mainly her!Kriffin’ great. Luke was grinning at her. He never grins anymore. Kriff you Luke Skywalker.Deep breaths.It was just a question, or was it a statement? Was he doubting her? She would have to fix him if he was doubting- No. Just, inner Yoda.Unfortunately, she has heard those three little words a great many times over the years. But, when Ben Solo spoke those very same words, there wasn't as much of a defensive reaction from her this go around. She was almost four hundred years old after all, and she'd like to think that she’s grown used to it. Yet, her free hand still tightened into a fist.Still, she rounded on the former apprentice of Snokes, tea clasped in one hand and a smile on her face.“Was,” She paused and stared at the dark-haired man. “Was is a very powerful term, Ben Solo.” She winked. “As you should know very well.” She cocked an eyebrow as she took a sip from her tea.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Leia Organa/Han Solo, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 48
Kudos: 51





	1. 292 BBY - 252 BBY

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Welcome and thank you for reading. 
> 
> I really just need to get this off of my chest and out into the world somehow. So, here we go. This is a story of my own OC's mixed in with the cannon characters. This will be an alternate universe where things are changed a little bit since these characters simply exist in this timeline. 
> 
> But like for real for real, this will NOT be perfect. I will edit chapters every now and then. I'm also not a Star Wars guru and so things might be a bit warped, forgive me. 
> 
> So again, thank you for reading, and enjoy!
> 
> Notes for years:  
> A year on Kinai = twenty standard Earth years.
> 
> (The following chapters are unedited.)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am planning on editing these chapters and finishing this story off very soon. 
> 
> I know it's been awhile, but if you're new here, welcome and just know that things might change a little while you're reading it. 
> 
> Thanks guys!
> 
> P.S. Maybe check out my other story sometime? <3

**292 BBY**

There was no Force on the planet called _Kinai._ There were no Jedi, no Sith. The lush planet on the southern bounds of the universe could boast no side of the war. There was no light, there was no dark; there was just the perpetual grey area that the planet floated in. _Kinai_ was not associated with the Senate any more then they had to be; after all, they were a neutral, peace faring planet. They wanted nothing to do with the balance of light and dark, nothing to do with the wars, nothing to do with the one they had called Zamora.

Zamora was not her family name, nor her first name, or even her chosen name. It was an insult on the planet of _Kinai_. A name meaning “estrangement”. After all, she looked nothing like the others in her village, her planet even.

And if there was a word she would use to describe the other peoples in her village of _Lemui_ , it would be _pastel_. The one they called Zamora was very much _not_ a pastel. Not pastel in any literal, and or metaphorical sense of the word. Her coloring was all off they had said.

They picked at her curls.

“This coiled hair just _happens_ to be the exact shade of _blood_ , and those unsettlingly _green_ eyes...” They had trailed off. A shiver, a held-up hand and the turn of their face had been enough expression to tell her they were revolted.

“Even the freckles on her skin are a disgusting muddy color. It looks like there’s rust growing on her face.” There was another.

“No wonder they left her in the woods,” There was a pause with adults staring at one another, she could see the bottoms of their chins. “Abandoned her, I mean.” Agreement was expressed and suddenly there was the pressure of a hand on the back of her head.

“As unpleasant as she is to look at, we cannot simply let her fend for her own.” A bit abrasive, but maybe someone was defending her? “Ideas on what to do with her? Anyone?”

Never mind.

There was silence again; and for the first time her life, she suddenly felt ashamed, like there was something very wrong with the way she appeared to everyone else.

“How old is she exactly?” Another voice she had never heard before chimed in. The hand on the back of her head disappeared only to come back with violence.

“Someone asked you a question.” Abrasive once more. She stepped on the pebbled that had begun to rattle along with her unsealing emotions.

“I was unaware I was being spoken to, since it’s easier for you to speak _of_ me.” There was that violent hand again, on the back of her head, but this time it dug in and clawed at her hair. They pulled her back, that adult, before another hand collided with the side of her face. Her eyes squeezed shut, and there was a pain. Pain like her eye was going to explode inside its socket and the skin on her cheek had split open. A ring, this adult had been wearing a ring.

“ _Watch_ , your mouth.” The voice who had chided about her hair and eyes. The stone under her heel tried to lift.

“Now, how old are you?” That unfamiliar voice asked again.

“Young.” Another tug at her hair, the scrunch of her face and a comment on her speech. More pebbles shifted. “Four.” Well, almost anywhere else in the universe, she would have roughly been eighty years old that day. There was another murmur, then a silent consensus.

“Plenty old enough-” They had started contently when someone finally came to her rescue.

“The child can stay with me.” An old voice. A voice easily over the old age sixty. She had been young then, unsure of her new worldly view. Young and stupid and rash. Young and tied to things she did not understand.

* * *

**252 BBY**

She, had been shut out again; like he’d done before. Yet, she could still feel the small of him beating against the wall he’d created between them. She didn’t really know what was going on with him, then again, she never really did, did she? There was always an air about him that was never gentle anymore. He was ten to her six, and more often than not, he came to her in the smallest hours of the night, tired and tear streaked. He would ask her for her help, and she would comply. Many nights they laid back to back, his heat quiet and reassuring to her. She wasn’t alone, yet in the morning light, he was gone, not a trace of him on the sheets of her bed. She had no idea who he really was, didn’t remember the first time he appeared to her in the dark of the night. She just knew he was always there, a hand she could hold and name she could call. She was afraid he wasn’t really real. A boy only she could see, a boy only she could feel. A boy she felt in the back of her mind.

Seros didn’t come to her that first night he shut her out. He’d always appeared out of nowhere, standing in the corner of her room or shaking her awake with trembling fingers. But now it was the highest point for both of _Kinais_ moons, and he wasn’t there yet. There was something wrong, she could feel it in the air and curling in her stomach. Seros was never this late.

She sat up, closed her eyes and focused on the small point of pressure in her mind that she knew to be Seros. Grabbing the strand that lead her to him, she followed its length, and soon enough she came to a point she couldn’t cross. She pushed, palms putting pressure on the invisible barrier that never broke. She tried her shoulder next, hoping her weight would be enough and she’d received a sharp shock when the wall began to give. Her eyes snapped open with a gasp. There was definitely pain in her shoulder as she rolled it. He had shut her out with a vengeance. If he was going to be brutal, then so would she. Her feet hit the creaky wood that her bed stood on and she closed her eyes again.

Breathe.

In.

Out.

_In._

The wall he had built was like a thick glass; she could see through it, observe the points of light behind it that moved on their own accord, but she couldn’t break it. It would bend in, but never shatter. No matter how she beat on it with her fist, she found that she was getting nowhere.

Agitation itched under her skin at the thought that she was not winning this fight. She needed to calm down; as her frustration had never gotten her anywhere nice. At one time the village had simply been disgusted by her appearance, but now, they trembled under the threat of her unusual abilities. Frustration had her doing amazing things: Objects had moved when she told them to; she’d convinced someone to give her money; read another’s thoughts and knew exactly how they felt, how to exploit it. Her frustrations could help her do anything; she just didn’t like the way it felt. The revulsion at her own actions was too sweet when it stuck to the inside of her mouth after. Frustrations would get her nowhere. She needed to be calm, after all, that’s what Seros appreciated about her most.

He had told her, while braiding her hair one night, that all the people on his planet were always angry, always frustrated and disgusted. He said they never appreciated anything, never said thank you, and never smiled kindly. His favorite aspect about her, he’d whispered to her in the dim light of the _Kinainan_ moons, was how much she grinned. How gentle she was when she’d wiped his tears and kissed his eyes; and how calm she always was when he appeared to her. Seros had told her all of this while his thin fingers ran through and weaved the hair that everyone had called a bad omen.

 _“I don’t think it looks like blood.”_ He’d say as he brushed the coils out, only to watch them spring right back up. _“I think its more the color of garnet.”_

 _“What is garnet?”_ She had asked. Seros seemed to have found that amusing.

 _“It’s this really pretty gem stone. A gem that looks just like your hair.”_ She’d felt her face heat at that time.

She needed to calm down. Breathe in and out; count to ten and try again. She looked around her.

This was the longest time that she had floated amongst the in between and the more she looked, the more beautiful it became to her. She realized it was not just black here; there were colors, dark and brooding in this in between. So many colors and so many _lights_. Some of these little pin pricks were brighter than others, and some seemed closer to her than she thought possible. She was getting distracted with her hands pressed to the glass that told her to go no further. She found herself calming down when she focused on a light that seemed green in its hue. There were others that were this color, but this one was flickering in a strange pattern.

She watched it for a while, savoring its soft colors, before the move of her hand brought it closer. Unsure if this was simply a feeling or something else, she let it go and turned back to the wall that bent. She could feel Seros on the other side. Feel him needing her and feel her needing to be with him. Her one friend in this whole universe; well, besides Jiji after all. She glanced at the green light for a moment, it filling her with quiet wonderment. When she closed her eyes, she pulled her fingers away from the glass and grabbed ahold of the string she had been following. She placed her feet against the wall, relaxed and then tugged it like she had never pulled on anything before. There was a moment when nothing happened. Gritting her teeth, she pushed more of her energy through the line, some of it escaping around her in a wave that rattled the few lights close by. She was beginning to gain headway on him.

He was still struggling harshly on the other end. Struggling to push back, to move no more; but her resolve was strong and harsh for someone of only six. And so, she pulled him to the wall, shattering it from his side, and pulled him onto the floor of her meager bedroom. There was a clatter, and a groan from him when she sat up. His body was curled up in the darkness and she could see him shivering from her position against the door. She could feel his panic, his sadness, and his anger wrapped up into one little ball of pitifulness.

She went to him then, her hands falling to his shoulder with soft whispers. Seros was cringing under her every touch, and when she had enough of him pulling away from her, she grabbed his face. She turned his chin up, forcing him to look in the eye. She was going to speak. She was going to berate him for locking her out. She _was,_ until she saw the thick gash across his forehead. _Was,_ until she saw the bruises around his eyes and the bust in his lip.

Terror was the emotion that screeched through her at a speed faster than light. Her fingers flew over his gently grey skin, over the glowing white freckles on his face and over the ears that were infinitely sharper in their shape than hers. She had shuddered over his trembling form then, her hands jumping as she combed the white hair of his head away from the dark blood of his forehead.

She was at a loss.

_What happened?_

_Was this why he shut her out so harshly?_

_Why would he shut her out after_ this?

She felt her anger well inside her as she tried to seal his bleeding skin, her fingers only smearing the blood along his skin more. She cried out in frustration as she kept trying, her hands becoming covered in warm darkness. She’d done this before. She’d healed one of the wild equestrians that she had stumbled across. It had been injured, laying in the field close to the lake. She’d done this before, but in a moment of pure calm. She’d done this before, but with an empty mind and heart. But she’d _done it before_. She had to do it again. She could.

A deep breath and a command to her racing heart had her relaxing, and when she swiped her small thumb across his forehead again, the wound sealed. Gratification swooped through her after the rush of pain on her face. She ignored it and wiped her hands of his blood on her shirt. Her fingers traveled over his face, healing every abrasion and off colored bruise that adorned his skin.

She was talking then, asking him where it hurt, to tell her and so that she could take it away.

“Seros, Seros you have to tell me.” She’d whispered as he shook his head. “Don’t be stupid.” She remarked as she took his hand in hers. Guiding it up, she gently drew his fingers over his own forehead, showing him the gash had dissipated and the skin was healed.

“Look, see?” She pulled his hand to her chest. “It’s gone Seros, let me help you. Please.” In that moment his eyes slid open, and he looked at her with the heavy gold of his gaze. They looked at each other for a long moment before she whispered to him once more.

“Ribs.” Was his raspy reply, and she moved quickly. Her hands rested over every spot he told her caused him pain, and they both watched as the off-colored and busted skin repaired itself. At the end of it all, she fell back with his head in her lap. She was exhausted and sore from the momentary transfer of pain.

She felt beaten while he breathed easily, head rested on her thighs. Her fingers brushed his hair and he tilted his head up to look at her.

“Why’d you do that?” His question was hushed in the night and she admired his freckles that glowed.

“I care about you.” Was all she replied with. After all, she had told him what she could do. It was no surprise to him that she could do it, only that she had done it.

“You barely know me.” He countered, his face falling forward to gaze out of her window.

“I know you enough.”

There was silence as she braided a small bit of his hair.

“Where are we?” He asked in a quieter tone.

“This is my room.” Seros tilted his head back again, gold narrowing at her.

“You know that not what I meant.” She laughed at him softly.

“This is my home planet, _Kinai_.” Her fingers splayed out in his hair now as he froze up under her touch. He was silent for a long time and he opened his mouth before closing it back many times, unable to pick the right words. “You’re from _Sedka_ , I know already.” Her voice was hushed again.

“How?”

“Jiji tells stories about the planet of _Sedka_ , before it became what it is now.” She paused, “He says that he visited the surface when he was a child, when it was still considered our sister planet.” Seros quieted, his head tilting back down, yet she continued to play with his pale hair.

“You don’t hate me?” His tone was laced with self-hatred and anger as he stared out of the window. She had simply scoffed at that. Hate him? What kind of dumb, backwards thinking was that? If she had hated him, then she wouldn’t have done anything for him. She would never have had anything to do with him. After all, she knew exactly what he was the first time she’d seen him. She may have been brutal and off putting in her colorings, but those born on _Sedka_ were _dark_. She’d seen the holovids of them. Them with strange skin and eyes that had her feeling normal in her own skin. Their brutality was legendary, and with their allegiance to the Sith lords, they were well avoided by all. Though she saw them for what they were, she found no room in her heart to hate them. And she certainly did not hate the boy in her lap, but she hated who had done this to him.

Her fingers trailed over his face once more and he glanced back up at her.

“How old are you?” Seros asked with a new quietness in his voice, but she had giggled at him.

“Six.” Was what she replied with and he sat up sharply before he turned to look at her, her hands still outstretched.

“ _What?_ ” He sputtered out. That single word sounded so exasperated and this time she really laughed at him. “You’re _six_? How is that possible?” She snickered more, her hands dropping in her lap at the almost sheer horror of his face. When she finally calmed down, she as wiping tears from her cheeks with one hand and holding her already sore side with the other.

“On _Kinai_ I am six years old,” She laughed more. “But on _Sedka_ , I would be one hundred and twenty!” Seros fell over now, realization on his face. She rolled over to lay over his stomach, the back of her head resting on the floor, arms splayed out above.

“A year on _Kinai_ , is twenty years on _Sedka_.” He sounded awed at his quick math.


	2. 252 BBY

Seros had fallen asleep first that night, his breathing deep and untroubled. She didn’t blame him; after all, he’d been through a lot only mere hours before that very moment. Thankfully though, she had gotten him to move from the hardwood floor, and up to the gentleness of her bed. She was leaned up against the wall of her room, his head in her lap once more. This time, she chanced a glance out of the window, trying to access her time left with him. The moons had started their journey down, one chasing the other.

_An hour and a half of dark left._

There was something else she needed to do before she let sleep claim her. Something she repaired on the regular, on nights he had simply come to her trembling and tear streaked.

Whenever he appeared to her in the middle of the night, his mind was always muddied and brutalized. It was like someone had taken his identity, put him in a jar and shook him around for a while. This resulted in a darkness that welled around his mind, and showed his eyes. His terrible scourge floated around the floor in a motion she knew well. Her frustrations settled in a similar way. They settled into a swirling fog around her feet that lived along the walls of her room.

She gently ran her fingers over his face as she whispered of his attributes; the ones she admired most. She spoke of his heavy eyes, of his lovely freckles, of the way he always managed to braid her hair in such beautiful ways. Her thumbs slid over his closed eyes, and she leaned down to place a kiss his forehead quietly. She whispered of his kind words and his golden soul. She speaks of how she has barely met him, but feels like she’s known him forever. She whispers about how much she really appreciates him. She’d leaned down to kiss his eyes next.

Soon, she watched as the darkness around him fled; how it hissed at her and was replaced with the light it had muted. She had smiled as her exhaustion set in deep. Falling back against the wall, she brushed his hair out of his face again as her own eyes began fluttering closed. She wondered what would they do with him. As he went back to _Sedka_ healed, and that he always left her with a brighter glow about him than when he came. Would he be okay?

Sleep fell upon her with a vengeance.

* * *

Jiji was not kind in his wake-up calls. Her door was always thrown open, he was soon tapping on her forehead and there was this horrible singing that interrupted the slight amount of sleep she had managed to catch.

“It’s time to get up young one.” The older man pulled at the soft points of her ears, and then at her blankets. “There’s a whole world for you to go and explore this morning.” She groaned and swatted at the elders prying hands. He would then laugh at her. He would laugh at her in the warm way only Jiji could.

“Fine,” He paced towards the hallway with a knowing tone of voice, “But I made Buzu cakes for breakfast.” She cracked an eye open, looking for the old _Kinainan_ , but he was already gone.

Buzu cakes? Jiji had made Buzu? But Buzu cakes took _days_ to make. When did he have time to make that? More importantly, what was he doing making Buzu cakes for? Her sixth _Kinainan_ year wasn’t up yet, there was no lunar new year, no eclipse. He was a very suspicious old man.

But she was up quickly anyways. She was dressed, hair pulled back, and fully hesitating in the doorway in just a few moments. The thought of Seros confronted her like a ghost, and suddenly she was glancing back at her bed. He was indeed gone, like she knew he would be. Even if he had been there, Jiji wouldn’t have seen him anyway. Only she saw the boy with grey skin and white hair from _Sedka_ on _Kinai_. She hoped he was safe, hoped he would come back in one piece, hoped he trusted her.

* * *

The days on _Kinai_ were always long, and outstretched, and _warm_. There were many times that she had laid out in the middle of a field, dozing in the warmth of their star’s light. She wasn’t sure if her body was trying to catch up on sleep from long nights awake, or if the heat just genuinely put her into a napping mood. Still, too many times had she woken up at dusk to the sound of Jiji’s voice calling her back to the house that laid outside the village limits; but today was a bit different. Seros had visited her again last night and the night before that, but something had still felt different.

There was a coolness to the air, and she knew that their time of bright days was receding into times of long nights. Not that she really minded. Long nights meant longer conversations and longer moments of that precious sleep with her back to his. Yet still, that was not the difference she had observed. It felt like she had eyes all over her, like she had been noticed and seen. Like she was being constantly watched. No matter where she moved, no matter the tree she hid under or the water she jumped in, she felt exposed.

More days passed with this unnerving feeling, and Seros came to her with a bruised face. She told him her worries then, when she was taking his pain away. He’d whispered gentle encouragements, taken her hands in his own, and told her not to fret. He told her that people like them always felt like this.

She didn’t know what he was talking about. People like them? What was that supposed to mean, but before she could ask, he kissed her palms and disappeared. He did that a lot in the long nights that followed. They would talk, she would ask questions, and then he would kiss her fingertips and be gone in the blink of her eye. It was getting frustrating, and the swirls of mist she dispersed from his mind, only grew in hers.

She needed to create to destroy.

That morning she sat in the clearing, a wool cover over her usually bare shoulders, as her fingers worked on their gentle weaving. The thickly knitted threads Jiji had given her, acted as a guard against her muddy freckles and the rapidly cooling air that danced about the field. Even though everything was falling back into the lull of the biyearly sleep, little white flowers bloomed in their adversity. She had picked them gingerly, whispering little thank yous to the wide leafed plants that remained green in the browning grass.

Her fingers had twisted and wrapped the stems together till she’d fashioned a crown out of the thick petaled flowers. She turned it in her palms, adjusting and fixing stems before placing it over her loosely, Seros braided hair. She’d picked enough flowers for another crown, and she soon got to work on the second for Jiji. Halfway through her ministrations, she felt her toes begin to go numb against the cold of the grass, and she drew her body back in a lazy motion. She waited for a moment, waited as the heat from her legs soaked back into her small feet.

The air pulled at her covering and she paused to look up at the grey sky, and for a moment she felt the entire forest around her. She felt the trees breathing deeply, and the grass yawing. She felt the ground shutter with the oncoming notion of frost and she felt the wind sigh chillingly against her cheeks. She could feel Jiji sweeping the porch a mile away, and she could feel the buzz of the village two miles away. She began to reach out further, her eyes fluttering when something told her she ought not to. Something whispered to her, reminding her of her current task as she pulled herself back to that field her body sat in.

A deep breath or two and she was back to making a crown for Jiji, then a third.

It whispered to her again, advising the weaving of a third crown. One she would give to someone she could not see yet.

She had thought that maybe, she was making it for Seros, but she somehow knew it wasn’t. With her third crown finished, she tucked the last loose flower behind her ear when a ship broke through the thick cloud barrier above her. It landed in the wide of the field, behind where she sat. There was clanking, a bit of popping and then it groaned against the cold grass it sat on. Steam came off of its hull, telling her that she ship had gotten increasingly warm when it came through the _Kinainan_ atmosphere.

 _Kriff._ She thought to herself, hearing mental Jiji berate her for her foul language. But she was up, crowns in hand as the wind blew around her once more. The ramp of the ship began to lower from the left side of the ship, and from where she stood, she could just make out the winged insignia on the hatch before it settled into the ground.

 _Kriff_. She thought again. _Holy shit._ She could hear two people talking.

“But I thought you said there were no Force sensitive peoples on this planet.” A young man’s voice?

“Said it I did.” There was a pause and then a _Hurrrm_ sound. “But Force here, I have felt.” They stepped down the ramp and into the field. The first was a tall man, young. She could tell he was new by the way he carried his shoulders; but after him followed a short figure who showed the signs of wisdom. With a breath out, she could suddenly feel them amongst the sighing trees. She could _see_ them. See their light in the in between. She didn’t recognize the young mans, but it resonated a baby blue that was somehow unique all its own. However, she did recognize the quiet green within the shorter figure. She recognized the way it glowed, the way it flickered in its strange pattern and, _holy kriff_. She had held his light in her hands, admired the way it glowed with it _in her_ _hands_. She had somehow reached out and touched the short figure that stood in the field.

People like them.

Oh, she was in big trouble. She had once tried to tell Jiji about the lights she could see when she stilled herself. She had tried, but the old man couldn’t understand. He told her it was nothing but a dream, and that she should not delve too deeply into her own mind. Sorry Jiji, but she had done just that. She had delved into her mind, met Seros, brought two strangers to her planet because she had gotten careless.

She couldn’t have been more pleased with herself.

And so, she yelled to them, free hand in the air and waving when they turned to her. She started towards them; flower crowns rested gingerly in the crook of her elbow. When they met in the fields center, she bowed deeply and welcomed them to the planet _Kinai_. The young man seemed confused as to why a child had been the first to greet them, or maybe why there was a child in the woods in this weather, but the short figure with green skin and lines in his face had smiled at her. She wondered if he knew.

She wondered if he knew that she knew. Wondered about if he knew that she had mistakenly reached out to him.

She stared up at the young man then, a grin on her face as he stared back down at her with raised eyebrows. His hair was strange, nearly auburn in its color, and it hung around his shoulders in an under minded show of defiance. His skin was pale and splattered with freckles that resembled her own. She stood there a bit awed at the near similarities between them. She reached her hands up, offering him a proper _Kinainan_ meeting. He glanced at the little green man beside him for guidance, and soon his companion chuckled and made a motion towards her.

“Greeting you, she wishes.” The green light stated. The other was still nervous; she could feel it ripple through him and into the ground. He, projected loudly.

When the ginger man finally took her hands into his, she laughed in pure joy. For this meeting, she decided to let his hands hold hers. She gave him the slightest tug down, and he instantly began to kneel before her. He was finally at her eye level, and she searched his freckles before gingerly pressing her forehead to his in a long moment of greeting. Her eyes closed, and she could hear his sharp intake of breath before he stilled completely. Time ticked by before she opened her eyes to look at him again.

She’d smiled at the wide-eyed man, and then she had noticed, that like Seros, this man’s eyes were so much more beautiful than hers. Like the light that resonated round him, his eyes were such a soft blue.

“What do they call you?” She’d asked him, their faces still a breath away.

“Kelle,” He started. “My name is Kelle Aldan.” She smiled then and gently bumped their foreheads together once more.

“Welcome to _Kinai_ , Kelle Aldan.” She then let go of one of Kelles hands and she offered it to the short figure to their right. The older man took her hands into his, and she knew, that he truly was older than her. She leaned down ever so slightly and pressed her forehead to the green of his for just a touch longer than she had with Kelle Aldan. When they pulled away, she asked him the same question.

“What do they call you?”

“Yoda, I am.” And after he spoke, she pressed her forehead to his again.

“Welcome, Master Yoda.” She replied, a scoff came from Kelle, but before he could speak, Yoda held up a hand.

“Much to learn, you have.” Master Yoda gently backed away from her.

“Well, I would be able to learn faster if someone would teach me.”

“Padawan, you are no longer, and your master I was not.” It sounded like Kelle wanted to say something more, but was at a loss.

She easily let go of Master Yoda’s other hand, her feet carrying her away with another bow. She could feel Kelle’s eyes on her as she lifted her head slowly. Kelle Aldan’s palms rested on his thighs as he continued to kneel in the grass. It was silent again, only the sound of the wind dancing passed ger by.

“What is your name?” His voice clouded around him in a puff of air. The blue of his eyes bore into her.

Her name. What was her name again? She knew what the village called her, but was that her name? Is that what she wanted to be known as? An estrangement? Seros had called her something. He’d tried Garnet, then Ruby before he’d called her Reddlen.

“Reddlen.” She said a bit quickly, unsure how it sounded coming out of her mouth. An equally unsure grin soon found her lips as she bowed again. Did she like it? Yeah, she did. “Please call me Reddlen.” Master Yoda nodded, a slow and solemn movement before he motioned to Kelle.

“Good name it is.” Kelle Aldan was fast with his agreement as Master Yoda gazed at him.

“Well Reddlen,” There was a pause and Yoda was nodding again, eyes closed. “How do you know we mean you no harm?” There was an inquisitive look in Kelle’s gaze, but the sudden slow glare he got from his green companion showed the agitation the older figure felt. It was almost as if Master Yoda was asking how the younger man could even say that. She giggled at them as she took the third flower crown from its position on her forearm to gently set it on Kelle Aldan’s head.

“Your ship has a winged insignia.” She explained while on her tiptoes. She worked on getting the carefully weaved flowers placed on his ginger head properly. Her fingers tucked some of his wild hair away, understanding the annoyance of curls in damp weather. “Jiji says the good guys fly in ships with wings drawn on the side.” Her hands brush over Kelle’s hair once more, attempting to smooth back the crest of his waves. The young man seemed a bit shocked and the one named Yoda simply smiled.

“What if we stole the ship?” Kelle shot back, cocking a ginger eyebrow at her. She giggled again against the cold of the day. She turned from the young man, hand reaching up to take the lone white flower from behind her ear. She handed it to Master Yoda as she shook her head at his question. “How can you be so sure?” He was pulling at her hand now, moving her back towards him in a vain attempt to intimidate her; but she could only see the ginger in his hair and the blue in his eyes. And she found this young man to be anything but an intimidation to her. She reached back up to tuck some windblown strands back behind Kelle’s ear.

People like them.

“I would have felt it.” Her voice was gentle as she searched his freckles again. Kelle went quiet. There was a glance to Master Yoda and the young man opened his mouth only to close it again. His gaze shifted to her feet in the grass before he finally looked back up at her.

“You sense things?” Kelle was soft spoken now.

People like them.

She nodded at him, her fingers back to adjusting the crown that was already perfectly set upon his hair. “What kind of things can you sense?” He reached up to take her wrists in his large hands, his blue eyes staring into her with much more seriousness than she had ever faced before. There was a moment when she glanced over at Master Yoda, looking for a small nod of encouragement, but even he stood ramrod still in the cold grass. She turned back to Kelle Aldan.

“Everything,” She started quietly. “I can feel everything.”

People like _her_.


	3. 252 BBY - 240 BBY

**252 BBY**

There was so much talking. They asked her all kinds of questions as they sat in that cold field, and she gladly told them all she could. She told them about the things she could do; the things she could do to other people, and the things she could heal. She relished in telling them about her planet, how she could _feel_ it, and it could feel her. She spoke of the in between and all the lights, the strings and the colors she saw there. Yet, she didn’t talk about Seros. She couldn’t bring herself to mention him and their talks at midnight. Somehow, sitting in the grass with those who understood, her connection to the _Sedkain_ had felt taboo.

They took her home after sunset. Back to her Jiji who was worrying away at the house railing. She came running at the old man and he stumbled off of the porch to pick her up like she was nothing. Her fingers placed the white flower crown on his balding head as he berated her for being so late, for ignoring his calls. And still, he hugged her close and spun her around before he saw Kelle Aldan and Master Yoda behind her. He set her down quickly, her feet hitting the browning grass with a softness. Jiji addressed the two men in an improper fashion, asking them what two Jedi were doing on a Forceless planet like _Kinai_. They asked him if he was her father; and Jiji had told them no, that he was simply looking after her until she could care for herself. Master Yoda did not seem convinced by the older man’s words.

Kelle tried to chime in, telling Jiji that they believed that she had what was called “The Force”. That she needed to be trained, to learn how to control this power within her before it destroyed her.

“Child,” Jiji never called her by a name. “Into the house.” She opened her mouth to object and he snapped his gaze down at her. Her jaw clicked shut and she turned to run into the warmth of the hearth.

The house was alive with the smell of bread when she had shut the door behind her. She wiped her feet, hung her cover by the door and grabbed a roll before taking her seat in front of the window to shamelessly spy. She watched as Jiji carefully removed the flower crown she’d painstakingly made him and hold it in his hands. She took a bite out of her bread, eyes never leaving the three men.

Kelle was talking with his hands, and Jiji was nodding solemnly. She could see the thick emotions swirl around the old _Kinainan_ as they continued to talk. She was in that glass for so long, she didn’t even know when she had dozed off in the window seal until she was lifted, carried to her room and tucked into bed.

Something shaking her shoulder was what woke her, and when she opened her eyes, it was Seros, with a heavy gaze.

“Red. Red are you awake?” She hummed in response to him before he gently tapped both of her cheeks. “Come on, wake up.” Her eyes opened at that point, nose wiggling with a small amount of discomfort. She focused on the _Sedkain_ then.

“Seros.” She had said his name sharply as she began to sit up. “What, what’s wrong?” He shushed her, slender finger to his lips. Seros gently took her hands in his and helped her to the door. He pointed and they peeked through the crack between the wood of her door and the wood of its frame. She could hear hushed conversation.

“Strong with her, the Force is.” Master Yoda.

“Surely you must have seen it within her?” Kelle Aldan.

“Of course I had, boy. I saw it the moment I took her in, and I watch it grow in her every day.” Jiji paused. “I didn’t want to see it, I wanted to ignore it.” He sighed. “But when she asked me about the in between, I knew my hunch was correct.” Jiji had let them in the house, she smelled tea. He had served them tea. She glanced over at Seros who nudged her with his shoulder, he pointed again.

“She has to come with us, learn to use her abilities properly.” Kelle Aldan again, sounding sure. There was the sound of a clay cup being placed on the table.

“No.” Jiji stated sharply. “She’s just a child. You cannot simply take her from the only home she’s ever known.”

“A child she is.” Master Yoda’s voice did not raise as Jiji’s did. “But taught she must be.”

“She’s too old to start training.” Jiji sounded angry.

“She ages slowly, as does everyone on this planet.” Kelle suddenly began to match Jiji in his frustrations. “In comparison, she will be a child still when she completes her training.” She glanced at Seros again, who seemed so much more engrossed in the stolen conversation than she was. This time, she nudged him and pulled him away from the door as Jiji ground out something about the monster the village already saw her to be, growing bigger.

“What’s happening?” She’d whispered softly to the _Sedkain._

“They’re…” He trailed off; his golden eyes suddenly haunted. “They’re gonna make you like me.” Seros grabbed her shoulders sharply.

“You _cannot_ , let them take you. Do you understand?” He searched her face for a long moment before he sighed, his hands slipping down her arms to hold her hands in his own. He placed his forehead against hers, and she pressed into him, eyes closed. They took a deep breath together before pulling away. “If they do take you, stay strong. I’ll come for you, and we’ll make things better ourselves.” He held her hands up, placing them on his cheeks.

“We’ll fight together, fight for the better.”

* * *

The next morning greeted her with tears. Jiji had woken her, made her eat and then sent her into the garden. When she came back, she was grappling a bag full of harvestable produce as she saw Kelle Aldan and Master Yoda enter her home. There was a nervousness in her that sprouted from the seed Seros had planted in her heart.

_Don’t let them take you._

Would she end up like Seros? Would she be bloodied and beaten into the ground? She didn’t know, she didn’t _think_ so though. Placing the bag of fruits and vegetables on the dewy ground, she poured herself some water from the rain barrel and began to wash things she’d picked. Her thoughts ran.

Kelle was as soft as he was tall, and when he had touched her hands, it had been gentle. He projected so loudly the emotions he felt. So, she knew he was not the kind to lay a finger on a fly, but Jiji had seemed so defensive against him especially. There was a small voice in the back of her mind that told her it was because Kelle Aldan was so young, even to her.

Master Yoda just didn’t look violent. She knew he had potential to be, everyone did, but he seemed so set in the ways of friends before foes. She trusted him, and something told her that maybe it was the right decision to go with them, to learn how to control herself.

She was packing the produce back into the bag, standing and carrying it into the house. Again, the house was warm with the smell of bread and she wiped her feet before delivering what she had been asked to gather to Jiji. He thanked her quietly before asking her to pour tea for Kelle and Master Yoda. She was thanked again at both times she set a warm cup down on the table and soon, Jiji had set her off with another task. It was apparent to her that the three men had spoken all night. Apparent, by they way they avoided conversation like a sickness.

This time, when she returned, there was a small travel sachet on the table. Jiji told her to collect some of her clothes and items she wanted to take with her, for she was to go with Master Yoda and Kelle Aldan. To learn herself.

* * *

**240 BBY**

Years had passed since that morning.

Years since Jiji had picked her up, told her he loved her and placed her cover over her shoulders and her bag on her back. She hadn’t left with much, and she hadn’t received much on the planet of _Coruscant_ either. But the things she did have, she treasured. Even now, she wore the wooden prayer beads Jiji had never been without. The carving of the eight-legged equestrian he’d made on her fifth _Kinainan_ year was set on her bookshelf, guarding the few books she had rarely been given. There was a slow, spinning hologram of _Kinai_ on her desk that told her whether it was night or day, and what season it was on her home planet. The knitting Jiji always made her wear in the times of long nights, was folded carefully on her dresser. There wasn’t much of _her_ in her room. Even the small trinkets she collected from battle fields and busted old ships on their class outings, barely felt like hers. They sat lined up on her window seal, the pieces of metal, wood, glass and stones; and on many mornings, she watched the light dance over her stolen treasures.

That day had been like any other day in the class of Jedi Younglings, and for some odd reason, the passing years had been anything but exciting. To keep her on track with the next round of Padawans, they had given her six years’ worth of remedial work and training before she could begin the proper studies with the students who were to make up her class. Remedial work had been an annoyance, but she would be lying if she’d say she didn’t learn anything. Before the time she started going to proper lectures and virtualized battle scenarios, Kelle Aldan had been shamelessly teaching her how to float in the in between for so much longer than she had ever thought possible. He guided her, taught her what to look for amongst the many lights. Kelle had shown her the difference between the way Jedi’s, and a Force sensitive persons inner light glowed. She remembers him guiding her through the Force, her hand in his as he told her how to be partially submerged within herself, to feel it around her always. He taught her how to tune her senses down to a fine point, so fine that she didn’t have to feel absolutely everything around her at once.

Her remedial time passed with Kelle growing older, and as her life of true Jedi studies began, she saw less of her ginger man who became her friend. A decade and three years passed her by like it was nothing, and only the aging of her peers and Kelle kept her aware of the grand changes of this grand planet and city.

That day she had propped her sleepy head up on her palm at Master Po’s reiteration of what their class of seven was already buzzing in their seats for. Tomorrow was the last day of basic training; and soon after, they would study the Kyber crystal. They had touched oh so lightly on the subject in an earlier year. This time, they would study them in depth. They would understand the mineral completely before their years as Jedi Younglings came to an end with their trip to the ice caves of _Ilum_. A trip to find the sacred core of their future Lightsabers.

Her feet swung as she sat in the desk chair that was still too big for her. By the time she would become a Padawan, she was still to be in her sixth _Kinainan_ year, but she was to be older than her Master most likely. Ever since she’d gotten there, she’d felt out of place, looking the youngest but almost certainly being the oldest. She constantly felt so aged, so dulled in the light of almost thirteen years. Master Po dismissed the class with a swift motion.

Kelle Aldan had come to collect her from classes that afternoon, leaned up again a pillar further down the hall. He’d hissed at her and she greeted him in the proper way since he had been elusive to her for nearly a week at that point.

That day, like others, he had discretely passed her a standard saber as he pointed her down the hall, and to the fields where Padawan and Jedi trained. When they had made it to the covered field, she’d glanced around before discarding her books to the floor with a face. There was no one about that evening. That was a rare sight indeed. She doesn’t think she’d ever been here without moving under the gazes of Jedi Masters. But when she’d made her way over the field lines, she heard Kelle’s lightsaber ignite. She’d side stepped and turned at his cheap attack to her back, to which he barked a praise.

“Very good!” He stood up straighter, waiting for her to press the button on her training saber and accept his challenge. He’d waited for the shine of blue, but it never came. Instead, she studied him, noticing that his ginger hair was pulled back into a small bun and he had discarded the brown robe he usually wore over his painfully obvious Jedi clothing. When she stood there, watching, he lunged at her once more, forcing her to ignite the saber that was far too big for her. Where she couldn’t beat him in strength, she made up for in speed. She had learned a long time ago how Kelle fought. He used his size against her, but then again, she also used his size against him.

They practiced like that for a long passage of sky, sabers sparking and hissing on contact. They collided until the star of _Coruscant_ had began setting and he called for their sparring match to come to its end. Puffing out a breath of hot air, she gladly watched as the blue glow of her too large lightsaber disappeared before she fell to the ground, arms and legs splayed out. Her breathing was labored and her eyes squinted against the light of the fields. She could feel dirt sticking to her damp skin and she wondered if Seros would visit her tonight. The _Sedkains_ visits were becoming further and further apart, and he came to her beaten mess more often than not.

“You’re getting quite good Reddlen.” Kelle sat next to her, his arms draped over his bent knees. She couldn’t talk yet, so she simply raised a thumb to him. Her action pulling a chuckle out of him. “I would be happy to take you on as my Padawan.” She raised her head at that, and she studied him again, her eyes searching his freckles like she’d done many times. She could see a few beads of sweat on his brow and noticed how frizzy his ginger hair had gotten during their mock battle. He could probably feel the way she stared at him, because he gave her a quick smile that a friend would give, not a Master.

“But you’re already spoken for.” Her eyes narrowed at that and she sat up to wipe her forehead. She opened her mouth and Kelle held up his hand, much like Master Yoda had done to him their first meeting. “I can’t tell you, remember?” She pouted at that, and he chuckled again as she reached up to gently slap his face with both of her small hands. He laughed more, and fended her off with gentle blows. There were a few moments of huffed silence before she insulted his hair.

“It’s a _kriffn’_ mess, Kelle.” He mocked a gasp at her, hand to his chest.

“Do you talk to your Jiji with that mouth?” She giggled and put her whole palm to his face before pushing him away from. Dropping the training saber into his lap, she moved to stand behind him; and in the many nights Seros braided her hair, he also guided her fingers through his. So as she Stood behind Kelle, she tucked and weaved his thick hair back.

Her second friend in the whole universe allowed her to do as she pleased, and she didn't feel so dull any longer.


	4. 240 BBY - 239 BBY

**240 BBY**

Their last few months were ending as they traveled to the Unknown Region; and she suddenly felt like she was just getting further and further from _Kinai_ every second they flew. She’d missed her home, missed her Jiji and the little cabin close to the woods. But, it seemed, she missed the way the forest breathed around her the most. _Coruscant_ was a giant city, where there were few pieces of nature. She could barely see one tree from her dorm room window.

She had expressed her discomforts to Seros, when she took the pain of his many busies away one evening. He’d seemed awfully distant that visit, and it wasn’t until she actually touched his face that he saw her. The gold in his eyes had been unfocused and weary. He’d wrapped his arms around her tightly. And then, he just held her that night, chin resting on the crest of her garnet hair. He told her to be strong, to ignore the things they said to her, told her it wasn’t true. At that moment she didn’t understand. They stayed like that for a long time, not speaking or moving, just listening to the other breathe until it felt like something stripped him away from her. She was left alone in the dark of her room once again.

She had told Kelle as well, one sunny afternoon. She told him how awful it felt to be cooped up in a building, in a city. At his next visit, he’d brought her a small potted plant that he said was called a “Bonsai Tree”. He told her that if she cared for it just right, it would bloom; pink and beautiful. She was indeed meticulous with the little tree; and many times, her classmates had caught her whispering encouragements to it as she preened its leaves.

But now, her breath fogged up the window she sat in front of. Their agonizing jump through hyperspace was almost over, and they would soon be landing on the surface of _Ilum_. The planet was known to be sacred to Jedi, and incredibly cold to everyone else. She rubbed her hands up her bare arms and then back down. Her clothing seemed to be lacking in that moment. Her ruby _qipao_ was tall necked, but no-sleeved; and its slit sides stopped just under her ribcage where her high-waisted _nu-bakama_ pants picked up. They hid her rusty freckled hips under the black fabric. Jiji’s knitted cover laid over her shoulders, and this time, she had buttoned it closed rather than leave it open.

Most of the time, she adorned no shoes on her feet, as she found them to inhibit her ability to connect with the planet under foot. But in light of where they were headed, she gladly tied her boots around her ankles. The ship around them slid out of hyperspace in a creaky sort of way, and suddenly, she could see _Ilum_ outside of her windowed seat. She called to her classmates, and she regretted it when all seven of them were crowded around her little pane of glass, fighting to get a glance at the pale planet.

When they touched down, her window fogged up and the hatch that was the ships walkway lowered. Master Po lead them out of the warmth of the ship, and into the frosted woods. She was suddenly taken back to _Kinai_ in the middle of the long nights. Trees here were heavy with the recent snowfall, and the ground had crunched under her feet. The air was sharp until she’d tamed it within her lungs; and when she blew out, she was telling _Ilum_ exactly who she was. Even through the dulling rubber soles of her boots, she could feel the sheer amount this Force this planet had to offer; and it shook her to her core. She’d stopped in the snow. One of her female classmates, Tara, saw her pause, and she took her hand and helped her through the thick powder to follow after Master Po and the others.

* * *

They were lined up, one after the other, shortest to tallest and just inside the mouth of the caves. She was in front, a short-handled pickaxe in both hands and a canteen on her hip. Master Po had been as long winded as ever as he explained how this whole Kyber crystal mining worked. He always seemed so uptight. Like he wanted nothing to do with children, yet here he was, teacher of a bunch of thirteen-year olds. He was so overjoyed.

“You will have access to the whole cave.” Master Po started, adjusting the shoulders of his brown coat meticulously. “No one will guide you; no one will watch over you.” He paused and turned his gaze to a particularly flakey student before he continued.

“You will go where the Force tells you to, if you get lost, I _will not_ come and find you.” He asked if we understood and we all nodded as a unit.

This sounded like a grand time, and she wasn’t sure if she was excited, or thoroughly annoyed. Master Po dismissed them again, and Tara jittered behind her. She could feel the younger girl’s excitement bounce up the cave walls and muddy the feel of the Force string that had already begun pulling her to an unknown destination.

It was silent for a long moment as others stilled themselves. She took this time to pull her boots back off of her feet and her cover off of her shoulders. Tying her processions into a bundle, she folded the bottom hem of her pants up and over her knees. She got a few looks, and Tara had asked her what she was doing.

“This cave will only get warmer the further we go in.” She’d stated matter of factly as Jiji had told her that. The temperature of the ground beneath them could only drop so much, and with digging in their future, she genuinely feared overheating.

“And anyway,” She started again, looking up at the girl’s wide eyes. “I sense things better with nothing on my feet.”

* * *

She had been digging for what felt like days.

Her hands were blistering from the work, even though her palms were heavily calloused from poorly prompted lightsaber sparring. Calloused, from Kelle never being able to find her a saber small enough. But no matter how her hand felt, she could feel it. She could _feel_ it now. It was so close; so close that her Kyber crystal was warming the wall she chipped away at. Just out of her reach, and so temptingly frustrating. She could hear the thoughts in her head nagging her to give up, to climb out of the hole she’d made. She didn’t.

She had no idea who was all in the cave still; not that she ever left. She never moved and she’d slept against the cave wall, pickaxe held close and water rationed. She was getting tired, but the prospect of her Kyber crystal pushed her forward. Her toes dug into the dirt of the cave floor as she dug herself closer and closer to her goal, not caring how dirty her clothes became. It was dirt, organic, it would wash out.

She’d hit a pocket. She had finally hit a pocket and she was shoulder deep in it. She could feel the back of the crystalline wall, feel the coolness of crystals that were not hers as she pushed them out of her way. There was something warm against her fingers and she _grinned_ , wiping dirt off of her nose before gingerly pulling at the stone. She gripped her crystal in her hand as she pulled it from its hiding spot that she had all but dug a _body sized hole_ for. Keeping the colors hidden from her eyes, she backed out of the smaller tunnel she’d made in the cavern wall. She sniffled, and wiped her face with her wrist, trying to avoid getting dirt in her eyes once more.

Her fingers were so warm as they clutched the crystal, her crystal. She could feel her heart quicken at the mere thought, but when she opened her fingers, her brow furrowed. Her excited emotions bubbled down into confusion. There were two crystals resting in her hand. Two that were fused together, and two that were different colors. Could they be different colors?

It seemed so, because they glowed separately together, if that made sense, in such a lovely way. The crystal fused to the left side was green and dark and endless looking, but the other was just such a gentle gold. It was nearly the same color she had so contently associated with Seros and his eyes. They both radiated a comfortable heat, and though the crystals did not warm, her body did.

She didn’t need to watch where she was going, she let her feet carry her back to the mouth of the cave, tied her boots and climbed back onto the ship. She found that she was the sixth student present and out of the caves. She somehow hadn’t taken the longest. Tara waved her over before beginning to helping her clean the dirt off of her skin.

She didn’t show anyone the stones until they arrived back on _Coruscant._

* * *

Kelle Aldan wasn’t too surprised.

“Many Jedi have dual sabers.” He’d said while they sat in the middle of the training room floor. She was dusty and sweaty from a sparring match, but she wasn’t really paying too much attention to her discomfort.

“Really?” She had asked softly, turning the fused stones in her palm.

“Yeah,” He started, wiping sweat off his freckled forehead. “But I don’t think I’ve ever seen them fused like that.” He’d gently tapped her wrists, his eyes watching the way her thumbs slid over the crystalline surfaces.

“Can you even make two sabers out of them though? With them fused like that I mean?” She shrugged at his question before speaking.

“I bet they would split, you know, if I asked them too.” She said that with such a sureness, like she knew it would happen without actually knowing for sure.

“Maybe,” He paused again before he nudged her foot with his. “When you do split them, make sure to keep them close. I would think those two need to be together always, since they fused like that at some point.”

She had agreed, and he asked her to put them away.

* * *

**239 BBY**

The twelve Jedi of the High Council sat above them.

And all seven of them stood with their hands clasped above their stomachs, elbows out. The crystals they had painstakingly mined from the caves of _Ilum_ , hidden within their fists. They had finally passed the classes, passed the scenarios, and located their future lightsaber cores. The next step, was for a Master to pick them, and to train with them for a whole decade.

No pressure.

Fully-fledged Jedi filed into the high-ceilinged room. Walking in behind her and her peers, they stood, at least seven or more of them. She could hear their boots shift and scuff on the smooth stone floor.

“Welcome, Jedi Knights and Jedi Younglings.” There wasn’t much more said then that. “Jedi, please select the Youngling you wish to mentor.”

There was a small flick of the wrist from the Grand Master. She could hear the first Jedi’s footsteps pace behind them, stop, move on, stop again. This Jedi Knight, and the ones after them were picky. Some footfalls never halted, and eventually, walked away; or they would stop many times, even a mixture of both occurred. She could see Tara next to her. She could see how the girls face lit up, and how her expression became nervous when a Jedi’s footsteps finally came to their halt behind her.

The grip of her fingers on her twin crystals tightened when another Jedi Knight passed her by. She was beginning to get very nervous, and it took everything in her to still her raging mind. Her thoughts ran.

_Was she not going to be chosen this round?_

_Did she not have potential?_

_Did she leave Jiji for nothing?_

There was another motion from the Grand Master and small, short footfalls began to walk the length of their seven-long line; but they never faltered behind any of her peers. And when they came to stop behind her, she let out a sharp breath of relief. Her thoughts settled, and she tilted her face down. She’d known who’d chosen her, she could see the pale green, inner light reflect off of the windows in front of her. No one moved.

“Our Jedi Knights have chosen.” The Grand Master surmised in a soft voice. “Lift your heads, for Jedi Younglings you are no longer.” She tilted her chin up, as did the others of her class. Tara’s eyes were closed.

“Now turn, and take your place as a Jedi Knights Padawan.” She and her peers lifted their left heel, turned, and bowed sharply all in unison. They had practiced that movement for days. When she’d stood back up, she’d smiled at the little green man.

“Master Yoda.”

“Padawan Reddlen, good to see you it is.” He offered her a hand and she gladly placed her free fingers in his. The others had begun offering greetings to their new Masters. Those around her traded names and pleasantries while she, well she had kneeled in front of the short figure that was Yoda. They pressed their foreheads together, and when he pulled away, he asked of her Kyber crystal. She could feel herself hesitate; for this somehow felt different than showing Kelle the crystals she had found.

Kelle Aldan was a constant in her life, but she hadn’t seen Master Yoda since he took her to the long-standing deliberations of the High Council. She was worried that she would somehow disappoint the old Jedi Master.

Yet, and despite herself, she opened her fingers to expose the twin crystals that had been hidden in her palm. She showed them for what they were. He’d hummed the same _Hurrm_ sound he had made before they met in that field on _Kinai_. He made the sound once more, and this time, she’d watched as his ears twitched when he peered into her outstretched palms.

“Twins they are.” Master Yoda observed quietly; and she nodded, not sure what to say.

“Will they separate?” Her voice had been hushed under the chatter of new Padawans and Masters speaking of the same thing they were. He was nodding before she’d finished her question.

“Separate they will.” He patted her wrist softly. “No worry you should have.” He cupped her hands in his and he smiled at her. Master Yoda then pressed her fingers back together, causing her palms to wrap aground the green and gold in a protective manner. He then motioned for her to stand, and in a moment, she had brought her crystals against her chest and followed after her new Master.

He took his time to greet and trade words with the Grand Master. Soon, both she and him bowing to the old Jedi Knight, before the Grand Master and her Master Yoda exchanged words once more.

She was motioned to follow again, and he walked her outside.

“Walk with me you will.” He started as he led her out of the Council room. “For much to talk about we have.” She’d nodded and followed the little green Jedi down the hall and back to the dorms.

He took her back to her two storied room in relative silence. Once outside her door, he instructed her to put her twin Kybers away, that her time to make sabers was not near enough. She’d followed him back down the steps, and back out into the noise of the not far off city.

Master Yoda chided her about simply following him, asking her to walk alongside of him instead. They walked more; him asking her questions of all sorts and shapes. Easy answers came to her lips and before long she’d mindlessly passed through the doors of the training field with him. The building was empty again, like it had been on the day Kelle had let her braid his hair. She opened her mouth to express her confusion when he held his small hand out. A standard lightsaber flew past her, missing her softly pointed ear by merely an inch as it landed in his sure grasp.

“Good form you have, Kelle Aldan says.” Master Yoda tossed her the lightsaber that was too big for her, and way to big for him. “Show me.”

She hesitated for a moment, and then she stilled herself. Her fingers ignited the lightsaber.


	5. 232 BBY - 221 BBY

**232 BBY**

Missions were infinitely more entertaining than what Master Yoda called training. Even the missions where she simply stood at his shoulder as he spoke with dignitaries. Most jobs they were sent on were filled with talking, and tea drinking as they accompanied large transport ships through pirated sections of space. But then there were missions where she actually got to _do_ something. Since every now and then, they would actually get attacked. Then she could really be of use. She could finally visibly work with all of the Force training Master Yoda had put her through.

At that moment though, she could only _wish_ they were under attack while on the little forest-rich planet that they had been stationed upon. Wished she was doing anything else than holding all of her body weight up with one arm, legs attempting to keep her balanced on that rounded rock with nothing more than one palm as her anchor. Sweat dripped off her nose as two sets of large stones orbited around her in alternating directions and paths. There were at least twelve that she held in the air. She breathed out an overly shaky breath as she shut her eyes in an attempt to collect her concentration. Master Yoda had been perched on a boulder, legs folded in a lotus position, with his own eyes closed.

“Unfocused, you are.” His voice had rocked her like a wave. One of the stones in her orbit began slipping downwards, and she cursed, gaze flaring back to life to stare the rock back into its place. She breathed out shakily again, and she swallowed the dry lump in her throat. Her arm had begun to tremble. Master Yoda sighed and opened his eyes, his gaze studying her.

“Thoughts in your head, jumbled they are.” Oh, this was not going to help her. She blew a stray red hair out of her eyes. “Clear you mind you must.” She couldn’t, not with what happened last night. Not with the way Seros had looked.

Someone had finally broken his ribs. It had taken every ounce of her concentration to heal him, to disperse the discoloring of his skin. To ignore the pain that blossomed within her own ribs, and to clear his mind of the darkness that had settled there. Every time he appeared to her, his shadows had grown larger, became harder and harder to dissipate. She had been so tired. Tired enough that he thanked her by holding her to chest, letting her sleep peacefully.

Even now, the pain in her ribs made her flinch; causing her stance to wobble. Her mind was still muddied as well, and Master Yoda had taken a sharp notice. Yet he never told her to relax, put the stones down and talk with him. No, he wanted her to talk it out, to deal with it amongst the weight of her own Force circling.

“I can’t.” She finally ground out. His ears had twitched and his face fell.

“You cannot; or you will not?” She’d sputtered at his reply, arm trembling even more now.

“I _can’t_.” She had growled again. “I just, I can’t.” The stones fell back into the soil with a deafeningly deep thump that rattled through the ground. She dropped herself down to sit on the forest floor, her head hanging low as she tried to regain her ability to breathe.

“Done we are not.”

“Yes, we are.” She tried to stand, flinching as she’d twisted her body just a bit too far. She fell back. Master Yoda simply stared at her inquisitively, that _Hurrm_ sound escaping him like it had done so many times in the past seven years.

“Your mind you must control.” The little green Jedi pointed to his temple with two of his three fingers. She groaned. Yes, she knew that; but it was so much easier said then done.

“I know Master, I just.” She cut herself off, hand scraping loose hair out of her face. How was she supposed to tell him about the boy only she saw? How was she supposed to tell him that she used every amount of her concentration, her energy on Seros? To heal him and clear his mind at least once a week?

“Just, you what?” Master Yoda slid off the boulder, and his feet hit the ground with a short sound. He hobbled towards her slowly.

“I just feel like ever since I left _Kinai_ , I’ve begun to lose control over myself.” She rubs the sweat off of her forehead with the long hem of her _qipao._ “Like I’ve lost my ability to still myself completely.” She felt, and most likely looked, absolutely exasperated. Her Master placed his small hand on the crest of her less than shoulder length hair.

“Testing, these times have been.” He motions into the air. “But here, you are. Not there.” His finger moves down to poke her chest, before he then tilts her chin up so that she has to look at him properly. She opened her mouth to speak, but he was not finished yet.

“Padawan you are, Jedi you will become. Temporary pain is,” He nodded towards her side. “But peace, you will forge. Different people you will serve.” Master Yoda patted her cheek and smiled at her with a hum.

“Guidance I will give you. No worries you should carry, for young you still are.” She laughed at him, her head dropping back down as she wiped more of her sweat away. He was right; of course, he was. “Again, you will try.” He turned to climb back atop his boulder and she slowly pushed herself back into a handstand before transferring her weight onto one palm and set of fingers. She pointed her bare toes to the sky, and took a deep, eye closing breath.

“Focus,” Master Yoda said as she pushed her senses out through her hand, and into the rich forest floor. She felt the stones and their age, she felt them become a part of her as she quietly requested them to lift out of the dirt. She could hear them in the air, orbiting about her in a gentle pattern as she began sorting them by size.

“Good.” Her Master praised.

* * *

**221 BBY**

Kelle Aldan was forty-eight this month.

She, was still little more than halfway through the seventh _Kinainan_ year; the two-decade span that she had begun with becoming Master Yoda’s Padawan. The others that she had called classmates, and fellow Padawans, were now at least thirty. All having been promoted to Jedi Knight status; all with their own Padawans to mentor.

She stood atop the ledge of the dorm building, toes curled over the edge, as her clothing whipped about her in the wind. She held her own arms as she watched the _Coruscant_ star set, and she took a deep breath of the thinner air. She was one hundred and fifty-one standard years old. A century and a half cooped up in a body equivalent to a that of a childs; and Kelle had wanted her to become a Jedi, like, right then.

Kelle Aldan had wanted her to face the _Jedi Trials_. Face all five; well, four now. She had seemingly already passed her Trial of Flesh. The Council had accepted the thickly banded scar she’d received after a particularly hairy mission. The damage curled around her right shoulder, marred her diagonally across the back before slithering down her left hip and thigh. That scar she had received while on a mission with her Master. That scar she had received after being wrapped up by an unbearably hot support beam of a crashing ship. The kind of metal that just fell apart it was so heated; the kind she had managed to Force the steel off of herself, before pulling the ships passengers out.

Somehow, there had been no one to fight that time. The ships engines had simply failed while coming out of the _Naboo_ atmosphere. There had been no one to blame, but it was the one time she had gotten injured so badly. She had been in the sickbay for weeks; the smell of burnt skin haunting her. Sometimes, the air that cooled her room would kick on, and she would have to cover her nose. The scent from the vents eerily similar.

Her Trial of Flesh was over, she just needed to pass the others. The Skill Trial, she was not too worried over; as Master Yoda had made _sure_ that she could wield herself and her abilities efficiently and evenly.

Kelle had helped train her for the Trial of Insight long before she had even started Jedi Youngling classes. He had showed her how to notice subtle differences, to distinguish between what was real and what wasn’t.

Courage was bound to be an interesting run. She could just feel her future of running and dodging, fighting with _her_ lightsabers in hand. She was almost finished with them after all. Close to finishing the one she would hold in her left, for her right-handed saber was complete.

She was unsure what to expect from the Trial of Spirit, though. She obviously knew it would test her character, and it was this Trial she was most terrified of. Not because she didn’t think she could follow the light, but because she _knew_ Seros would be a part of it. She somehow knew that Seros’s reflection would be staring back at her in that mirrors pane. She knew it would happen.

_Seros._

Arms wrapped around her shoulders, and fingers gripped her skin.

“What are you doing here in the daylight?” Her question was almost lost against the wind.

“You called for me.” Seros whispered softly against her hair. She snorted at that, and he smiled into the short garnet strands. “You project quite loudly, you know?”

“Shut up, I do not.” She hadn’t been projecting _that_ loudly and she knew it. Her hands reached up to grab his arm softly. He pulled on her Padawan braid gently, twisting it and its beads in his slender fingers.

“Yes, you do.” She started to argue before he cut her off. “And that’s okay.” Seros rested his chin on the top of her head. It went quiet as they stared out over the city and the setting star.

“It’s beautiful here.” He commented quietly, his fingers tapping on her shoulders, as he obviously ignored the permanently damaged skin there. Seros perpetually seemed to think that her Master was the cause of the major scarring, and no matter what she told him, he never deserted his thoughts.

_“All Masters scar their pupils.”_ He’d said; like she was in a situation just like him. Like her Master Yoda was just like the people who constantly beat him in the ways they did before he came crawling into her room late at night.

“Come on,” He tugged on her shoulders lightly, pulling her away from the edge. “Let’s go finish those sabers of yours.”

* * *

She’d led him down the hall, her fingers quietly intertwined with his. Even though she was aware he wasn’t really there, she still snuck him about like he was forbidden contraband. She’d let him go after she had shut her door, her back resting against it heavily. She pointed an accusing finger at him.

“This is why you come at night.” He’d shrugged at her, his gold eyes glinting like the right sabered crystal hidden amongst her books. The corner of his mouth quirked up as he watched her settle from her panicked state.

“Relax,” He started. “No one’s gonna actually _see_ me.” He’d picked up the left-handed saber hilt she had been tinkering on for the past few weeks. Seros looked down its length and roughly checked its construction.

“You’ve added to it.” He’d voiced quietly and she nodded, pacing over and swiftly taking it from his grasp.

“And it’s not done, so you go sit down and let me finish my work.” She had been hard voiced at that, and she did not hide her annoyance from him. He was over two hundred and thirty standard years old and he was just as wrinkled nosed as ever. She’d huffed at him before she sat cross legged in her desk chair.

He was laughing at her again.

* * *

She crouched in her chair, Seros gazing over her shoulder at the two completed lightsaber hulls that laid carefully in the very center of her desk.

It was well past dark on the planet _Coruscant_ , and the only thing illuminating her room was the yellow of her table lamp and the eerie blue of the _Kinai_ hologram against the wall. She picked at the hem of her _qipao_ nervously as she stared at the two things that very loudly stated that she had completed her Padawan training. Her induction as a proper Jedi was agonizingly late anyhow; as of this month, she was a whole eight years overdue; and it was on purpose.

She chewed on her thumb nail, Seros breathing down her neck as he studied the things she had painstakingly completed. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders once more, his chin rested atop her hair

“All that’s left is the cores, huh?” She had simply nodded awkwardly with his heads weight on hers. “You do have cores, right?” She nodded again and she bit her thumb nail once more. Never had she shown him her twin Kybers, afraid that she knew exactly who he was and what he was now. She didn’t want to show him the green and gold of a Jedis lightsaber. She wanted to dance around the subject, thoroughly knowing no Jedi Master would ever _beat_ their student. She knew; and she knew that he knew as well. They had just successfully avoided the actual topic for nearly thirty-one years.

“Hey,” He pulled away from her, fingers now playing along the shortness that was her hair in an attempt to distract. “Don’t be such a worry wart, yeah?” He had read her thoughts again. Seros knew exactly what she was thinking, and she rubbed her eyes of sleep.

“Get out of my head.” She’d grumbled.

“You just project so _loudly_ , Reddlen.” He chuckled at her, his thumb rubbing over the lengthy Padawan braid that began behind her right ear. “You know, I liked your hair when it was long.” Seros whispered that confession softly. She’d swallowed the knot in her throat.

“I liked it when it was long and I could weave it in all sorts of ways.” He twisted some of her chopped off strands in his fingers. “Why did you cut it?”

It was true, she didn’t really _need_ to. She could have left it long and simply bunned it away like the other girls, but she hadn’t. She had cut all of her garnet curls off, but what for? She didn’t want to tell him the truth of her shedding her former herself. She didn’t want to tell him that she wanted almost nothing more to do with the little girl on Kinai that always found herself in trouble. She had wanted to grow up, and she didn’t want to say that out loud.

“It’s just easier like this,” She paused. “To train, I mean.”

What a shitty excuse.


	6. 190 BBY - 171 BBY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not gonna lie, I hardcore cried while writing the beginning of this chapter. 
> 
> I hope you cry too? Well, I hope it hits you like it hit me. 
> 
> Enjoy!

**190 BBY**

She gripped Kelle Aldan’s hand. She gripped his hand like she never wanted to let go, because she didn’t. Her cheeks were streaked with present and past tears, and he still gracefully reached over to wipe them from her skin. His palm rested against her face, and she held her fingers up to hold his old hand closer to her cheek.

As she looked at him, she could see the man he had once been. She saw the vibrant man reflected back at her in his bright blue eyes. She could see the thick ginger hair that had slowly melted into grey waves before her eyes. She could still see the freckles that were so much like her own, and how they now almost blended with his star tanned skin. He spoke to her with such a softness now; a softness that had never been present before his retirement from the Jedi Order.

Kelle had returned to his home planet of _Naboo_ after his retirement. _Naboo_ , where he lay dying now. She had hopped on a ship as fast as she could the morning after feeling his Force signature wane; and she had barely left his bedside since. She’d cried. She had cried shamelessly as he told her that he wanted her to become a Jedi Knight, as he told her to complete the trials, that she had nothing to worry about. She had balled and held his hand tightly, pressing it to her forehead and begging him not to leave her.

She’d begged the twenty-four-year-old man who she made the third flower crown for, then the thirty-year-old that taught her how to parry, the forty-eight-year-old that requested her to become a Jedi with crossed arms. She begged the sixty-six-year-old that retired, and moved back to _Naboo_. She begged the image of Kelle Aldan she had in her mind; asked the man laying in the bed to stay with her.

He’d simply gripped her hands in his and smiled at her. He reassured her that there was nowhere she could go that he wouldn’t follow. He reassured her, telling her that just because he was dying, nothing would stop him from being her soulmate, from being her best friend. She’d cried into his chest, and he had gently pet her shortly chopped hair, his fingers acknowledging the Padawan braid she still bore.

There were at least five flower crowns in different stages of wilt on his bedside table the fifth day she sat by Kelle’s bed. She’d spilled her guts to him. Relinquishing her fears, her thoughts, and most importantly: Seros. She’d told him everything about the boy with pale hair and gold eyes. How he came to her, how she healed him, and what she feared he was. Kelle Aldan had listened to her words with quiet acceptance before he took her hands in his once more.

“This is why you don’t want to face the Trials.” His voice was overused and hoarse as she nodded. She wiped her damp eyes with her palm as she looked at him.

“The Trials are supposed to lay you out for who you are.” She’d said while hiccupping and sniffling. “I don’t want to look in that mirror, and have to face him, to kill him.” She shook her head furiously.

“I don’t think I could do that Kelle.”

“How do you know that will be your Trial of Spirit?” She’d glanced up at him in slight confusion. Amusement in his eyes suddenly had her feeling foolish.

“I don’t understand.” Kelle smiled at her then. He gave her a smile like he had always given her after all of their poorly prompted sparring matches with a saber that was just too big for her hands.

“Reddlen, all the Trials of Spirit are different. You cannot possibly know what you will face.” He reached up and gently pushed some of the short hair out of her face before he pulled on her braid and its beads. “You can’t live your life as a Padawan. You can’t live your life like this.” Kelle swiped his thumb over her cheek, removing a tear that had started its way down.

“If you truly want to grow, to become who you are meant to be, then you must face your fears. You must proceed through the Trials, become a Jedi Knight.” He gazed at her with those blue eyes that perfectly matched his inner light. “Promise me.”

She’d promised him. She’d promised him while at his bedside. She’d promised him while he placed the sky blue, lukewarm, Kyber crystal in her hands.

“I can’t accept it.” She stated on the sixth day with a sixth flower crown in her grasp. He was sleepy that day, gazing at her fondly with lazy eyes as she sat down next to him.

“You can.” Kelle whispered. She was quiet for a long moment, feeling his crystal in her pocket grow heavier.

“When did you take it apart?”

“My lightsaber?” He smiled and reached out to take her hand as she placed the crown on his bedside table, just like she had the five days prior. “I took that thing apart a few years ago.” His thumb swiped across her knuckles in a slow motion. “I didn’t want anyone to find it after I died; so, I took it apart. And I thought I would give you my crystal.”

“Kelle, I can’t take it.” She’d begun to cry again, the cerulean crystal in her free hand now as she tried to give it back to the dying Jedi Knight.

“Please Reddlen, please take it.” And she did.

Kelle Aldan passed away holding her hand that day. She had stayed on _Naboo_ and wept for days at the loss of his presence; both physically and in her mind. Her second friend in the whole universe was gone from her grasp, his ginger hair never to be braided by her fingers again.

* * *

**171 BBY**

Kelle Aldan’s Kyber crystal hung from her Jiji’s prayer beads. She’d fashioned the necklace on the ship back to _Coruscant_ the week after he’d passed away. She’d fashioned the necklace she rarely took off. A necklace she was ready to jump into arguments over, for it was taboo to carry a dead Jedi’s crystal; but she did it anyway. It was her desperate attempt to cling to anything left she had of her Kelle Aldan. And the tree he had given her, she took even more meticulous approach to its care.

She often stood in the training hall, gazing at her memories of sparring matches and conversations. Even nearly twenty standard years after his death, she still grieved for him; as it had barely been a year for her. Her many nights with Seros had become her quiet times. Times where she would fix his skin and bones before falling into his arms and loosing herself completely. The _Sedkain_ didn’t know what else to do other than hold her and whisper comforts into her hair. Her Master had become worried, constantly making her put her sabers down and meditate with him under the shade of a rare tree. Missions assigned to her; she had come to complete while on autopilot.

She became dull again. She was heavy hearted and cold feeling even on the warmest of days. When she practiced her forms in the training hall, with her gold lightsaber being the only one that followed commands, she could feel voices nagging the back of her mind, trying to tear a hole in her consciousness. She could still hear the voices calling to her from a side of hatred and anger as she laid in Seros’s arms at night.

It wasn’t until she had a dream about the day she’d met Kelle Aldan that she picked her heart back off of the ground and carried on with herself. It wasn’t until she’d began dreaming of his sheer stupidity every night, that she remembered what he’d said to her.

_“There is nowhere you can go that I won’t be with you.”_

_“You must proceed through the Trials, become a Jedi Knight.”_

_“Promise me.”_

She’d promised him. She’d _kriffing_ promised that ginger haired idiot. And he was right; she couldn’t live her whole life as a Padawan. Couldn’t live her life in a fear that would ultimately tear her down. This was only the beginning of her tenth _Kinainan_ year, and she had so much more to live for.

The next morning, she carried herself onto the roof of the dorms. She needed an extreme form of meditation; one Master Yoda hadn’t made her do in nearly twenty years. So, she pushed herself into a handstand on the ledge of the building, her legs pulled together and toes pointed towards the sky.

She was shaky for a moment, and Kelle’s Kyber fell lukewarm against her cheek as she closed her eyes. Deep breathing and carefully trained relaxation had her stilling herself properly for the first time in decades. She could feel everything again. She could feel the buzz of the buildings, of the streets. She could feel the grass blades in the little gardens and the wind in the air. The Force around her jittered and sang with her proper return to it.

She didn’t know how long she stayed up there like that. Didn’t really care as she relived every memory, every moment she had of her ginger haired friend, feeling him swirl around her and keep her steadied. When she finally opened her eyes, she’d noticed she had been crying the whole session. She lost her balance then, and she fell back to her butt on the building’s roof, laughing and wiping tears from her cheeks.

“Welcome back, my Padawan.” She’d looked up to be greeted with the sight of her Master standing on the roof, watching her with a smile. Her hands dropped into her lap and she grinned at him with a sniffle.

“Yeah.” She got up and jogged over to him, noticing the star was setting and the day was ending. She had meditated the whole day on her hands, feet facing the clouds. She felt herself loosen from the stress she hadn’t known she carried for so long.

Kelle Aldan was gone from her vision, but he was not gone from her.

* * *

She had been sparring all day with the skittish Padawans and their careful eyed Masters; the ones that had always fled her presence when she’d enter the hall before this moment.

She held both of her sabers, green in the left and gold in the right as they circled about her. It had been a little more than a week since her meditation above the city, and she had begun feeling lighter and lighter every day. She continued to dream of Kelle while wrapped up in Seros’s arms, and she had gotten her green lightsaber to listen to her; well, for a little while. It would work until she had the slightest doubt in herself, then it would shut itself off, leaving her with one gold saber.

She held her deep green saber in her hand properly, pointing it at her opponents as she spun to face them all. Her gold lightsaber, in the other hand, had been designed to be held backwards; as even its trigger was towards its butt.

Someone lunged at her and she easily blocked them, sending green sparks flashing when their blue met her gold. They had been trained in hand-to-hand combat while in Jedi Youngling classes. She knew they had been, but they didn’t use it; so, when she blocked their attack and kicked them squarely in the sternum, she could hear the surprise in their forced exhale.

Their sparring went on like that until Master Yoda called it off with a small _“Enough”_. Her Master beckoned her over as she disengaged her hard-won weapons. She slid her sabers into their holsters on the back of her hips as she jogged over to the little green Jedi.

He’d hummed at her.

“Ready for the Trials, you are.”

And that night, they began.

* * *

Her trial of Skill and Insight were over in one round of fighting. They had placed her in an arena filled with people and a singularly, absolutely _massive_ droid to battle. The crowd was horribly loud, causing her some annoyance until she’d seen the tear in the vision. Until she’d cut it down with a throw of her gold before she took the absurdly massive droids head with as few movements as possible.

Courage had been a wild run; just like she had thought it would be. It was a mission, one that she had felt reminiscent of. But something was off. It was obvious that in that mission, she should’ve had back up of her Master and other Jedi, but, she didn’t. She fought the mass of droids by herself, cutting blasters with both lightsabers as she plowed through them, using her smallness as a tool for their downfall. She’d stood in a circle of destroyed bots, heavily breathing and sweaty as her green lightsaber sputtered and disengaged itself. She had accidently thought that maybe she went a bit overboard.

Spirit, was the current Trial she faced, and as she walked into the room, the door slid shut behind her. She could see her breath cloud around her face as she walked into the unnecessarily cold room. The fabled mirror stood in its center, her feet carrying her around it until she worked herself up to stand before its pane of reflective glass. At first, she saw nothing but herself standing there, and she thought that maybe the worst version of herself was the version she was currently.

She’d frowned at her short stature, her still slightly pudgy cheeks covered in freckles that she pinched in her reflection. She’d pulled at the choppiness of her hair next, then at the way her clothing fit her, checking her heavily scarred shoulder. She stood like that for a few minutes, confused as why it was just showing her. Showing her what she could obviously see, until a voice whispered at her from the dark. Its cold and shadowed words wrapped around her like that hot metal beam had, so long ago.

_“You left me.”_

It was Jiji’s pressed words; pressed against the stone walls, and she suddenly felt herself begin to tremble _. “You left me alone and cold, an old man like me.”_ He paused, her heart clenching as she searched the room around her for the source of her now spoken anguish.

_“I knew I should have never taken a discolored child like you in.”_ But Jiji loved her, didn’t he? There was sudden laughter and a snort that she knew all too well. She had _told_ Kelle that he would be here.

_“I’m just using you, and you don’t even know it!”_ Seros was yelling at her, his voice bouncing off of the walls in a violent manner. He was much less subtle sounding than Jiji in the dark of that room. _“I’m a Sith's apprentice my little Red. A Sith with a little Jedi wrapped around his finger!”_ He chuckled, his words hitting her like a ton of bricks as she began to back away from the direction he’d yelled at her. He’d said it. He’d actually said it out loud, her greatest fear of him.

_“Come on,”_ Seros sang in her ears, slender fingers brushing along her scarred shoulder. She’d jumped and screamed at the contact. _“You know what I am, say it.”_ She couldn’t, she was stoned up against the cold wall, her fears pressing on her as she attempted to flee the ghosted fingers of Seros that she felt move across her skin. _“Say it!”_ He screamed at her. _“Tell me what I am!”_

_“Dirty child,”_ Jiji’s voice began again. _“A bad omen of a girl. A girl with no name, just an estrangement.”_

_“I wasted so much time on you.”_ Kelle Aldans voice had cut her like a knife while the other two continued to tear into her very soul. She was crying, she could feel it on her face, streaking in warm, salty paths. She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to block out the voices echoing in the room around her. Her breathing was so agonizingly irregular as she grabbed at her own shoulders, attempting to fend off the fingers of Seros that snatched at her skin. A cry of fear and pain left her when her braid was pulled sharply.

_“You can’t stay a Padawan forever.”_ Shut _up_ Kelle, she knew that already. That’s what she was doing here with four of her five trials passed. That’s why she stood here, being assaulted by the people she cared for most.

_“Failed me, you have.”_ Master Yoda’s voice floated into her ears from somewhere below her. _“The dark side, you have fallen into.”_ No, no she hadn’t, she was here. She was here wasn’t she? She was taking all this hatred for the sake of becoming a Jedi, wasn’t she?

She could feel her heart in her throat and she desperately grabbed at the necklace that hung low on her chest. She felt the lukewarm Kyber crystal warm her frozen fingers. Could feel the worn wood of Jiji’s prayer beads against her skin. The thought of Jiji, Kelle, her Master, and Seros. She thought about them really hard.

And then she came to a revelation within her panicking mind. These were simply her own fears and thoughts. The ones she had felt over her ten Kinainan years. The things she had made up in her self-deprecation. To leave, she knew she had to accept these as hers, as her own. She dropped to her knees and bowed; her forehead pressed to the stone of the rooms floor. She yelled to Jiji first. She yelled through the voices that pried at her tears.

“Thank you Jiji!” She swallowed harshly. “Thank you for believing in me! Thank you for taking care of me, accepting me and loving me! I will become everything you want me to, just wait for me a little longer!” There was a warm hand on her hair, and she flinched away until she realized it hadn’t moved violently.

_“It’s time to get up young one. There’s a whole world for you to go and explore this morning.”_ The ghost of Jiji’s voice whispered from her memories.

She took on the voice of her Master Yoda next.

“I know I’ve waited too long Master!” She ground her teeth as she felt a foot connect with her ribs. “I know I was difficult, moping for more than twenty years and constantly getting lost in the dark of my mind! I’m almost finished, wait for me until I emerge from here!” A small palm fell to her head softly.

_“Padawan you are, Jedi you will become. Temporary pain is, but peace, you will forge. Different people you will serve. Guidance I will give you. No worries you should carry, for young you still are.”_ The little green Jedi Master hummed from her mind.

She snarled at the fake Kelle Aldan.

“The Kelle I know would never say that!” The ginger haired Jedi and Seros’s voices still screamed at her. “The Kelle I know grins like an idiot, and is horrible at prompting sparring matches! My Kelle lives within me, and I will live up to his promise, I will keep it!” There was a fond tug at her Padawan braid and its beads.

_“There is nowhere you can go that I won’t be with you.”_ This time, the Kelle of her mind sounded young against her ears.

Seros was last, his voice the loudest amongst it all.

“My dear Seros,” Her voice was quiet as she battled the ghost of the pale haired boy. She could feel his fingers scrape and pull at her skin and clothing. “I appreciate you so much more than I could ever express with words. You’re my constant, my shoulder and my confidence. I know what you are, and I find myself loving you anyway.” There was a hand under her floor hidden chin, and it was lifting her head. She could see Seros smiling at her through her teary eyes, see him there but not really. He hugged her, arms wrapping around her shoulders tightly. This was just a vision of him, the Seros she had built in her mind after long nights of conversations and concentration.

_“We’ll fight together, fight for the better.”_ He’d whispered in her ear as he evaporated. She had emerged from the chamber of Spirit bruised and tear streaked, but with her head held high. They were waiting on her. Her Master nodding at her, seemingly knowing what she'd battled.

Her ceremony date had been set to a week after her Trials had been completed.

* * *

She tried to sit in deep meditation.

She could sit in a meditative state for far more than an hour, but the whole day? Not even close. She groaned and opened her eyes, frustration itching across her skin. Standing, she paced over the windows, staring out at the city below her. Master Yoda had brought her to the preparation room at the top of the _Tranquility Spire_ nearly three hours ago. She was getting antsy, even after she was told to wait in a deep, meditative state. She had made it through three hours, her mind somehow keeping time with the _Coruscant_ star. There was no way she was going to _sit_ , for the whole day; so, she did what she only did on serious occasions.

She pushed her feet up towards the ceiling, her hands holding her body steady as she breathed, deep and smooth breaths. When she’d entered her mind that time, she did not come out for a long while. She could feel the planet spin with her on it. She could feel the inner workings of the _Spire_ , and she could feel the traffic in the streets and air. She sat back and watched it all, for what must have been hours.

* * *

Night had fallen when Master Yoda came to retrieve her. He found it amusing that the only way she could meditate like she had been told, was to stand on her hands. She’d blushed, obviously embarrassed that her Master was laughing at her.

He guided her up the _Hall of Knighthood_ and to the double doors that opened on the opposite side of the council room. She had never been here before, never looked through these windows, or at the hall’s architecture. The doors on this side of the room where ornate, and when she stopped before them, they opened.

The council room was pitched black, and when she’d glanced back at her Master, he motioned her forward, following after her footsteps. She stood in what she hoped was the center of the room, her bare feet stopping on the cold of the floor. It was dead silent and darker than anything else before lightsabers ignited in mainly greens and blue hues; but there was an orange off to her left and a white directly in front her.

She kneeled in front of the same old man that had presided over her Padawan choosing, and once more, she wondered what planet he was from. He raised his saber, and the others lowered theirs towards the ground.

“Reddlen,” The old Jedi Master begins only to pause, his eyebrows raised. Her last name. Oh, her last name.

She didn’t have one.

She only had what everyone else had called her. _An estrangement, a Zamora_. It was silent for a long moment as she deliberated. Maybe, just maybe, she like the thought of being an estrangement. A garnet haired, green eyed, very _not_ pastel _Kinainan_ with the power of the Force at her fingertips. Yeah, she was an estrangement against her people. And she kinda liked it.

“Zamora.” She’d answered the Grand Master. “My last name is Zamora.” The gentle smile he had given her had almost been too much.

“Reddlen Zamora,” He lowered his white saber to hover over her thickly scared right shoulder. “By the right of this council,” He moved it over her head, and to her other shoulder with amazing grace.

“And the will of the Force, I dub thee, Jedi.” She could feel the heat of his saber close to her softly pointed ear as he stripped her of the Padawan braid that she had bore for so long. The hair fell next to her feet, the beads making a small clacking sound against the stone floor.

“Now stand, Knight, of the Republic.”


	7. 32 BBY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit of the Phantom Menace, sorry if I've messed it up, I did my best at researching. 
> 
> Have mercy.

“Qui-Gon Jinn, you want me to go _where_?” She dropped her hands down onto the old, open book she’d been reading before he interrupted her. They were the only ones in the library, and her junior Jedi shifted in his seat across from her.

“Naboo.” He paused for a moment, unsure, as he opened his mouth again. “Yes, I know you dislike the planet but-”

“ _Hate_ , the planet.” She’d corrected with a tiny amount of annoyance. His eyes showed her his skepticisms, and she raised her eyebrows at him. “What? I do.” Qui-Gon Jinn rubbed his forehead and leaned over the table more, hand outstretched towards her in a show of peace.

“Please, Master Zamora.” She’d crossed her arms over her chest, lips pursed as she leaned back in her creaky wooden chair. “The Chancellor assures me this mission will be simple, but I get the notion it won’t.” She tilted her head to side in an attempt to give him a fair hearing.

“I’m going to need backup.” She sat up sharply then; her hands motioning to his nearly Trial ready Padawan that stood against one of the libraries many stone pillars.

“Backup?” She’d hissed at him, her hand dropping back to the old paper that held an ancient Jedi text. “You have a Padawan that is more than ready to become a Jedi if you’d let him. What could you possibly need me for?” He shifted in his seat uncomfortably at her exclamation.

“I’ve seen your file.” He’d blurted at her, and she could feel her face contort. Her mouth opened as she began to berate him. “You have one of the highest mission completion rates.” He finished before she could even start. She clicked her jaw shut in annoyance.

“And what does that have to do with this?”

“Why haven’t you taken a Padawan?” Qui-Gon diverted quickly, and that got a rise out of her. Her teeth grit at his question. “I know the Council wants you to.” He wasn’t wrong, but this wasn’t a conversation designed for him.

“I don’t think that’s any of your concern, Qui-Gon Jinn.” She waved him off, her hands swiftly closing the book she had been reading with a snap. “This is not going the kind of talk that will get me to go back to Naboo.” Standing to place the text back in its place, she brushed the spine off with some sort of respectful gentleness.

“You hate the planet because of-” She held a pointed finger out to the junior Jedi, the Force prickling over her skin in a not-quite menacing way that still cut him off. Something bitter died on her tongue as she saw his Padawan, Obi-Wan Kenobi, move towards them according to the Force she’d recklessly disturbed. She rubbed her outstretched hand over her face in an exasperated manner.

“Just how much of my file did you read?”

“Most of it.” He’d replied, and she laughed shortly, leaning into the bookshelf for mental strength. She could feel her frustrations grow and fog up the room. So much like when she was simply a child in her bedroom. She took a deep breath and reminded herself of the past two hundred and twenty years; of the things she had grown from experiencing. That she was a senior Jedi now.

“Why?” Was her simple question as she glanced over at him, seeing the little Padawan in him that she’d watched grow under the wing of her brother under the same Master, Dooku.

“My Master spoke of you often, of Grand Master Yoda’s first Padawan that is.” His voice was gentle as he spoke to appease the rules of the library. “He said that if I ever doubted anything in a given order, that I should go to him; or if he was no longer here, you.” She glared at him, and suddenly she felt less and less agitation, and more of a fondness towards him. After all, he was more like her nephew than just a fellow Jedi. Just like how Yoda was similar to a father, and Dooku was her younger brother, all within the teachings of the Force. Qui-Gon Jinn was her nephew, and he deserved a good smack. Her gaze still softened.

She sighed and rubbed her eyes with her fingers as she made her way back to the table against the window that she had deemed her favorite a very long time ago. Her weight rested on one hip, and she took a deep, agonizing breath.

“You’re lucky I liked you when you were a kid.” She combed the few loose strands of her hair back out of her face, she glanced at Obi-Won and then back to his Master, Qui-Gon. The junior Jedi quirked a smile at her. She crossed her arms over her chest; eyebrow cocked in question. “Alright, what’s the mission run down?”

* * *

She hated the _Neimoidian_ named Nute Gunray. Hated him as they fled to the _Naboo_ surface. Hated him as they plead for _Otoh Gunga’s_ assistance, and were denied. Hated him a bit more when they made it to _Theed_ , a Queen, and her Handmaidens now in tow as they escaped from the planet that she despised the most.

She groaned as they made their way to the desert planet of _Tatooine_ ; she could already feel the extreme heat on her skin _._ They arrived in search of parts. Parts to fix the hyperdrive that had been practically destroyed in the process of getting off of _Naboo_. _Kriff_ she hated _Naboo_. Bad things had always happened to her on or around _Naboo_.

Her agonizing Trial of Flesh was completed over the _Naboo_ surface. Her Kelle Aldan died, her hands in his, on _Naboo_. She also just _happened_ to be there as the Sith launched an open invasion of the lush planet. Qui-Gon Jinn had been right about the complexity of this mission; for it was not filled with the tea drinking diplomats that she remembered escorting with her Master. No, this just had to be a difficult, and an utterly annoying mission. She groaned again as the hatch of the ship opened to expose the mass of sand that she knew _Tatooine_ to be. After all, she’d been here before.

Obi-Wan Kenobi had glanced at her with a gentle suspicion as she’d passed him by. She shot him a knowing grin before she exited the cabin. Stepping out, and into the sand, she felt her feet begin to burn. She glanced around, taking in the wasteland dunes, and the dust devils that danced over them. She motioned the others out of the ship.

“Let’s go then,” She glanced back to Qui-Gon, his indebted _Gungan_ , an astromech that never shut up, and a handmaiden that was anything but a handmaiden. “The closest settlement is _Mos Espa_ , and it’s not that close.” The younger Jedi nodded as he followed her into the sand, the others tracing their footsteps carefully. She let Qui-Gon Jinn lead them into the spaceport, let him lead them to Watto, and his shop.

She’d leaned against the doorway as Padmé and the slave boy began to talk. Leaned against the doorway as Jar-Jar began to make a fool of himself, again. She simply watched as Padmé and the boy, that she now knew as Anakin, spoke with little caution for the other. She watched him ask if she was an angel, as he spoke of how he came to, and wished to leave _Tatooine_. She didn’t blame the kid, but she felt the need to be a bit wary of him.

This boy had the Force. He had so much of it within him, that she knew he would somehow be leaving with them. That he would be trained in their ways. But she saw the way he was already looking at the Queen disguised handmaiden, could see the way their inner lights interacted, and she tsked, turning away to face the outside and its sand. She could feel this boy’s future, could sense, _taste_ the power he would wield.

Yet, his fate was sealed the moment he laid eyes on Padmé. As a Jedi, your feelings are hidden; you discard your emotions. There was a blissfulness to detached peace, she’d heard, yet she could never throw her Seros away. So, it’s not like she could say much against this boy and the Queen.

She scrunched her face against the hot wind that brought stinging sand in its wake. She could hear Qui-Gon Jinn behind her, ironing out some kind of deal with Watto the shop owner. There was the shaking clasp of hands, and the younger Jedi was touching her shoulder in acknowledgement. She glanced back at him, and there was a glint in his eye that she’d seen many times before. The glint of mischief that was rarely seen now, but had been present in his ten years as her brothers Padawan.

Anakin led them to his little home in the sand. He introduced them to Shmi, his mother, as they were offered food and drink after they settled around the table with Anakin. She was taking a bite out of an apple, and she was seated next to Qui-Gon when the boy began to stare at them from across the table.

“Are you Jedi Knights?” He’d asked, and she glanced at her junior sitting next to her, wanting him to reply. The long-haired Jedi smiled at her when Anakin’s mother berated him for asking such a question.

“What makes you think that?” Qui-Gon leaned his elbows on the table with another small glance at her. He gently stroked his beard as Jar-Jar flicked his tongue out to snatch a whole apple out of the bowl on the table. She gave the _Gungan_ a short glare as he swallowed the fruit whole.

“I saw your laser swords, only Jedi carry those.” He was a clever boy, and she smiled into her drink as she received another glance from Qui-Gon, who then tried to be clever.

“And what if we killed Jedi they belonged to?” Anakin gave the Jedi a scrunched-up expression of obvious disbelief. She suddenly felt a bit of familiarity with that situation, and those words that were similar to the way Kelle had tested her so long ago.

“You can’t kill a Jedi.” Her cup clacked on the table softly as she set it back down, her fingers resting over her lips just before she closed her eyes for a long second. She stayed silent as she felt Qui-Gon Jinn give her a look with sympathy in his eyes. She mourned silently. She mourned for all those she’d seen fall in the many battles over the years for a moment. Soon she turned her now present gaze to the boy called Anakin.

“I wish that were true.” Her junior Jedi’s words were soft as he leaned back in his chair, arms crossed over his chest in a silent show of defense.

“Unfortunately,” She started with a quietness that had Anakin and the others glancing over to her. “Jedi are just like you.” The boy’s eyes widened softly and she offered him a smile. “There is nothing that makes them invincible, Anakin.” His mouth opened as he looked back to Qui-Gon sharply.

“Sometimes I have dreams that I’m a Jedi.” Anakin let the words tumble out of his mouth quickly. She cut her eyes back over at the man she fondly thought of as her nephew. He returned her questioning gaze with his own, one that seemed to be more of an answer than another question. Her next point of focus was Padmé; and she noticed how engrossed in the conversation the young girl actually was.

“Sometimes I dream I’m a Jedi, and I come back to free all the slaves.” Another smile found her lips as she took a drink from her cup again. She let Qui-Gon take over the talking once more, for soon it turned to pod racing, and having reflexes as fast as a Jedi’s. She’d laughed shortly when the bearded man caught Jar-Jar’s tongue, telling the _Gungan_ not to do that again when he’d went for another apple. She’d let him take over as she passively listened to the conversation play out.

* * *

The day was hot when she’d watched the boy fiddle with bolts and tools. She crouched next to him in the shade of the pod racer, handing him the small wrench before he’d even reached for it. Placing herself in the sand, she brushed her knees off, and he soon sat up.

“You _are_ Jedi, aren’t you?” Anakin asked her with a small amount of skepticism. She’d simply smiled at the young boy as he handed her the wrench back. “You don’t talk much do you?” That time she laughed; laughed at both his expression and his words.

“Oh, no young man, I certainly like to talk.” She glanced around before winking at him. “It just doesn’t feel like it’s my place to speak. You understand?” Anakin tilted his head to the side, his eyes curious as they searched her freckles. He slid away from the pod racer to sit directly in front of her, hands in his lap as he mocked her sitting position.

“Where are you from?” It was her turn to study his face, his hair, and his eyes as she thought about the many questions he was bound to ask her in the future. She saw him as an adult, as a Jedi. She felt his power bubbling just under the surface, not yet awakened, and not for the first time, she felt a dusty sense of _déjà vu_ as she sat in front of the boy who somehow remined her of herself. Yet, there was also this moment of deep hesitation as she saw of what he _could_ become. She saw him there, hooded and red saber baring, as he stood in front of her, Seros whispering in her ears of the famous Jedi turned Sith, formerly known as Anakin Skywalker.

She cleared her throat.

“I’m from a planet on the southern bounds called _Kinai_.” Her voice was gentle as she explained.

“What’s it like?” He titled his head again; his healthy amount of curiosity had her giggling before she described her forests and lakes. She told the little boy about the grass and flowers and the sky. She told him about rain and her Jiji’s cabin. The more she talked, the more his expression changed from curiosity to wonder; and the more she missed her home. He then asked her again:

“So, you _are_ a Jedi, right?” She’d winked at him and stood, brushing sand off of her _nu-bakama_ pants.

It took her awhile to make it back to the royal ship that had no hyperdrive. She’d been taking her time, enjoying her quiet moment while it lasted. When she did climb back onto the ship, she went straight for a comfy seat to relax. She’d groaned softly as she dropped herself down in the lounge of the ship; the faux Queen watching her with an increasing interest.

“You there,” Here we go. She wanted nothing more than to ignore the fake, elected Queen of _Naboo_. “You are a _Kinainan_ aren’t you?” Despite herself, she answered, seeing Padmé gazing at her with just as much pure curiosity as the white painted body double next to her.

“Yes, Lady Queen.” She dropped her head back against the seat’s headrest, hoping it was over after she answered. “I am from _Kinai_.” She just wanted to rest her eyes. The Queen and her handmaidens all nodded, speaking amongst themselves for a moment before there was another question hurled in her direction. She cracked an eye open again.

“You look so young,” She knew where this was going. “Are you truly a Jedi?” Her head lulled to the side, causing her to directly stare at the gaggle of young women. It was true, she looked young, like she should still be a Padawan; but she’d crossed that bridge long ago when she’d been in her tenth _Kinainan_ year. Now she was in her seventeenth, and she assumed she could compare with humans who were in their late teens. She did look younger than Obi-Won, even while being so much older than he and his Master, Qui-Gon Jinn.

“You’ve seen my lightsaber.” Bad excuse since the Queen was asking if she was still a Padawan.

“A lightsaber can be wielded by anyone,” That irked at her anger. It irked her for she had dug those crystals out of _Ilums_ belly for her sabers. For she had become a Jedi long before this girl was even born. “It is the mastery of the Force, after years of practice that makes the Jedi Knight.” This faux Queen wasn’t incorrect, and she seemed to realize that she hadn’t used the Force around the young women. So, she fixed that.

There were chess pieces on the table between them; chess pieces she had only had to turn her hand up to command. They floated in the empty air of the ship, first, in scattered movements and places until she crooked her fingers and they lined themselves up largest to smallest. She then moved them into an order by power and moves distance as they orbited the cabin in a small circle. Placing the other pieces down, she moved only the Queen piece towards the woman that sat in _Naboo_ regalia, before it changed its path and fell into Padmé’s lap softly. Oh yes, she knew very well who the true Queen was.

She sat up, elbows resting on her knees and hands put together for a moment as she grinned at the gaggle.

“I am no Padawan, My Lady.” She started with a grin and nods towards Padmé, knowing who really asked the questions. Her fingers pulled at the thick garnet curls of her ponytail, the ones that she’d let grow out after her Knighting ceremony, mainly by the request of Seros. “I no longer bare that braid of status. I am Jedi as you are a Queen, and I have been, for more than a century.”

The wide-eyed expressions of the young women had been enough to make her smile once more as she stood from her seat. Padmé had been beaming, and she found herself liking this young Queen. She bowed, not curtsied, before she made her way back to the damaged hyperdrive to pester Obi-Wan Kenobi just a little bit.

* * *

She stood atop a tall stone, watching pod racers cut through the sand with hands shielding her eyes from the two suns overhead. She watched as they bumped and rubbed to secure a place. She watched as Anakin beat Watto, her voice rising into the sky along with the crowd. Watched as he earned his freedom and the parts they’d needed so desperately. She watched as he promised his mother to return, much like she had promised her Jiji.

She’d pat Anakin on the back, congratulating him on all he’d been able to accomplish, and at such a young age. The young boy grinned up at her, an amusing smile causing her own to return to her face. Her hand was rested on his shoulder when she felt it. Her grip had tightened on him when she felt the Sith upon the planet. It was soon when she was calling to Qui-Gon Jinn, telling him of what she felt, of what was to most-likely happen.

She had been partially correct, thinking that maybe the Sith somehow knew what they’d found on _Tatooine_ , but the red saber was there for Padmé. She’d had both Anakin and the Queen stand behind her, her fingers resting on her belt as she prepared for a fight that she didn’t know would come to her. She backed them towards the ship’s walkway, commanding them to get aboard it, _now_.

The duel between the long-haired Jedi and Darth Maul lasted all of two minutes before she yelled for her junior to disengage, for him to get onto the _kriffing_ ship. They didn’t have time for a full fledge lightsaber battle. Since she didn’t particularly want to step in, as fighting in the sand was horribly tiring, and her patience was already running thin in that heat. When Qui-Gon Jinn finally climbed past her, she threw her hand out towards the Sith. The Force prickled around her arm in a tantalizing way as Darth Maul was thrown into the dunes, far from the ship, his eyes wide as she over powered him with a simple motion. He obviously still had much to learn. She soon barked another command, telling them to begin lifting off the sands as she pulled the hatch of the ship closed with a curl of her fingers and the push of the Force.

* * *

She honestly never thought she would ever be so damned _pleased_ to see the city littered surface of _Coruscant_. Never ever did she think she would be this happy to stand in the Council room, listening Qui-Gon Jinn argue for Anakin’s sake. She stood with her arms crossed, her nephew in the Force by her side as he told them of what he felt from the boy. He beseeched them to understand, as they also saw the untapped Force potential in Anakin.

“Jedi Reddlen,” Her Masters voice had drug her out of her thoughts of absurd contentment. “This boy, of him, what do you think?” She raised her eyebrows as she looked at the little green Jedi that had patiently taught her for more than twenty years. Taught her during a time when she had been so unsure of everything, her Padawan braid with its beads holding her back. Though, even now, the beads still hung in her hair, fixed there by Seros and his slender fingers many moons ago.

“Anakin, is a good kid. He has amazing potential.” Was what she started with, and Qui-Gon glanced at her and then the Council of elder Jedi with a nod. “But,” She paused, the Force within her writhing and bubbling in warning with the darkness she had seen in the back of the boy’s mind. A darkness that she was unfortunately familiar with healing.

“But,” She began again. “He already has shadows within him. Things we as Jedi could never rid him of.” Her gaze flitted over to Qui-Gon Jinn who now stared at her with a falling expression. No matter how she personally felt about the boy, she had to tell them what she’d also sensed in his mind. “He would be a gamble of great proportions.”

* * *

Soon after deliberations that were left unsettled, the Queen called Padmé wished to return to _Naboo_.

She did not go with them; after all, she was not asked for. Maybe she should have gone anyway. If she’d gone with them, then she wouldn’t have been a part of Obi-Won Kenobi’s Knighting ceremony that evening. If she’d gone, she wouldn’t have to mourn Qui-Gon Jinn just yet. If, she’d gone. But she hadn’t, and her hatred for the planet of _Naboo_ grew a tiny bit more as she witnessed her Grand Master Yoda strip Obi-Won of his Padawan braid and accept Anakin Skywalker as his Padawan.

Seros carded his finger through her hair as she sat silently, her shoulders slumped as his hands fell to the middle of her back.

“Red,” He was soft spoken as she continued to stare at the wall of her apartments’ bedroom, since she’d long moved out of the dorms after becoming a Jedi. “Hey, look at me.” Seros’s fingers were gentle pressures under her chin as he turned her face back towards him ever so slightly. He soon shifted around her in, his knees causing the bed to dip before he settled in front of her. She gazed at him; her eyes watery as he reached up to wipe the tears away. Seros took her hands in his, kissing her knuckles as he never broke his eye contact with her, and she giggled at him in that broken sounding way.

“Hey, you know there was nothing you could have done.” He leaned down, his forehead pressing against hers like he’d done so many times in the past. “This isn’t your fault my little Red.” Her heart twisted in two different directions. One, because she knew this whole fiasco was, indeed, her fault; and two, the mirror room.

“I can’t help but feel like it is my fault.” She leaned up into him, their noses touching, and she felt him let out a shuddery breath against her lips.

“You know that’s not true.” Seros’s voice was but a whisper now. His hands let hers go, only for him to reach up with gentle fingers, and hold her face between his palms. He pulled his forehead from hers, his golden eyes searching her freckles for something hidden within the rusty spots. Seros’s thumb easily brushed some stray hairs out of her face, and she looked up at him, holding his hooded gaze in the back of her mind. He’d been giving her that kind of expression a lot lately. The one with hooded eyes with lips slightly parted as he usually watched her move about her bedroom. He’d been giving her that look ever since she’d exited her sixteenth Kinainan year, and entered into her seventeenth.

She didn’t really know what it meant, but she let it slide most of the time, not really sure if he knew he was doing it. Besides the eyes, she’d been feeling this strange emotion pulse through the string that bound them together. It made her chest tighten and a heat prickle at the back of her neck. Whatever it was, she was sure he didn’t know that he sent it to her in waves upon waves. Even now, he was doing it.

She could feel the heat dance along her neck as he placed a chaste kiss to her forehead, mumbling sweet words into her skin.


	8. 32 BBY - 27 BBY

**32 BBY**

“Master Zamora.” She’d heard this tone of voice before. “Master Zamora.” This time the words were spoken with more conviction; though, she could still hear their unsure undertone.

“Yes, Obi-Wan,” She glanced up at the young Jedi, the one that now had a bit of stubble on his chin. “I heard you the first time.” He seemed a bit sheepish for a moment. As he opened his mouth only to close it.

“Right,” He tugged his sleeve softly, glancing around them for a moment. “May I sit with you?” She shut her book with a smile as she easily offered him the chair across from her with a single hand movement. Obi-Wan seemed a bit nervous when he set himself in the chair at the table next to the window. For a split second, she could have sworn it was Qui-Gon Jinn in that chair once more, asking her to go on another hairbrained mission. Yet, she knew it wasn’t.

“What can I help you with Obi-Wan Kenobi?” She leaned her elbows on the table, her chin resting on her hands as she studied him. He shifted a bit, before he blurted.

“I have no idea what the _kriff_ I’m doing.” His hand wiped his face harshly as he groaned. She raised her eyebrows at that, a small laugh on her lips as he looked at her sheepishly through his fingers again.

“Well, what are you doing?”

“I mean with Anakin.” His hand dropped back to the table. “I’m his Master, but everything feels awkward and strained.” He paused, his fingers tapping on the tables wooden surface in show of a nervous tick.

“I don’t ever remember it being this difficult when Qui-Gon was my Master.” She reached over and patted his hand for a moment, a smile on her face as he quieted. He stared at her.

“That’s because Qui-Gon Jinn _chose_ to train you.” His face contorted in confusion, and she felt her lips quirk up again. “You remember your Padawan choosing, don’t you?” Obi-Wan Kenobi nodded, his hands now laying flat on the table as he watched her.

“Then you know that all the other Masters have chosen the Padawan they wish to work with.” She leaned back into her seat, it creaking under her weight shift again. “That they used the Force to find their student. Just like what Qui-Gon did for you, and his Master Dooku did for him, and our Master did for us.” She grinned at him and stood, picking up the book she’d been reading so that she could put it back in its place on the shelf.

“I’m confused.” Obi-Wan turned in his seat to watch her. “You’re saying that because I didn’t choose Anakin, things will be harder?” She turned on him quickly, her fingers snapping and a sure smile on her lips.

“Precisely!” His face fell, and her feet carried her back to the younger Jedi, she placed her hands on his shoulders. “You’ve had the difficult task of raising Anakin thrusted onto your shoulders, you will have to work for trust harder than the others. There is no doubt it will be difficult, but you will grow close like you were with your Master” She ruffled his hair that was starting to lengthen after his first few months of Knighthood. A smile was what she gave him then, her hands patting his shoulders once more.

It was quiet in the library again as she turned to adjust the books along the shelf behind her.

“Out of all the Jedi here, why did you ask me? I’ve never had a Padawan.” She glanced over her shoulder at the young man that was now staring out of the window.

“Besides the fact that you were there when he found Anakin?” Obi-Wan turned his face towards her and she nodded in reply. “He told me that if I ever needed help, and he was no longer here, to ask you.” Her hands gripped the shelving, and she sighed. Why was this becoming a trend? She was quiet for a long moment.

“I’m sorry I didn’t go with you.” She could feel is gaze turn questioning on her back. “Back to _Naboo_ , I mean. Maybe I could have helped. Helped prevented his death, and you wouldn’t be in this situation. Anakin would be your brother rather than your student.” She heard his chair scrape on the floor as he stood sharply.

“It’s no one’s fault but Darth Mauls, Master Zamora.” She tilted her head to the side, still not facing him. A small laugh left her next as her fingers stilled along a book’s spine.

“You humans are amazing. You heal, and move on so quickly.”

“Those six months were not quick, it was agonizing, not being able to talk with him. Not being able to ask him what the _kriff_ I’ve been doing wrong.” She laughed again, this time with more amusement than brokenness.

“You’ve said _kriff_ twice now, Obi-Wan Kenobi.” He ignored her.

“I know you thought of him as family, as a nephew even, but there’s nothing we could have done for him. It was his time, as it was the will of the Force.” She turned to lean her back on the bookshelf, her arms crossed over her chest.

“Now that you’re a Jedi Knight, are you going to spout deep wisdom like this from now on?” She’d cracked a smile at him, and his serious face broke into one of laughter. Obi-Won groaned, his hand combing through his hair before he pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Agh, it kind of hurt actually.” She really laughed at that, her sides tightening at the young man’s words. After a few moments, they managed to calm down and she wiped her eyes of the tears that had sprang up there.

“If you ever need help, please let me know, Master Obi-Wan Kenobi.”

* * *

**27 BBY**

She’d been meditating for most of the day, and she could feel the star of _Coruscant_ begin its descent downward with the point of heat moving on her skin. Her arms had gotten so much stronger from the many times she’d held herself up for this long on the edge of a building; letting the world float around her as she connected with the Force completely. Kelle’s Kyber crystal, that hung on her Jiji’s prayer beads, rested with gentle warmth against her cheek.

She sensed them before she could hear them. Her mind’s eye could see their inner lights, both blue and soft against the darkness of the in between. Obi-Won’s was darker in color; its hue turning almost purple as he walked with Anakin’s periwinkle to his right. His color that almost turned white around its edge. She could hear them next, a small argument as they came to stop behind her.

“What, is she doing?” Came Anakin’s skeptical, fifteen-year-old voice from behind her. She shifted her weight onto one hand, her feet parting to help her hold her balance.

“Meditating.” Was her simple reply. What else should she tell him? That she saw him trip up on the staircase up here? Cause she had.

“On your hands? What the _kriff_ -” There was the righteous sound of Obi-Wan Kenobi’s hand connecting with the back of Anakin Skywalkers head. The Padawan groaned. “Ow, what was that for Master?”

“Be respectful Anakin,” She could see the bite in the younger Jedi’s eyes, even while she faced away and held herself upside down. “She’s a high-ranking Jedi.”

“Yeah, I remember.” Anakin grumbled softly. She smiled and opened her eyes, the world coming back to her in bright colors that had her blinking a couple of times just to try and readjust her vision. She placed her other hand back to the building’s ledge, balancing herself out as she straightened her legs once more. Soon she took a deep breath and titled her legs back towards the two behind her. When the balls of her feet hit the metal of the roof, she pushed up with her hands. She came up into a standing position easily.

She smoothed her ruby _qipao_ back out; her fingers readjusting its collar before they found the Kyber around her neck. She gave the stone a quick squeeze before she started towards the boys.

“What’s up guys?” She’d said with a smile and a wave, receiving a confused look from both of them, and Anakin elbowed his Master.

“Definitely a senior Jedi alright.” There was another smack to the back of Anakin’s head, but she could see the amusement in the eyes of Obi-Wan as Anakin rubbed his short hair roughly.

“You know, that doesn’t hurt as much as you think it does, Master.” The Padawan was trying to be smug.

“Then quit acting like it.” Came his Master’s reply. A giggle left her, and she found she that she had begun to love Obi-Wan Kenobi even more with every passing day. She thought he was hilarious, and she wasn’t sure he knew it. She beckoned them with a hand motion as she paced past them.

“Come on then you two, lets go get some Force training in.” Anakin groaned once more; his despair of the following training well founded after all.

When they made it to the training fields, she took a deep breath in, letting memories of Kelle Aldan flood her mind as she watched the two discard their over robes. She waited for them in the center, her arms crossed over her chest like the fond memory of Kelle did behind her. She’d challenged Obi-Won first.

They sank into a stance, legs apart and a single hand facing out and towards their opponent. She’d played this game with Dooku many times when he was still a Padawan. She found it was similar to wrestling; just with them never touching and using only the Force to push the other off of their feet. Her Force manipulation was strong, but she didn’t always win. There were many times she’d slipped up.

On this day though, and with her fresh out of a mediation cycle, she won every game, and as the star finally set, she’d been facing Anakin. He was getting better, even if Obi-Wan beat him most of the time, he was still getting better rather than getting lucky.

“Damn!” Anakin yelled as he fell back onto the field’s dirt. “I almost had you that time!” He pointed at her, and he had been right. He’d seen the small opening in her defense, and he’d taken it. She’d cut him off easily, not ready to lose to him or his Master just yet, but he was getting good at navigating within the Force.

“Yeah, you’re getting good kid.” The Padawan grinned at her with that amusing smile that always caused her own to return to her face. She glanced out of the window as Obi-Wan helped his student back into a standing position. “It’s well past dark.” She mumbled and Anakin nodded, sinking into a stance again. He may have always complained, but he loved this game.

“You can go ahead and head back, Anakin.” Obi-Wan Kenobi’s voice was quiet against the false lights of the training field. The Padawan pouted for a moment before she conceded with her junior Jedi. When Anakin had finally left the fields without a word, she looked over to Obi-Won.

“You rarely send him back first, what’s going on?”

“You’ve heard of this next mission to _Dantoonie_ , correct?”

* * *

She’d managed to get Seros to dance with her. He’d never been up for it before, with him coming to her in the dark, bleeding and bruised. But now that he was less of a boy and more of a man, he came to her whole more often than not. And so, she had persuaded him to dance with her. The furniture in her apartments lounge was pushed towards the walls so that they had as much room as possible to be stupid.

She loved to dance, to twirl and bow. She found she loved to dance even more with a partner, his hands holding her up when she’d thought she was to fall. Even if he wasn’t really there with her, it was close enough when he picked her up and set her down, their hands pressed together as they circled one another. Their feet were quiet as they moved over the floor, being careful not to draw attention from anyone on the outside.

He’d gotten the dance she had been teaching him down, the one she’d seen so many times in the village of _Lemui_ during festivals. So, it was nothing when he reached for her, when he gently spun her until her back landed against his chest. It was nothing but innocent fun until his fingers traced the underside of outstretched arms, his lips speaking close to her ear, and she suddenly felt that emotion slide through the string connecting them. Her neck pricked and heated, but this time, so did her chest. She’d hardcore panicked.

She doesn’t remember what he murmured to her, only that about halfway through him speaking, she threw him out of her mind by mistake. She hadn’t meant to; but when he was gone, and she was left in the middle of her lounge by herself, she’d found that she felt a bit relieved. For the next few hours, she felt Seros push at the wall she’d accidently thrown up while she readjusted her furniture. But when she began to fall asleep that night, she felt his back pressed against hers, an apology whispered in the dark.

She forgave him, for whatever he did.

* * *

Their jump through hyperspace wasn’t as agonizing as she thought it would be.

Anakin had been buzzing annoyingly about the cabin of the small transport ship. Obi-Wan Kenobi had scolded him, telling him that he needed to sit down and center himself, for this battle was not going to be easy. She had to get up and leave the two, needing to get away from the gentle argumentation between Master and Padawan. So she hovered in the cockpit, her eyes watching the piolts work.

She’d been doing this for a couple years now, studying the controls of the ship and learning how to piolet from just watching it be done. Things were a lot simpler than they seemed in the captain’s chair; and even though the console of the ship was full of lights and levers, it was truly quite easy. She was pretty confident in her ability to take off, fly, and land a starship now. She just never found the time to try.

Hyperspace was just a blue blur that melded around their ship as she continued to stare out of the front windshield. Obi-Wan came up behind her, his gaze hovering over her shoulder as they both looked ahead.

“Did you get him to calm down?” She flicked her eyes over at her junior Jedi, amusement obvious in her voice.

“Just barely.” He stroked the beard he’d finally grown. “He’s excited, it’s his first real battle after all.” She nodded and rolled her shoulders back.

“We’ll be there soon. How many transport ships did they send again?”

“Three.” He’d replied to her, and she hummed in consideration.

“That should be enough to face this unknown Sith and their army.” She glanced over at Obi-Wan again, a small smile on her face. She opened her mouth and he cut her off.

“Before you ask, yes, Anakin is more than ready for this fight.” She snorted and grinned again.

“You’re doing the Jedi wisdom thing again.”

“Shut up.” Another laugh left her as he grinned under his mustache.

They landed on the surface of _Dantoonie_ , and she gave the order for the other three ships to keep their hatches closed and their people safe. She didn’t want the soldiers they’d brought with them charging out into terrain that was possibly dangerous and very unknown to them. The hatch of her own ship opened after she’d asked for it.

Obi-Wan stood in the middle of them, Anakin to his right. The young boy was still bouncing when the darkness of the planet’s night greeted them. She could see empty fields upon, empty fields, upon super empty fields. This was a planet of farms and peace; what the hell were the Sith doing here?

She began to take a step off of the ship and she could hear Anakin attempt to follow her down, Obi-Wan Kenobi stopping his Padawan with a single hand.

“Don’t move yet.” He hissed at his student as he tried to remain quiet. “Things need to be assessed first.”

“We’re not going to help her?”

“Trust me, the job she’s performing takes only one person.”

Her toes dug into the dirt of the field they’d landed in; and the coolness and smell of the soil reminded her of Jiji’s garden on _Kinai_. She glanced about her, not really seeing much other than the faint light of a far away settlement. Taking a deep breath in, she closed her eyes, letting the terrain of the planet build around her in the dark of the in between. The inner color of this planet pulsed a gentle purple, while _Coruscants_ had always been a blinding orange. She took another breath in, her mind reaching past the area directly about her, and into the places eyes could not see.

She let out her breath when she found them, charging over hills and fields, droids and ships that were so much closer than she thought they’d be. Her body turned back sharply, and she gave Obi-Won a look.

“Prepare yourselves!” She yelled in the chilly air, and Obi-Wan Kenobi shouted an order to the other ships. Their hatches lowered and their soldiers poured into the fields. Her two juniors were beside her again, blue lightsabers now held at the ready. “They’re just over the hill!” She warned the whole party.

“Can you knock the first line back?” She glanced over at Obi-Won, her brows furrowed as she had been reaching for her sabers.

“The whole first line?” She’d questioned him and his beard.

“Yes,” He paused, his eyes flicking over to hers. “Can you do it?”

“ _Kriff_ no, there’s way too many. They’re all moving too much anyway.”

“How many are there then?” Rolling her wrists, she licked her lips and took another calming breath into her lungs. How many were there? She had an answer.

“About a thousand.” She heard Obi-Wan Kenobi curse in a very un-Jedi way and Anakin looked _thrilled._

Droids surged over the hill in waves, blasters firing. Her teeth grit as she slid into a stance, her hands curling back to pop the covers off of her lightsabers. Pulling them from their sheathes, she ignited them, and that night she had followed Obi-Wan and Anakin into battle.

She was so engrossed in the battle at hand. So engrossed in the way her gold and green sliced through blasters and machine alike. She’d gathered her Force around her, discharging it in a circular blast to knock those enemies closest to her away as she charged. She flicked her wrist at others, throwing them away as she sliced through the droids blocking her path forwards. To her sides, she could feel Obi-Won Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker fighting with just as much ferocity as she could muster. It was when she tossed a couple more droids back against others that she’d felt it.

All air left her as she stumbled back, Obi-Wan slicing the enemies that had been advancing on her. She thanked him, and he asked her if she was alright when she wiped dirt off of her face with her wrist.

“Yeah,” She swallowed harshly. “It’s just,” Her words trailed off as she glanced towards the source of the power surge. The one that was hidden amongst the battle, and he nodded to her.

“This Sith’s power is unknown to me as well.” The junior Jedi glanced back across the field. “Let’s hope this will be over soon.”

He left her then. Left her to go back into the fray; most likely to also check on Anakin as she also went back to it, shaking herself awake with a slice through another enemy. It wasn’t until she’d broken through the droid line that she saw him there rather than just felt him. His pale hair was dirtied with mud and it stuck to his face as he sliced through her soldiers. She just stood there amongst the fighting, frozen in place as she watched Seros twirl that blood red saber about him. He looked, terrifying.

_Kriff._

Oh, oh _kriff._

He turned on her, his eyes managing to find hers in the middle of it all. Seros’s shoulders tightened under his black clothing, his battle stance wavering. Those who had been fighting him retreated upon her arrival, knowing she’d take care of the threat he posed.

She watched as he disengaged his lightsaber, and it fell to his side as he began stepping towards her. Then he was running at her in a way that was all but threatening. There was no hatred on his face, no anger, only relief as she watched him bound towards her and around those who got in his way. He was getting closer, but when he’d gotten too close, Anakin Skywalker streaked past her.

The Padawan’s blue saber was held high as he struck at the _Sedkain_ , requiring Seros to brandish his bled lasers word to block those rash actions of Anakin’s. She stood there for a long moment before she realized what she was letting happen. She was letting Anakin, _fight_ Seros. Her feet moved before her mind caught up. She put her green away, using that hand to grab onto the back of the Padawan’s robes.

She dragged him back before she hurled him away. And now, she stood between them, her back wholly facing the Sith she’d known forever. The fighting between them stilled as she intervened.

“Rashness will get you _nowhere_ Anakin!” She snarled at him. He was panting heavily, and when he opened his mouth to retort, she flicked her wrist at him harshly. Anakin couldn’t help it as he slid backwards in the dirt for more than a few feet. “Go!”

The Padawan hesitated before he turned and ran back into the battle. She made sure he’d gone before her gaze shifted over her shoulder, and to the _Sedkain_ boy she watched grow into a man. His saber had been disengaged once more, and she held only the gold in her right. Seros looked soft to _her_ , but his face and hair smeared with dirt, and what looked like blood, told a different story of how the others probably saw him.

She knew what he was; she’d known what he was for a very long time. Yet, it was no less difficult to see him on that field dressed in the dark clothes of her enemy. He was the unknown Sith, the one they came here to destroy.

She could feel his conflicting emotions sputter through the string connecting them, coming in harsh waves that rocked her to her soul. They’d been close before, the same galaxy, neighboring planets; but this was the first time she’d seen him with her own eyes. The first time he didn’t appear to her as a simi-warm shadow of himself, no this was him. This was her Seros.

The battle raged around them, and he approached her with the slowness of someone approaching a wounded animal.

“Red,” He exhaled when she’d stopped him from getting any closer with a simple held-up hand. “Red. Hey, look at me.” Seros came at her with the same voice he always had, the same smoothness washing away her worries.

“No, you look at _me_ Seros. Look at us.” She motioned her left hand in a circle. “Look at _this_.”

She could feel her face scrunch up, anger boiling through her, and she actually saw him flinch from her shared emotions. A deep breath, one, two. She’d held her saber at him and he stepped back, hurt washing all over his face.

“What are you doing?” He’d asked her. Tears stung her eyes as she charged at him with a single saber, knowing her green wouldn’t work with, not with all her self-doubt. Seros brandished his bled lightsaber again, blocking her with just enough effort to fend her off. “I don’t want to fight you!” He’d yelled at her as she spun from his attack.

She felt more tears welled up in her vision as she tried to think of the horrible things he’d done in front of her, and the things he’d probably done without her knowledge. Anything that would get her ready to fight him, but she knew she couldn’t hurt him; and at this point, she was just trying to make this as real as possible. He was aware of her thoughts. Aware as his face changed from worry and confusion to that of a mirrored battle partener. It wasn’t until she’d hopped back, and a hand grabbed her shoulder that she put her weapon down. It wasn’t until Obi-Wan and Anakin stood alongside of her that she told Seros to run with all of her emotions flooding their bond.

The _Sedkain_ stared her in the eyes, smirked as he bowed and then ran.

She damn near collapsed to the ground, her gold lightsaber disengaging as the Jedi and his Padawan caught her.


	9. 27 BBY - 19 BBY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I have estimated about 14 chapters for Reddlens story?  
> Maybe only 13...
> 
> We'll see.
> 
> Enjoy, and thank you for reading!

**27 BBY**

She’d waited for Seros to come to come to her a few nights after their battle. After she had dealt with herself and finally tore the wall that she’d put up, down. She waited on her bed; legs crossed. Waited for him to appear in front of her, and when he did, his head was low.

“Reddlen, I” She held her hand up, and he nodded, his eyes closing as he had seemed to already have accepted his fate. It seemed she hadn’t been the only one thinking on themselves for the past few days. She stared at him, her eyes studying the bruising under his eye, and the cut that split his lips. She studied the bloodiness of his knuckles, and the way he breathed a little weird. When she began to get off the bed, he looked up at her.

She took his hands in her face, like she’d always done. She kissed his eyelids, and then his cheek as she healed the discolored abrasion. Her hands dropped to wind her fingers with his as she lifted his split knuckles to her lips. He watched her as she pressed her palm to his ribs, the feeling of her Force rushing through his clothing and into his skin. She ghosted a set of fingers over his lips next, remembering the first time she’d healed him that night in her bedroom on _Kinai_.

His hand held hers tighter, and he pressed his forehead into hers, halting her actions before she could find more things wrong with him to fix. She felt his breathing become unsteady again as he stared at her, and her free hand came up to press gentle pressure on his grey tinted chin.

“Red, I.” He cut himself off this time, and he continued to look into her eyes, his gold only steadily getting heavier every moment she held his gaze. A pitiful laugh left him when he shut his eyes tightly. “I don’t know what to say.” She gingerly shushed him with a finger before she stood up on her tip toes and wrapped her arms around the back of his neck. His hands instantly griping at the back of her _qipao_ in a desperate manner.

“Then shut up.” She murmured against the side of his hair. They stood like that for a long moment, wrapped around each other like they were children in the dark again. When she pulled away from his embrace a little, she wiped his cheeks of tears he hadn’t cried in decades.

“You don’t hate me?” He’d asked her that before, but when she found out he was _Sedkain_ , not Sith. His words seemed a little heavier this time. She didn’t answer for a moment and his grip on her clothing only tightened as he stared at her. She could feel his fear scorch through her veins.

“Of course not.” She’d grumbled at him, a whoosh of air escaping his body. She hadn’t even known he was holding a breath in. Taking both of his hands in hers again, she led him to the bed where she told him to sit and wait. She came back from the bathroom with a cold rag that she pressed to his face, his eyes and lips, attempting to get him to calm down. When she’d held the rag over his eyes, he gently grabbed her wrist with his slender fingers.

“Why are you so kind to me? Even after you know what I am?” She pressed the rag back to his lips with a sigh, hoping to shut him up. That was a good question, one that needed an answer she didn’t quite have yet.

“I don’t think anyone is ever completely gone, Seros.” She slid the cold cloth over both his cheeks, and he’d finally relaxed, his white freckles glowing against his skin once more. “And I know you’re not. You would have stopped coming to me if you were, you would have cut me down a few days ago.” He sniffled in a very unbecoming way, and she’d laughed at him quietly.

“How long have you known?” He mumbled.

“Long enough.” She paused. “Why didn’t you tell me?” There was a pitch of agitation in her voice as she smoothed some of his pale hair off of his forehead

“I didn’t know what to say.” Seros drug a hand through his hair, his other fingers still holding her wrist with the rag. “How was I supposed to tell a Jedi? Especially when I’m only myself when I’m with you.” He explained, his voice softening with every word.

“Every other time, you are purely a Sith?” She’d questioned with a raised eyebrow, knowing it wasn’t true. He’d cringed.

“I,” He groaned and dropped his head to her shoulder. She placed the cool rag on the back of his neck before her hands were taken in his once more. “I don’t know. I can’t think around them.” There was a bitterness hidden within his words.

“Everything in my head is muddled and violent. But when I’m with you, everything seems, calmer.”

She knew how that felt. Everything in her was always so much calmer with him around her, with his hands touching her skin. She didn’t feel so alone that way, knowing that there was someone out there just like her. Someone who needed her.

“You still should have told me.” She mumbled into his hair again. He sat up sharply then, his face scrunched in agitation.

“Well why didn’t you tell me you were Jedi?”

“That’s different Seros.” She sat up straighter, chin tilted up.

“Different?” He growled at her. “How is that any different?” His fingers let go of hers, and he actually leaned away. Her hands flew up in the air separating them.

“It’s different because I don’t kill people!” His face contorted more, anger causing lines in his skin. He opened his mouth, but her own face hardened, and her hands came down on the bed between them harshly. She pulled herself forward, leaning up towards his face with a hiss.

“Because when the Jedi came to take me away,” She paused, searching gold eyes that were widening under her ferocity. “You. Were. _Afraid_.” Seros swallowed, and she saw the way his throat bobbed.

“You didn’t want me to be like you.” She reached up to press her thumb into his chin, and a softness tumbled over her and her voice . “You don’t have to be like this. We don’t have to do this.” He cut his eyes away from hers, an expression on his face that was almost unreadable. Her hand flattened out along his cheek before she swiped her thumb under his eye.

“I’m sorry.” He mumbled softly when her thumb moved over his lips. “But I can’t leave. I am what I am, and there is nothing I can change about it.” A self-deprecating laugh started at the back of his throat and fell out of his mouth.

“They have me in their hands, Red.” He glanced back up at her eyes, a fondness for her filling them and spilling over into her mind. His fingers wound around her wrist again, and he held her fingertips to his lips. “I tried to escape once, to find a cruiser and get the hell out of there. I tried to come find you, but they caught me.” She could feel his hurt, feel his pain in the pit of her stomach the more he spoke.

“It was bad. It was _so_ bad.” Seros’s other hand came up to hold her face gently as his forehead bumped her once more. “They’d broken my bones and ripped through my mind. I tried so hard to keep you out of it. Tried so hard to keep you hidden in the back of my mind.” He’d hesitated, his fingers trialing down her face softly as if he were trying to remember how she felt. She remembered that night, his ribs broken and his breathing so labored. She remembered the amount of focus she had to use just to heal him and scare off the shadows. She also remembered getting a small lecture from her little green Master.

“I tried to keep the Reddlen curled up in the back of my mind safe as they looked for you, the person who healed me after every beating and returned me brighter than when I left.” His eyes had slid shut, fingers hooking around the back of her neck softly as he held their foreheads together. “After a while, I just stopped fighting them. Everything was easier when I became detached, and suddenly they were congratulating me rather than trying to tear me apart.”

“Seros,” Her hands had hung from his arms before she mocked his position, her fingers held at the back of his neck as she breathed him in. “Seros you can come with me. You can be a Jedi, with me.” His laugh was hollow against her face.

“A Jedi?” She nodded softly, well, as much as she could with their faces touching like they were. “Red, I can’t be a Jedi. Not with,” He paused, trying to find the correct words as he stared at her with increasing intensity.

“Not with,” Seros attempted to start again with a deep inhale. “Everything.” This time, when he spoke, his voice was breathless, and she suddenly felt her skin heat under his touch at implications she wasn’t sure he’d meant to imply. She couldn’t do much more than stare into his eyes with the strange emotions he’d stirred circling through her, and for a moment, he just watched her as well, feeling everything she had to offer him.

“Red,” He had begun whispering to her then. “I love you; you know?”

“Yeah, I know.” She mumbled into the space between them. His eyes searched hers for a moment.

“Do you love me?”

“Of course,” Her faced scrunched at his stupid question. “You’re my best friend Seros, why wouldn’t I love you?” His lips quirked up at that.

“That’s not what I meant.” Now she had been really confused. “I love you, Reddlen.”

Oh.

_Oh._

_Kriff_ she was an idiot. A blind _kriffin’_ idiot. Of course he couldn’t be Jedi with her, he _loved_ her. Jedi cannot love.

She opened her mouth to reply, but she had nothing to give him in return. She didn’t know how to feel, and he could sense it within her mind. He smiled at her. He smiled one of those grins that made her thoughts get real still and her body relax. She realized, he made her comfortable, even when she wasn’t.

“You don’t have to say anything.” Seros placed a kiss on her nose, then her cheek. “Not now, not ever.” It was when his lips barely brushed over hers that he spoke again.

“I love you, but you can’t love me.” He looked her in the eyes with that heavy gold. “I need you to be Jedi and save everything from people like me.” She didn’t move until she noticed his form had begun to fade; not until she could see her fingers through his skin.

“Seros.” She’d said heavily, grabbing at him again. Panic ripped through her.

“Be safe for me okay?” He smiled at her; his forehead pressed to hers one last time.

“Seros, no.” Her hands began to slip through him. “Seros. Don’t you _dare_ do this.”

“Seros!” She was grasping at air where he’d been sitting. Her frustrations grew, and she closed her eyes, searching for him in the back of her mind. It’s just, he hadn’t been there. There was no wall between them, no invisible barrier keeping her out. She simply couldn’t feel him. She couldn’t feel anything that hinted at where he’d gone; he was just, _gone_. The string that pulled from her chest was still there. He hadn’t severed her attachment to him, as she saw it trail out into the abyss somewhere. He just held her out, and she couldn’t see him.

Tears streaked down her cheeks as a coldness wrapped around her heart in a manner she’d only felt one other time in her life. She was alone, truly alone in her own mind now. A silent cry tore from her chest as she wrapped her arms around herself, shaking.

She swore she’d find him.

Swore she’d whip his ass for leaving her as long as he did.

* * *

**19 BBY**

Senator Padmé stood on the balcony, hands folded on the railing in front of her in delicate manner. The Queen was no longer a child, she noticed. The more she looked at the young woman’s back, the more she noticed things about her that hadn’t been there before. This woman was glowing in a way she’d never seen before.

Padmé beckoned her guard over.

“Master Zamora,” The Queen began softly. “Do you ever think about having a family one day?” Brown eyes turned to look at her, and she was shocked. She had no idea how to answer.

A family? Had she ever thought about a family? She’d honestly thought she’d spend the rest of her long life as a Jedi, serving the greater good and the innocent. Did she even want to think about a family?

“I cannot have a family, Lady Queen.” She breathed out after a long moment under the woman’s surprisingly heavy gaze. “I am a Jedi.” The Senator giggled at her, the young woman’s fingers gently touching her stomach with a sense of fondness and delicacy. She could sense the life that had grown in Padmé, sensed the life that she could not understand. A family.

“Hypothetically,” Padmé began again, glancing down to watch her fingers. “If you were to have a child, would you want a boy, or a girl?” The conversation had trailed into dangerous territory she noticed, but she humored the Queen.

“A boy.” She’d said quickly, like she _had_ been thinking about it. Maybe she had? She knew Seros probably did. She flinched, feeling the cold spot in her chest grow as she ached for him. “I would want a son.” She finished softly, and Padmé grinned up at her.

“What would you name him?” Questions had become quiet, and so she’d paused.

“A name?” She raised an eyebrow at the Queen. “For my hypothetical son?” Padmé giggled at her again before she’d received a nod.

“Yes, for your hypothetical son.” The young woman laughed at her with another smile.

“Kelle.” She finally said after a long moment of deliberation. “I would name my son Kelle.”

* * *

She had been screeching through the halls on _Coruscant_. Tearing through, trying to sense any life in the Temple of Jedi. There was nothing, and there was no one. She had no idea, and a very well-formed idea of what’d happened there.

She could sense the faint strings of her Master’s Force signature, and some of Obi-Wan Kenobi’s as well. She could hear the words that had been spoken, the ones that now echoed in the room around her.

Anakin had fallen.

Her teeth grit as she panted through the halls.

She should have been here instead of out on an unnecessary mission. She should have acknowledged what was bound to happen with him, but she hoped he would be different than her visions of him on _Tatooine_. Hoped he would prove both her, and her Master wrong. That he would make the spirit of Qui-Gon Jinn proud of the Jedi he’d become under the watchful eyes of Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Obi-Wan.

_Kriff._

Where was Obi-Wan? He was no longer on _Coruscant_ , neither was Padmé. She cursed to herself, sprinting back through the halls, managing to stuff the few well-founded treasures she had from her room into a shoulder bag. After sneaking to the hangar, she found a ship she could pilot away from the city planet. She’d felt sad, for a moment as she fired up the small transport ship, but she had to get off the planet she’d just arrived back on. There were Sith crawling through the buildings she’d roamed for so long, and Kelle’s crystal around her neck pulsed with small amounts of heat.

Where was Obi-Wan?

Her Master?

It wasn’t long until she found Obi-Wan. She’d found him on _Polis Massa_ , his mind an utter mess. She’d found him with two babies, and no mother in sight. Padmé had died while giving birth, and these were her children, he’d said to her when she arrived. He’d gingerly handed her the baby boy after he told her of the battle with his former apprentice, and she’d healed his abrasions from _Mustafar_.

“This is Luke.” She repeated the babies name after Obi-Wan told her. Her finger had been clutched in his tiny hand as she held him close to her. “And this one,” He stood close to her, holding a little girl in his arms. “This is Leia.”

“Twins.” She’d mumbled before glancing up into Obi-Wan’s sad gaze. “A Prince and a Princess.” It was quiet for a long moment as the younger Jedi nodded.

“Does Anakin know?”

“Vader.” He’d corrected, and she snorted.

“He will always be Anakin Skywalker of _Tatooine_ to me.” Her face scrunched with worry for her friend. “Will you be okay?” Her junior sucked in a harsh breath before he spoke.

“We must hide them.” It was her turn to nod now, as her eyes had shifted back on the small face of Luke. “The boy will go back to _Tatooine_ to be raised by his Uncle and Aunt.” Obi-Wan explained.

“And the Leia?” He opened him mouth, only to close it.

“I don’t know yet.”

“ _Alderaan_.” She said quickly.

“What?” He glanced down at the little girl in his arms before looking back up at her. “Why _Alderaan_?”

“The King and Queen of that world want children, but they can’t have any.” She wiggled her finger in Luke’s grasp, already fond of the child.

“Would they take such a risk?”

“A parent would take any risk for their children.” She’d whispered up at him.


	10. 19 BBY - 3 ABY

**19 BBY**

Obi-Wan took Luke to _Tatooine_ not long after she’d arrived on _Polis Massa_. She’d stood watching his ship leave, Princess Leia in her arms this time.

Before they had decided to part ways once more, she’d hugged Obi-Wan Kenobi. She’d wrapped her arms around him and whispered the blessings of her people over both him, and baby Luke. She had held his hands in hers, and gently bumped their foreheads like she’d done for her Jiji on _Kinai_ the day she’d left. She told him to be safe, to not do anything stupid without her. He’d smiled, but only briefly.

She stood with Leia in her arms, giving a small wave to the ship that lifted off of the asteroids surface. Her grasp tightened around the little girl that had been entrusted to her, and she gently waved Leia’s little hand at the ship that carried her twin brother away from her. She didn’t know if the two would ever meet again.

“Come on little Princess, it’s about time we got you to _Alderaan_.” She’d spoken to the little girl with such a fondness, she pondered if maybe she did want to be a mother one day like Queen Padmé had asked. It was a possibility, but one she was not ready to think about seriously yet.

* * *

**9 BBY**

She’d stayed on _Alderaan_ for at least a standard decade. She stayed and watched over the growing Princess from the shadows within the palace, grinning as she watched the girl learn the tradition of braiding.

Many nights, she’d sat up high on the sleek buildings, feeling the wind of that world on her face. She thought about _Kinai_ a lot; a lot more in those ten years than in the two hundred plus she’d spent on _Coruscant_. She sat there many times in the dark of _Alderaan’s_ night with her planet’s eerie blue hologram in her hands. It occurred to her, every night, that she could go home. She could go home whenever she wanted. All she needed was ship, and she’d had her eye on one of those new X-Wings.

Yet, she stayed. She ignored her feelings, her desires as she watched over the Princess. It wasn’t until Leia turned ten, that she could leave. She honored her duty as a Jedi, knowing Obi-Wan was across the universe doing the same thing.

She’d played with the beads in her hair; the ones Seros had tied there a long time ago. Besides her home planet, she thought about her friends, her Master. She thought of her Kelle Aldan, of her Master Yoda. She thought of a younger Dooku and his apprentice Qui-Gon Jinn. Her mind wondered towards Obi-Wan Kenobi and Queen Padmé Amidala. She often thought about Anakin Skywalker, seeing both him and his wife in the little girl she watched over.

When Leia turned ten, she paid her respects to not only the Queen and King of _Alderaan_ , but also the little Princess. She’d bowed, her head low as they thanked her for her service.

She’d found Master Yoda pretty quickly after she left _Alderaan_ , and she’d easily landed her granted X-Wing on the swampy planet he’d hidden himself on. When she popped the cockpit of the starship open, she recoiled from just the sheer humidity. Even her breathing was heavy until she’d gotten used to the air laced with what she hoped was water.

She found her Master in a little hut in the middle of a solid bit of land, a good little hump from where she’d landed the X-Wing. He was waiting for her at the door of his hut, his small hands rested on a little wooden staff. She’d dropped to her knees in front of him, as he set his cane aside and took her hands in his. Their foreheads were pressed together for a long moment before she pulled away.

“Late you are.” Her hands dropped to her lap, and she gave him an exasperated look. That’s what he had to say after a decade?

“Late?” She followed him into his little hut, crawling on her knees though the door. He made her a bowl of stew to eat as she sat on the dirt floor. “How could I possibly be late Master?” He handed her a little spoon, and she started to eat slowly, watching him.

“Doddle you did.” He pointed his cane at her.

“I had a _mission_ Master.” She felt her face scrunch as he made that _Hurrm_ sound at her like she was a little Padawan again.

“Leia you watched?” She nodded, not being able to talk with a spoon-full of soup in her mouth.

“She’s the young Princess of _Alderaan_.”

“And Luke?” A smile found her lips after she’d tilted the rest of the soup back. Wiping her mouth, she handed her Master the empty bowl.

“ _Tatooine,_ with his Uncle, Aunt, and Obi-Wan.”

Her Master _Hurrmed_ again, and she watched him, glad to be in his presence once more. He reached out and took her hand into his once more before he patted it.

“Glad you are here I am.” She opened her mouth and then promptly closed it, not wanting to ask, but needing to know. “Questions you have, ask them.”

“Did you really fight Dooku, Master?” It was silent for a long moment in that humid little hut, and Master Yoda finally sighed.

“Fight him I did.” She nodded softly before she told him how she could feel it, how it had hurt her from galaxies away. Then, he asked her questions to turn the air calm again. He asked her how long she would stay. How she got there. Why she didn’t go home. He asked her all kind of things, and they talked long into the night on _Dagobah_.

When her second day on the swampy planet came and passed her by, he asked her another question, one that had her reeling and choking on soup.

“The boy you see at night, about him you will tell me.”

“Oh _kriff_.” She’d mumbled, setting her bowl on his little table. A few deep breaths later could she talk again. He’d just watched her. “His name is Seros.” Was what she started with, and slowly but surely, she became a babbling mess about everything they’d ever said and done. Her Master Yoda had set himself on a stool, listening with slow consideration and many nods. By the end of it all, when she was telling him about their battle on _Dantoonie_ , and the conversation they had a few nights later, she could feel tears in her eyes.

Wiping her eyes with her palms, she apologized for not telling him, for being weak about it for over two hundred years.

“Nothing, I could have done anyway.” He’d said with a shrug as she stared at him open mouthed and squinty eyed.

“I’m sorry?” She’d mumbled, her palm rubbing her eye again.

“This bond, unbreakable it is.” She tilted her head to the side, confused as she stared at the little green man she called her Master. He chuckled at her, reaching out to gently lift her head back up. “Rare as well.”

“Do you know what it is Master?”

“Force bond, it is called.” He slid off of his stool with a small grunt before he offered her some water. “Minor bonds, common in Force twins they are. But, bonds like yours, rare they are.” Master Yoda made sure she drank the whole cup, and then another before he continued.

“Formed between enemies, are bonds like yours.” He’d pointed at her with his cane again.

“Why?” Came her breathless question. She must have looked just as exasperated as she sounded, because he’d laughed at her then. Her Master shrugged at her again. That was the most she’d ever heard of her Master not knowing things, ever.

“Rare it is.”

“Yes, I got that.” She shifted up onto her knees and leaning towards him. “But it has to have happened before, right?” He waved her off then, handing her another cup of water that she didn’t particularly want; but again, he would only continue if she drank it. The cup clacked on the little wooden table, much like it had that afternoon on _Tatooine_.

“Happened before it has.” He placed himself back on his stool.

“To who?”

“His name, I do not know. But Force bond with Sith Lord he had.”

* * *

**3 ABY**

She watched Luke Skywalker from the trees, for she’d been on Dagobah for the past ten standard years, training with her Master. She watched as he struggled to carry her Master Yoda on his back as he ran through the swamps and over fallen logs. Every now and then, she would catch her Master’s eyes as he glanced up at her in the trees when his current pupil cursed and groaned. She could tell that he had actually wanted to train Leia, but Luke would have to do. Actually, she quite liked Luke. She’d held him first after all.

The boy she held in her arms over twenty years ago, was suddenly a young man in front of her eyes. He’d met Obi-Wan Kenobi, learned of the Jedi, and he’d seen Vader. Obi-Wan had told him to come here. Here to the gross swamps of _Dagobah_ ; the same ones she wondered why she herself stayed in. Never the less, he’d been instructed to come here after Obi-Wan fell at the hands of his former apprentice. And so, here was Luke Skywalker, walking away from Yoda’s hut and deeper into the trees, cursing.

She followed after him when she’d gotten a wave of _“Go”_ from her Master. She’d bounded through the trees, only ever losing her balance once as her bare feet managed to hold her steady. Laid out on a tree branch, she rested her chin on her arms as Luke started to grumble at himself. That was when she spoke, her feet kicking the air lazily.

“Master Yoda’s training is wearing your ass out, huh?” He was moving sharply then, brandishing his father’s lightsaber in a rush. The lightsaber Anakin had made. The one he’d used in so many battles, one of them being against Seros, and another against his own Master. She’d watched the blue for a moment, the saber’s color didn’t match the inner dark green of Luke’s soul. There was a strange sensation in her chest as she slid up into a crouch on the branch.

“Who said that?” Luke was looking everywhere but up. Woo, he needed some serious Force training.

“Up here kid.” She’d waved at him and when he finally glanced up at her. When she dropped to the ground behind him, he whipped around; blue saber pointed at her.

“Who are you?” He’d asked with narrowing eyes. She felt a bit cheeky then, knowing Obi-Wan hadn’t told him the whole truth. How could he? She’d barely wanted to recognize it herself.

“I’m a friend of Anakin Skywalker.” Was what she said to him. Luke’s hold on the lightsaber wavered as he looked her over.

“My father?” She touched her finger to her nose and then pointed it at him, a large smile on her face. “How is that possible?” He was lowering the laser sword now.

“Excuse me?” She’d crossed her arms over her chest, her hip cocking out. Oh she could feel him approaching her and Luke at a _fast_ pace. The young man in front of her blushed a little, his saber dipping closer to the ground with every passing second.

“You’re just so…young?” Her mouth opened and she had suddenly been cut off by the sharp voice of a spirit.

“Reddlen.” Came her name out of Obi-Wan Kenobi’s mouth. There he was.

“That’s Master Zamora to you, Obi Wan Kenobi.” She turned on the pale blue, a smirk on her lips. “Just because you’re dead now, doesn’t mean you can skip over the proper formalities.” Obi Wan scowled at her with denied amusement in his eyes. He sighed, and she heard the disengagement of a lightsaber behind her.

“You’re a Jedi!” Luke exclaimed behind her, and she glanced back at him.

“I was.” She replied easily to the boy she’d held in her arms as a baby.

“You were born to be a Jedi, you live as a Jedi, and you die a Jedi.” Obi-Wan gave her a pointed expression, arms crossed over his chest, and she knew that he was correct. One did not simply forget about being Jedi.

“You’re doing the wisdom thing again.” His lips quirked at that, and she grinned at her junior Jedi.

“Shut up.” He murmured, and his form flickered from the old man that he appeared as, to the Jedi she’d known. The one with a full head of hair and a colored beard. A man she’d followed behind in many missions, and one she’d watched grow into a Master. He flickered back. She raised an eyebrow at him.

“Why do you look so old?”

“It’s a thing that happens when you’re human.” He’d returned her eyes, and she scrunched her face at him with mock laughter.

“That’s not what I meant and you know it.” Her fingers wiggled at him before she’d recrossed her arms.

“This is the only form he’s known me in.” Obi-Wan motioned to Luke standing behind her. In a moment, both Jedi were staring at the young man who suddenly became a little self-conscious under the scrutiny, his cheeks tinting pink. She turned her face back to her junior.

“I doubt it will destroy his mind if you wanted to be a bit younger again.” She couldn’t see it, but she knew Luke was nodding his head sharply. “See?” She’d motioned back at the boy again. Obi-Wan Kenobi sighed; his eyes closing as his form flickered to the one she’d gotten used to seeing in the past.

“Besides Padawan Obi, this one’s my favorite.” A smile had been on her face as the Jedi groaned and shook his head at her.

“Why do I put up with you?” She shrugged at his words.

“I’m your senior, you have to.” She’d winked at Obi-Wan, a grin on her lips. “You like me anyways.”

* * *

After their impromptu meeting with Obi-Wan Kenobi’s ghost, Luke Skywalker would not leave her be. He asked her all kinds of questions, many of which she simply did not want to answer. He tried to pick at her brain the whole walk back to her Master’s hut, and when they got there, the little Jedi was waiting for them in the doorway. R2 squealing when he saw her again.

“Met you have.”

“Yeah,” She’d replied, glancing at the young man with a giggle. “How do I turn it off?” Master Yoda smiled at her, coaxing her over with a small wave of his hand. She crouched next to her Master, both of them looking up at Luke as she placed a hand on the excited astromechs head.

“One time, young you were.” She’d snorted at that as he glanced at her. “Questions like his you once had.” Master Yoda turned to hobble back into his hut. “Mediation, you will do.” She opened her mouth to object, saying that she was over three hundred years old, that she no longer needed to be told to train, and her Master held up his cane.

“My student, you will always be.” He glanced over his shoulder at her, his inner light flickering with amusement. She’d seemed to be causing that reaction in a few Jedi today, she noticed. “Help Luke you will, my Reddlen.” She glanced over at the young man who her Master had taken the weight of training. This was her new fellow student, her new brother. She groaned and told him to put his Fathers lightsaber away, as he was not to need it for now.

She stood on one hand, rocks circling around her in opposite orbits as her palm held fast to the boulder under her. Her body did not wiggle, for she’d done this very thing so many times in her past, but now her Master was watching her again with small comments of well done.

Luke was struggling, his body shaking and sending vibrations through the ground and up her arm as she stilled herself. She’d opened her eyes, watching him attempt to hold his upside-down stance more than a few feet away. Master Yoda simply watched him struggle, commenting on his lack of focus every now and then. She could see him beginning to break, much like she had that one time on that forested planet. The rocks she’d been holding in the air settled back into their places in the ground, and she’d tilted herself back down onto her bare feet. Her Master watched her move towards his informal Padawan.

Her hands easily steadied his jittering legs he held in the air. She walked around him and dropped her fingers to gently press his spine straight. She’d crouched in front of him as she adjusted his outstretched arm, silently showing him how to hold it for perfect balance. Her arms wrapped around her knees as she glanced down at him and he stared up at her.

“You gotta breathe kid.” She’d mumbled quietly. “Deep breaths, from your core.” Fingers poked his stomach softly, and she smiled at him when he inhaled properly.

“Very good.” She murmured. “Get comfortable like this, and then lift that rock over there.” Her body turned, motioning to a boulder that she’d placed back down in the dirt. Moving out of his way, she went to go stand by Master Yoda, the little Jedi gazing up at her with a fondness.

“A good Master, you would have been.” He commented, and she snorted at him again, arms crossed over her chest. Kelle’s crystal heated against her skin.

“I would have been too soft.” She started as the stone she’d told Luke to move began to tremble.

“Close to your student, you have been.” Master Yoda nodded at her, his eyes back on the still softly trembling Luke Skywalker.

“All Masters are.” Her voice retorted for her.

“Closer than most, I mean.” A sigh left her.

“None of those kids were for me to teach.” She waved off the memories of the many Padawan choosing’s she’d been requested to attend, since she was a Master with no student still. She remembered walking past the line of thirteen-year olds, never having one give her the right Force sensations. She’d just never chosen a Padawan, and she regretted it only every now and then, knowing if she had chosen one, they would have never gotten along properly.

“Know that I do.” Her gaze flickered over to her Master, watching as he watched Luke lift the rock out of the soil.

She’d been practicing forms, her sabers twirling in her hands as she moved them in ways she’d formulated long ago. The soft buzz of the gold and green lasers, calmed her, reminded her that they were wholly hers; her twins. Her feet slid over the mossy terrain as she sunk into a stance, her mind relaxing into a steady state of gentle commands to her muscles.

Her gold sabers hilt rolled over her hand as she caught it after throwing it up. She lifted her foot to the back of her other knee, pointing the green down as she held the gold back, and above her head in a slow block. When she fought, she’d constantly found herself falling into a rhythm she’d practiced for. A rhythm that she always practiced slowly and methodically, wanting it to be perfect when she did have to use her skills again.

The gold spun on her fingers, the ring she’d built into the lightsabers butt allowing it to create a circle of gold in front of her as she slid back into another stance. Her forms were another method of meditation for her, causing her consciousness to slip back into her own mind. Many times, she’d come out of her saber trance to see her Master watching her, and others, she’d found herself searching her mind for Seros.

That day, had been one of the days she looked for Seros. That day, she mindlessly followed the string that pulled from her chest, not thinking properly within her movements. It was when she’d gone too far, that she’d received vicious push back. It was when the cold she felt from his absence began to grow, and cover her body that she’d dropped her disengaging sabers. It was when she fell to her knees on the ground, pain twisting her gut as she tried to breathe, that she’d realized what she’d done.

She felt the way the string wrapped around her neck, the way it, the way _he_ , began to limit her, warning her. That was when Luke had come streaking towards her, face pale and eyes wide as he grabbed at her shoulders and told her what Yoda had made him to. Where Master Yoda had told him to go with no weapon.

He told her what he saw in the cave as she tried to sit and breathe properly.

* * *

Luke Skywalker was rushing around, collecting his things quicker than when he’d set them out. She’d been sitting in a tree again, watching him try and stuff everything back into his X-Wing with mild fascination. She wondered how he’d gotten all that in the starship anyway, knowing his was just as low on storage space as her was. Her arms pushed her out of the tree.

“Where are you going?” She’d asked him when she landed, her back leaning up against the X-Wing.

“My friends are in trouble.” Luke grumbled quickly, trying to coax the droid R2-D2 back into the ship. She didn’t need to question him about how he knew, for she had felt the same way when Qui-Gon died, when her Master fought Dooku and when Anakin fell. She’d just known without having to hear it from someone else’s mouth.

“You haven’t completed your training.” Her voice was soft as she watched. He’d snapped at her then, a scowl on his young face as he glared at her.

“I know! I’m coming back!” She grinned at him, much to his confusion.

“I’m going with you.”

“What?” Luke had seemed dumbfounded, staring at her as if she’d grown a horn out of her head.

“I’m going with you kid.” Her arms had crossed, hip cocked out.

“I can only fit one in the X-Wing.” His voice trailed off and she nudged his shoulder with her hand softly.

“And how do you think I got here?” She began, and he shrugged at her, open mouthed. “I’ve got my own X-Wing.”

They’d just made it to the planet _Bespin_ , and she could feel Vader’s presence, Anakin’s blue light hidden deep under a layer of dark hatred. She ran through the halls with Luke, flicking her wrists to throw the guards out of their way as they screeched around corners. She could sense Leia here as well, feel her fear beginning to block her into an emotional corner.

During the flight to the cloud city of _Bespin_ , Luke had told her everything there was to know about the rebel alliance over their shared comms. He told her about the Princess of _Alderaan_ she’d watched over, of the smuggler and Wookie they’d run into. He told her about the _Millennium Falcon_ , and _Hoth_. He’d caught her up on everything the Empire had been doing in the universe during the ten years she’d been hidden on _Dagobah_ with her Master.

Yet, now, they scorched through the white building that floated high off of its planet surface; her mind racing with everything she now knew. They came to a cross roads, her and Luke. One direction she could sense the anger that filled Vader’s suit; and in the other, was Leia running through the halls away from them.

“Luke,” She’d started to formulate a plan, but he was running towards Vader’s presence, and she couldn’t stop him. “Luke!” Her voice yelled, and he slid to a halt.

“Go make sure Leia and Han get off the planet!” She hesitated before she nodded, pointing at his back as he ran on.

“Don’t you dare die!” Luke waved his hand over her shoulder, telling her he’d heard her. She took a deep breath and stilled her mind withing a heartbeat. A small amount of focus had her locating the little Princess she’d hidden on _Alderaan_. A small amount of focus had her walking through the halls, tossing guards away from her as if she’d simply picked up ragdolls. When she turned the final corner, she saw Leia, a man she didn’t think was Han Solo, and an awfully tall Wookie sprinting away from the path she’d cleared, and into the bulk of the fray.

A whistle between her two fingers had them all sliding to a halt and turning towards her. She’d grinned and waved them over.

“This way Princess!” They all exchanged a glance between themselves before Leia took off from them, running towards her in large strides. Another smile had found her face when she slid around the wall, and led them to the ship they had landed in the city, only managing to find it because of the strings both Luke and Leia had left in it. She’d stopped the group of three with her outstretched arms and a finger to her lips at the sound of boots. Guards, a good amount of them. She ushered them back around the corner, where they could stay hidden, and when the Wookie raised his crossbow gun, she pushed it back down.

“Not now Chewie.” Her words were whispered, and they all looked at her, wondering how a stranger could possibly know the Wookie’s name. She ignored the expressions as she rubbed her hands together sharply, letting her mind and body still as she pulled her Force back towards her. With a breath out, she stepped around the corner and into plain sight, Leia’s hands grabbing for her as she moved out of range. It wasn’t long before the Stormtroopers had seen her, and she wasn’t sure if they were slower, or just as quick as the droids had been during the Clone Wars. Whichever it was, it was still delayed as she was commanded to put her hands up, to remain still.

She grinned.

“I haven’t moved yet.”

“Shut up.” One suit of armor growled as they came towards her, blasters raised. “Hands behind your back.” She slid her arms behind her back obediently, before she quietly popped the covers off of her lightsaber’s sheaths. Her fingers sank into the leather around her gold saber, hooking through the ring on its butt. Withdrawing it from his hiding place, she ignited it, spinning it on her fingers.

The gold shield the saber made, easily blocked the blaster fire that tried to rain down upon her. She was flicking her free wrist again, throwing Stormtroopers away from her position with easy movements. Her saber spun to a stop, landing in her hand softly when she disengaged it and meticulously scratched a few specks of ash off of it with a few murmurs of _“What is that?”_. She finally slid it away, relocking the covers over both lightsabers before she turned to the three that were definitely not hidden behind the wall very well, for she could see their eyes poking out from around the corner. She’d shook her head, a smile on her face before she motioned to them again, her fingers pointing them onto the _Falcon_. A pain in her chest grew as she told them to close the hatch, that she was fine. That she had her own ship, and that she’d tell them everything later. Her eyes glanced back up into the building, where she could feel Luke fighting Vader, where she could hear Anakin screaming.

A voice whispered past her ear.

 _“You’re no help to him here. Into the air.”_ She hadn’t been sure if it was her own mind playing on her, or if she had actually heard Kelle Aldan murmur to her as the _Millennium Falcon_ took off. She moved towards the X-Wing she’d taken such good damn care of in the swamps of _Dagobah._ She’d yelled at R2, telling the astromech she’d met and worked with before to get into the X-Wing with her. The little blue droid didn’t argue as he slid out of Luke’s ship, and climbed into hers, seeming to knowing the young man wouldn’t be back for the ship.

When she took off, she hailed the _Falcon_ , her signal being quite unique. Leia picked up right away.

“Hello?” The Princess answered.

“Can you hear me Princess?” She’d pulled her considerably smaller starship around the front of largely disk shaped one, blocking their path for a few moments. She waved at them from her cockpit, the colors of her X-Wing slightly different than the ones on Luke’s.

“We can see you.” A laugh left her, a smile on her face as she adjusted the helmet that bore the Jedi emblem on its side.

“Good,” She paused, feeling the Force ripple around her in a desperate way, she could see Leia in the Falcon turn back towards the floating city. Her face dropped. “Luke needs help.” She’d murmured over the comms.

“We have to go get him.” She heard the Princess tell the man that was certainly not Han Solo. “Lando,” Leia started again. “Turn the ship around.”


	11. 4 ABY

She’d let Leia braid her hair in the quiet times they were allowed to have both before, and after they’d rescued Han Solo from _Tatooine_. The planet had become sort of dusty constant that she was not fond of. Luke had gone back to _Dagobah_ to finish his training with her Master Yoda, and he’d asked her to go with him. Yet she had remained with the Princess of _Alderaan_ and the Smuggler, knowing she was not needed on _Dagobah_ any longer.

It wasn’t long before she’d felt her Master disappear from the in between completely. It wasn’t long before she’d doubled over, Leia’s fingers still in her undone hair as she sat in front of the Princess. She’d let out a gasp, and hands immediately fell on her shoulders to hold her in the seat. Worried words spoken at her rather than to her. Her hands were held in the Princess’s as Han pat her back, trying the coax her into breathing. When she’d began to inhale again, Leia brushed hair out of her freckled face while the Smuggler gently rested his hands on her shoulders again.

“Master Zamora,” The young Princess called to her. “Are you alright?” She was reeling, the Kyber around her neck only heating with her emotions, blue the sky-blue was calming to her.

“Yes,” She’d managed to breathe out. “I’m, I’m fine.” They helped her sit back up, her hair falling around her face and over her shoulders. She’d glanced out of the _Falcon’s_ window, the hyperspace around them blurring the window with streaks of blue.

“What happened?” Leia asked her softly when she’d turned her eyes back to the brown gaze she could have sworn belonged to the Queen Padmé Amidala.

“Master Yoda, he’s gone.” She saw the Princess exchange a look with Han that stood holding her shoulder before she squeezed her hands, mumbling condolences. She knew there was nothing that Leia Organa or Han Solo could have done, nothing she nor Luke could have done either. Another breath left her as she glanced back at Han.

“Go pilot the ship kid, I’m alright.” He actually gave her a worried expression, one where lines formed in his forehead and his nose scrunched. “Go help Lando and Chewie.” She’d said to him again, this time with a bit of power behind her words. When Han walked towards the cockpit, she turned her eyes back to Leia, who continued to hold her hands softly.

“Are you sure you’re going to be okay?” The Princess asked her again. She’d swallowed the lump in her throat. She knew he was to leave her sooner or later.

“Yeah,” She started. “Yes.” She finished. Her eyes glanced back out of the window again. “We’ll rendezvous with the main ship soon, right?”

“We will.” Leia confirmed softly, squeezing her hands once more.

“When we do, I going to find a bed,” She closed her eyes and tilted her head back, a laugh on her lips when her fingers were let out of Leia’s grasp. “And I’m going to sleep for as long as I possibly can.” She could hear the smile in the Princess’s voice.

“Okay.”

* * *

She doesn’t remember how long she slept. Doesn’t remember when she fell asleep, or where she actually fell asleep. She just vaguely remembered sitting in a warm field, flower crown weaving in hand as she watched the large star set over her _Kinai_.

There was a grunt beside her, and she turned her face to see Kelle Aldan brushing his hands off on his dark robe. She noticed how he placed himself into the grass next to her, and just how _young_ he looked to her eyes. This was the Kelle she’d met when she was child, a very long time ago when she didn’t know what she was. He gave her that goofy grin, pushing frizzing auburn hair out of his freckled face.

“Well, well, well.” He chided at her, his teeth clicking for his affect. “You’ve changed a lot, haven’t you, Jedi Reddlen?” She had stared at him, dumbfounded for a long moment, but she couldn’t help her laughter for him. Her fingers halted in their task, her head shaking.

“Of course I’ve changed.” She grinned at him, her shoulder knocking with his in that familiar way. “It’s been more than one hundred and sixty since you’ve seen me last, Kelle.” Her smile became soft, laced with a little bit of sadness as she continued to stare into his blue eyes. It took her a moment, but she realized just how long it had actually been since she’d spoken with him.

“I know, I know.” He conceded with her, two fingers coming up to tap the underside of her chin fondly. She studied his freckles, so much like hers within their color, yet they were so different. His actually fit his face, unlike hers that were splattered in sporadic patterns. They stared at each other for a long moment of silence. The flowers she’d been weaving were set to the side carefully, and her arms wrapped around his neck quickly, her face hidden under his chin as he held him close to her once again.

“I miss you.” She’d choked out, tears falling from her eyes again as she breathed him in. He still smelled like himself. A large hand placed itself in between her shoulder blades softly, the other holding the back of her hair as he rested the side of his head against hers.

“I know.” He murmured that phrase again, his voice quiet next to her gently pointed ear. Kelle held her face up, holding it between his kind fingers as he wiped the tears off of her cheeks. “I’m so proud of you Reddlen.” He murmured towards her. Her hands instinctively moved to hold onto his wrists as she watched him talk to her. He looked so _young_.

“You have become such a wonderful Jedi.” She let out a small sound, not sure completely sure if it was sad or pleased at his words. He smiled his smile again, his hands dropping to hers. His grasp was firm and she cried a bit more at the pure realness of it all, a weak smile on her lips as she stared into the sky eyes of her second friend in the whole universe. They’d stayed like that until she managed to calm down. Stayed like that until she reached over to the flower crown that was set aside, and placed it on his head. Her fingers moving and smoothing his hair out of his face and from around his ears.

Kelle watched her move, not wanting to disturb her as she worked with his mess of auburn. And when she sniffled again, he laughed at her, making her smile a bit more. He held her face in his hand again for a moment. She’d just missed him _so much_.

“You’re eighteen in _Kinainan_ now, correct?” She’d nodded, not trusting her voice to speak as he gently pat her cheek. “A proper adult now huh?”

“I look like I should still be a Padawan Kelle.” Her voice had been a bit gravely, and he’d chuckled at her struggle.

“But you’re not, you’re a Jedi.”

“I was.” Kelle’s gaze dropped down to the ground, a shake to his flower crowned head.

“You are.” When he turned his eyes back up to hers, she could see the old Jedi he’d grown to be in them. “And you’re not done yet.” She’d snorted at him, her tears drying as he let her chin go.

“Of course. I’m not done throwing myself into one dumb situation after another yet. I’m on the Rebel ship right now after all.” She motioned around her, only see her favorite field on _Kinai_. Her hand curled and dropped back down.

“That’s not what I meant.” His freckles managed to frown with him somehow.

“Then what?” She felt annoyance bubble and then dissipate as she reached out to tuck more of his loose hair back behind his ear.

“You’re not going to like it.” Kelle Aldan grimaced, his hands folding in his lap when he looked back down. “But it needs to be done, all of us have agreed that it has to be you.” And by all of them, he meant all of the Jedi that had been born before and after her. The ones that had died. She grumbled softly, tiring of him beating around the bush.

“What is it Kelle?”

“It’s your unknown Sith.” He’d mumbled, before the dream began to warp around her. She reached for Kelle, his shoulders slipping through her desperate grasp as he disappeared from her sight again. A cold sensation ripped through her the second loss of him, but it was soon replaced with an increasing sense of repressed emotions and actions.

She was standing in a white room. One that she soon came to realize was a pitiful excuse for quarters; like the ones on a battle cruiser she surmised. There wasn’t much there, and even with the lights dimmed low, it was hard to keep her eyes open. There was a strange dresser on her left, and a meticulously kept bed to her right. When the door slid open, she wasn’t at all surprised.

Seros stepped in, unlocking the steel cuffs from his wrists. He set them on a small table that was built into the wall. Next, he unbuttoned his dark tunic and threw it too the bed, leaving him in what she guessed was black linen. Black. Black against the white sterile of this room. Bad combination; one that hurt her head just to look at. Seros hadn’t changed too much, only about a year and a half’s worth of _Kinainan_ time having had passed their bodies by; but there were subtle differences that she saw in him.

His shoulders were wider and his back was broader, he might have grown a little bit as well. His boots where what came off next before he sighed under her gaze. Seros met her eyes with his own, the gold filling them had grown hard and cold. His ears still looked infinitely sharper than hers.

“Are you just going to stand there and stare at me?” He’d hissed at her, his face scrunching.

“If I have too.” She replied too quickly to him. He snorted, annoyance filling him and spilling over into her mind. Why had he suddenly let her back in? After all this time, what did he want?

“Don’t start with me little Red.” His freckles weren’t glowing anymore.

“You shut me out for nearly thirty-one years and you expect me to have something grand and pleasant to say? Like you only left yesterday?” She’d hissed back at him, her voice only rising in volume with her words. Seros turned on her sharply, the Force he’d disturbed prickling over her skin in painful pinches.

“I am not in the mood for your games girl!” She’d taken a step back, his words pushing her towards the wall. She could see the fog in his mind. She could see the swirls she’d cleaned for him before, and the ones that had been left unattended for three decades. Her face hardened, feeling herself become agitated at his hatred. She just couldn’t understand.

“Games?” She’d stepped forwards, her Force pushing against his in a brutal way; he stepped away from her. “This is no game to me Seros. This is no unhappy reunion.” Her hands motioned around them.

“ _Look_ at this.” She took another foot towards him, pointing at him as he took a copying foot back. “Look at _us_. We’re only like this because _you_ shut me out.” Seros snarled at her from his position up against the wall, her Force was holding him there and she didn’t even know she’d done it. She released him, his feet touching the floor of his bedroom once more.

“I’m sorry.” She mumbled, hating the way he’d riled her up so effortlessly. She combed her hair back from her eyes.

He was on her in a moment, his hands grasping her face as his lips traveled over her skin. He left kisses over her cheeks, her forehead, even her chin, before he tilted her head up and started on her neck. She could feel her face scrunch in confusion at his quick change of pace towards her as the slender fingers not holding her chin, were grasping at her lower back in a desperate way. Seros mouthed at her skin, his teeth leaving small points of dull pain when she found her hands grasping his shoulders.

“Seros.” She said. “Seros.” She’d said again. He didn’t stop, his teeth now nipping their way along her jaw. It was when his mouth hovered over hers with heavy breaths that she pushed on him.

“ _Seros_.” Her tone caught up with her finally, making her voice sound stronger than she actually felt. He stared into her eyes, the gold in his gaze molten, but still undeniably frigid. He continued to breathe over her lips harshly, this emotion of his prickling her neck and heating her chest. “What are you doing?” She’d asked him, her hands not moving from his shoulders.

“Be with me.” He stated softly as he moved to kiss along the side of her face again.

“Seros, you know I can’t. I took an oath-Ah!” Seros had bitten her ears point, his fingers digging into the back of her _qipao_ still.

“There is no Order.” He’d whispered to her. “You’re not a Jedi anymore, let me have you.” She pushed on his shoulders again when he managed to drag her closer along the length of his body. There was a conflict within her; and he was only using it to his advantage, feeling her weakness towards him.

“Seros, stop.” She didn’t really mean that, and he knew that she didn’t as he lifted her chin again with his fingers. His pale hair brushed her chin as he drug his front teeth over the collar bone he’d managed to expose. She didn’t know how he’d undone the buttons of her tall necked _qipao_ so quickly, but he had. Wooden beads scraped across her skin, reminding her of Kelle, and what he’d said to her only moments prior. “Seros I’m serious.” She needed to be sure with her words, to focus on the reality again, and not the way his palms slicked heatedly across her back.

“No you’re not.” He’d breathed against her freckled skin.

“Yes,” She pushed him away from her again, willing the Force to assist her, but failing as he continued to fog her brain and heat her body. “I am.” Her fingers pressed into his shoulders harder. “Please.” He’d hesitated then, his hands halting in their movements. She took this time to unwind herself from his grasp, frustrated with the way she’d melted against him like putty.

“We can’t do that.” She’d finally huffed at him, combing her loose hair away from her face with trembling fingers. “This isn’t even real. I’m not really here.” She grumbled at herself more than him. Her hands straightened her clothing, rebuttoning the tall neck closed, hiding the evidence of what he’d done to her skin. Taking a deep breath in, she closed her eyes.

“They’ve asked you to come here.” Seros spoke to her, the gold of his eyes fell upon her heavily; she didn’t have to see it to know. “Those dead Jedi.”

“They have.” She’d opened her eyes, taking on his gaze with her own. “And I will, if you do not relinquish that bled saber of yours.” Her fingers motioned to the lightsaber hanging from his hip.

“And why should I?” He crossed his arms, face holding nothing for her. She thought he looked like a pouty child.

“What you’re doing is wrong Seros.” She held her hands out towards him. Seros sneered at her.

“And how would you know what right and wrong is?” He tilted his chin up, white hair falling in his eyes. Her teeth grit as she held her finger tips to her sternum, gently tapping a few times.

“Because I can feel it, here.” He’d snorted at her, waving her off.

“What are you even fighting for?” His fingers motioned at her and she felt her face fall. “The Jedi Order?” Seros rolled his eyes, a cynical chuckle falling from his lips. “There’s only the two of you left, and you can barely call that Skywalker a proper Jedi.” He stalked towards her, his hands grabbing at hers as he leaned into her breath, a smirk on his lips.

“So, as it turns out, it’s just you.” His lips hovered over hers again, his eyes hooded as he gazed down at her. “Join me Reddlen. We could accomplish so much together.” Seros ghosted his mouth over hers in a gentle motion. “Sweep the rug out from underneath Palpatine’s dumb little feet.”

“His feet _are_ little and dumb.” She’d mumbled against him. “He’s from _Naboo_ too. I hate _Naboo_.”

“Yessss.” He hissed at her, kissing the corner of her mouth as his hands began to slide up her bare arms, his fingers still openly avoiding the thick scar on her shoulder.

“We’re so much older, so much stronger than him.” Seros held her face in his palms now, a grin on his mouth as their bottom lips brushed. “We’d be unstoppable together.” He moved again, drawing his teeth over her ears edge as she stood against him.

“We would,” She started as he breathed against her skin in what felt like triumph. “If you would only come back with me.” His movements over her shoulders and face stopped, there was another sound from him as he ripped himself away from her. Seros’s expression was that of disgust and anger. She pointed at him as his face continued to contort.

“You stay right here,” A grin was what she offered him. “I’ll be there in a few moments.” He opened his mouth to express his frustrations, but she was already gone.

She’d sat up quickly, breathing heavily in the dark of the quarters she barrowed. Discarding her blankets and straightening her clothing and hair, she began down the lit halls of the ship. It wasn’t hard for her to locate Leia, and Luke, on the ship. The Skywalker was back, a different feeling about him as she approached the lounge with slow steps and fingers braiding her hair. She paused a few feet outside the door, listening.

“How long has she been asleep?” Luke had asked.

“A few days.” Leia replied, a bit of worry lacing her tone. “She took the death of Yoda pretty hard.”

“I would have figured,” Luke began again. “She seemed close to our Master.”

“Should we wake her?” Leia once more.

“Nah,” She heard the sound of cups clack on a table with the voice of Han Solo. “She said she wanted to sleep, let her sleep.” He paused, probably taking a drink of something. “She’ll get up when she wants to. It’s not like we’re leaving for _Endor_ yet anyway.”

“I didn’t know someone could sleep that long.” The Princess sounded unsure of herself as she stepped into the lounge, tying a band around her braided hair.

“Me neither.” The three turned to her, Luke dressed in black, but glowing green within. Leia had redone her hair, fingers clasped around a cup. Han was leaned back in his seat, a lopsided smile on his face as he took her in.

“Welcome back to the world of the livin’ huh?” The Smuggler leaned forward, offering her a chair at the table. When she took it, he slid her his cup. He laughed at her when she glanced down at the tea, and then back up to him with a raised eyebrow. “Relax, I didn’t drink out of it. I don’t even like tea.” She gladly took the warmth into her cold hands.

“Why did you make it then?” Han shrugged, his eyes closing as he did.

“Just did.” She took a sip of the tea, and she found it bitter on her tongue; she swallowed the drink anyway.

“You’re going to _Endor_?”

“ _We’re_ going to _Endor_.” Leia corrected her. She turned her gaze to Luke, and then Han once more before she settled on the Princess she had hidden away long ago.

“You’re going to take the second Death Star’s shield out?” Luke nodded at her question, his cup to his lips before he set it back down.

“The scattered Rebel fleet is waiting for orders to hyperjump into the battle when we take it down.” The Skywalker seemed calm; way too calm. She stared at young Jedi, a knowing look transferring between them. She knew he was going to face Vader by himself, and he must have known what she was about to do. She’d missed the understanding between Jedi.

“When do you leave?”

“ _We_ leave in another day.” Leia placed her hands flat on the table, looking a bit exasperated. “You’re going with us to _Endor_.” She smiled then, glancing down at her cup and away from the Princess.

“No, I’m not.” She’d said. It was Han’s turn to speak next.

“What do you mean?” He leaned across the table as Luke continued to stare at her with a calmness. “You’re not wimping out now are you? Cause that’s just wro-.”

“I’m not wimping out, Han.” She opened her mouth to speak, but again, how was she supposed to tell them about the boy she saw at night? With a deep breath, she looked back up “There’s something I need to do; to finish.” Solo’s face scrunched, and Princess Leia was glancing at him. She closed her eyes as she tilted her face back up.

“There is something I need to finish, from a very long time ago.”

“There’s another Sith Lord.” Luke said quietly with a sureness.

“Yes.” She breathed out, her eyes opening to look that the three. “His name is Seros.”

* * *

She was packing things into her X-Wing like Luke had once done. She was packing provisions they could spare for her, with all kinds of ammo and fuel mixed in. There wasn’t much more for her to do left, other than climb in and fly away. She felt Luke before she heard him.

“Luke.” She’d said as she wiggled one of the wings of her ship, checking it for proper stability.

“Master Zamora.” The Skywalker stopped a few feet away from her, his palm rested on her X-Wings hull as he admired the colors of it.

“I’ve told you,” She turned to him, shaking a finger at the young Jedi. “My name is Reddlen.” There was a knowing smile on her face as he shook his head.

“You are a Jedi Master, and you should be addressed as such.” He held his hands behind his back now, chin raised as he looked at her. Yes, something had certainly changed within him.

“I’m no longer a Jedi, Luke.” Her sigh was heavy when she turned to jiggle the second wing on the ships left side. “Not with where I am going.”

“You were born to be a Jedi; you live as a Jedi and-.” She cut him off with her hand.

“And I will die a Jedi. Yes, I know.” Shaking her head, she turned her eyes up to see the expression of determination that Anakin had given her many times. He looked so much like Anakin, but he sounded like Obi-Wan; a scary mixture. Her feet carried her over to the young man that she had once held in her arms as a baby.

“Luke,” She began softly, standing in front of him. “You are the future of the Jedi. I am of the past, and now I am paying for my mistakes.” Her fingers gently tapped under his chin, much like Kelle had done to her many times. “When you face Vader, appeal to Anakin within him. And when this is over, train your sister.” She’d whispered, and she could see the shock flash over his face in a satisfying way.

“How did you know that?” He’d dropped his voice, and he’d actually leant towards her. She winked at him, a smile on her lips again.

“Obi-Wan wasn’t the only one who stayed in exile to watch over a Skywalker child.” Luke opened his mouth to say something, but she shushed him with a small motion; as Leia Organa and Han Solo came up to them, side by side. They had come to see her off.

She held her hands out to Leia, the Princess taking them as soon as she’d offered. They pressed their foreheads together, in a greeting and a goodbye. Moments passed before she wrapped her arms around the young woman before her, hands gently petting brown hair as she whispered soft reassurances. Leia soon passed her off to Han, who cared not for her traditions of “Hello’s” and “Goodbyes”. Han Solo hugged her pretty roughly, arms wrapping around her as he lifted her bare feet from the floor.

Her friendship with Leia and Luke had been easy; after all, she’d watched the two of them grow. She’d told them all kinds of stories of a young Obi-Wan Kenobi and the Jedi Order long before even him. She felt like family with them. Now, her friendship with Han Solo; that had been a surprise to her. He was a smuggler, a criminal with no sense of _rational_ cleverness. He paid no mind to her customs; he was brash and rude. She’d only managed to spend a few months with him after _Tatooine_ ; but she found she actually liked him. She found he was easy to get along with, to speak with.

“Be good for me kid, yeah?” She’d mumbled to him after a long moment, and he squeezed her tighter before he set her back down. “Don’t you dare die out there. Take care of her.” She nodded towards Leia before she reached up and roughly patted his cheek with her hand. Han handed her to Luke, who placed his hands in hers and pressed their foreheads together. She’d spoken softly to him.

“Be brave Luke. Be the Jedi you were always meant to be.” He let her go, and she grabbed her helmet from the wing of her ship. Swinging herself up into her seat, she placed the helmet on her head as she fired the ship up. She taxied the X-Wing around before she began to close the cockpit around her. A small wave was what she offered the three watching her as the hangar opened its hatches for her.

“When do you think she will be back?” She could hear Leia ask Han before the ship sealed around her.

“She won’t.” The smuggler wasn’t a fool.


	12. 4 ABY - 8 ABY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last part in this chapter is completely optional and can be skipped if desired, as it will contain some of the smuts.  
> And I can hear you now saying: "But why would I ever want to skip that??" Because I would say the very same thing, but since it is not in the tags, I feel like I should give you a bit of a warning here.
> 
> It begins after the second line of separation.
> 
> Have fun.

**4 ABY**

Her X-Wing was reliable.

It never faltered, never complained; even when she’d kept it in a swamp for a decade. She loved that ship. Loved it as she followed Seros into familiar space. Loved it as she did her best to escape too much damage falling upon its hull before she’d landed on the rich soils of _Dantoonie_.

He’d moved. Seros had moved from the system he had been in, and he’d come back here. _Dantoonie_ ; this place also felt like a constant that began to crawl over her shoulder. She’d fought Seros here. Windu had led an attack here; Leia had told Vader to come here before her _Alderaan_ was destroyed. She was beginning to hate the rural planet as much as she hated the sands of _Tatooine_ and the hills of _Naboo_.

Seros was waiting for her in a field, his back facing her when she stepped into the emptied rows and mounds. Her feet sank into the dirt a little, reminding her with a chill, that it was night on this planet once again. She felt conflict in him when she approached, as he more than knew she was really there. She knew what he felt, could taste it in the air when she stopped, her long _qipao_ hem blowing in the wind. She waited for him, but he didn’t turn around.

“Seros.” She’d finally said, watching him stiffen at the sound of his own name. “We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.” He actually laughed at that, his voice sharp and crisp against the air; and again, she was reminded that this was actually him, and not some shadow.

“I was going to say that,” Seros turned towards her in a stiff motion, arm crossed over his chest as his bled lightsaber hung from his belt. “But you’re already here. What’s the use of stopping now?” His gold eyes glowed, but not in that warm way she missed; and everything about him seemed darker to her. His freckles did not glow against his gently grey skin, and she could see no smile in the light of the planet’s moon.

“We don’t have to do this if you would just let me help you.”

“Help me?” He sneered at her. “When this is over, you will.” His hand fell to the butt of his lightsaber, like it gave him comfort as he unhooked it from its place. When he ignited it in a smooth slide, the bled color lit his features up in a distorted manner. He rolled the hilt of it over his knuckles, catching it in his palm once more before he gazed at its blade with a genuine thoughtfulness.

“It reminds me of your hair.” He’d whispered when his face contorted with what seemed like pain. “So it can’t be all bad, right?” He glanced at her and she stared back. There was a moment of silence before Seros snarled, shaking his head out. They came to fight, he reminded himself.

He charged her; saber held in both as he came at her. She fell into a stance as she watched. Snapping her fingers, the covers hiding her lightsabers opened; and her disengaged hilts flew into her hands. His attack came to the left side of her head first, and she called upon only her green. She blocked him with an easy vengeance, and he’d soon dropped back, and away from her as she rolled her gold over knuckles, copying his movements as it ignited in her grasp.

Her green burned brightly as she pointed it at him.

“And my gold reminds me of your eyes.”

They clashed again, her having to make up for her lack of physical strength with speed as she danced around him. And after a while, that’s what it felt like; a dance. The sparks that ignited from their locking sabers were almost always bronze as they fell to the dark ground. Their feet carried them towards each other over and over as they blocked, and turned, and attacked. She leapt back from him, giving them both space to actually breathe again. Her bare toes dug into the soil, seeking the coolness found there.

“This is becoming a moot point Seros.” She’d panted into the air as her guard slipped for a second. He sneered at her a little bit, but not actually disagreeing. This was becoming brutal for the both of them, as neither of them had ever had to fight this long with this many bruises received. Their skills were balanced after centuries of practice, and she could feel his anger at her not falling before him.

He came at her again; a leaping attack over her head, and she’d managed to stiffen and block him with both sabers turned backwards. Her foot connected with his stomach; pushing him back with a snap, and he gasped for the air she’d stolen from his lungs. Her breathing was heavy when they approached each other again, circling like vultures. They’d torn up this poor farmer’s field, and she felt bad for them.

“What is your plan after this?” He gritted out at her when she twirled around him with her gold, and he just barely blocked her over his shoulder. “It’s not like you can go back to them.” Seros caught her in front of him, and he pressed down on her, sabers crossing over her in a doubled defense.

“There is no Master for you; no Jedi. No one for you to protect.” She lashed back out, pushing his saber up and slicing at the front of his dark tunic. He’d jumped away from her, assessing the damage she’d caused to his clothing with his fingers. She could see his TIE Interceptor off in the distance now, as the day on this planet began. They’d been fighting throughout the night; she was tired, and so was he.

“And what do you plan for?” She motioned to him with the green. “In another day or so, there will be no Empire.” He sunk into a stance again, and she copied him.

“You put too much faith into the Skywalkers.” He’d charged her once more, and she got ready to redirect his direct hit. “Don’t forget that they’ve let you down before!” She spun her gold saber by the ring on its hilt, startling him; and he made a mistake. She took her chance while it lasted. Her green came up harshly, meeting his bled blade in just right spot when her leg came around the back of his knee to sweep him. His lightsaber disengaged, and flew out of his hands as it hit the dirt somewhere with a soft thump. She finished taking him down, her sabers hissing as they dug into the dirt on either side of his head as she wholly pushed her knees into his biceps. Her eyes stared down at his widening gold ones, and she’d sighed heavily in triumph when hair fell into her eyes. She’d pinned him.

“You don’t want to fight me.” She murmured to him as she pushed her bright blades further down, her toes digging into the dirt.

“You don’t want to kill me.” He had said back to her, her expression of quiet conflict reflected back to her in his eyes. She faltered, but he didn’t make his move. He just laid there underneath her.

“No,” She started again once she began placing her hard won weapons away. “I don’t.”

“Why not?” Seros asked, his mask of harsh expressions melting with his question. Clicking the covers back over her lightsabers, she’d sighed heavily, her gaze never leaving his.

“No one is ever really gone Seros.” Her hands dropped to hold his face as she slid her knees from their position pinning his arms, to the ground. She quietly coaxed him into sitting up with her as she moved back, her legs straddling his when it her turn to talk and touch him. She couldn’t exactly determine just what he was feeling when her fingers slid over his features; but his hands came up to rest on her thigh and lower back as she whispered sweet things to him. She’d whispered to him reassurances, the ones she had repeated since they were young children hiding in her room at night. She leaned up to press her lips to his cheek, then his forehead, and finally both of his eyes.

“Follow me home Seros.” She’d whispered again, her thumbs swiping over his cheeks and down his neck in slow motions as committed him to memory. “Please,” Her lips mumbled against his cheek as she kissed up the side of his face, much like he’d done to her the night prior. She wound her fingers in his pale hair, pulling his face towards hers; and when their foreheads bumped, she spoke again.

“Let me help you.” She stared him in the eyes then, her hands holding him to her when he finally broke. He dipped his head, placing it on her shoulder as she wrapped her arms around him and let him weep, his fingers digging into. Her fingers traced over the cloth of his tunic, more soft words on her lips. “I’ve got you. I’ve got you.” She doesn’t remember how long she sat in his lap, his face buried in her shoulder and neck as he held her closer. She doesn’t really remember the time, just that the sun had come up completely when he pulled away and gazed up at her.

It wasn’t long before she was holding his face in her hands again, gently tracing the freckles on his skin. She watched how his shadows crawled away from him, and how her Seros was returned to her that morning. He smiled at her, his eyes taking her in as she laughed with a sense of relief as she studied him. Seros’s hands were grasping at her in a different way as he pulled her closer to him; and she wasn’t sure if it was the fingers under her chin or the way his lips genuinely brushed against hers that had her pushing into him wholeheartedly.

She was there in the dirt, nails digging into his hair when their teeth clacked and they pulled away with small sounds of pain. He laughed at her, a warm noise that filled her with a strange amount of indescribable joy before he pressed his lips to hers once more. This kiss he gave to her was soft, closed mouth, until he tucked his hand behind her neck and she lost herself in him. She let him lead her, falling into a rhythm that was unfamiliar, yet undeniably comfortable.

She was healing the abrasions she’d caused on his skin, hands placed on his bare back as she focused on her own breathing. Her Force flowed through him as his flowed through her, as they seemingly healed one another. A droid beeping at them had her glancing up from her task and fixation his freckles. Seros spoke to the astromech he’d brought with him.

“No D80, I’m not dead yet.” The droid squealed. “Yes, I know it’s dirty out here. If you’re just going to complain, go back to the ship.” When D80 turned back towards the TIE fighter with a sassy noise, she slid her hands over Seros’s shoulders, admiring the _warmth_ of his bare skin.

“You won’t go back, will you?” She wrapped her arms around his neck loosely as she leaned her chest into his back, resting her head next to his. He’d glanced at her with his golden gaze, something hidden within them.

“No, will you?” She shrugged; and she knew she wouldn’t.

“There is nothing for me to go back to.”

“You know that’s not true, that Skywalker and his sister could use your guidance.” He’d said softly, hand coming up to gently grab ahold of her wrist. His thumb slid over her skin kindly.

“No,” She mumbled against his skin. “Luke and Leia have all they need; and so do I.” Her lips placed a kiss against his upper cheek bone. She could feel him smile, cautious optimism filled his mind and spilled over into hers.

“Where will you go then?”

“ _We_ , will go home.” She glanced at him, her breath disturbing his pale hair.

“Home?” He flinched a bit, and she could see his memories of _Sedka_. His eyes closed and she smiled against him again.

“Home to _Kinai_.”

* * *

**8 ABY**

She laid dozing in her field, feeling the planet she’d left so long ago, breathe around her. She felt her Jiji sweeping the porch of their little cabin a mile away, and she felt the buzz of the village two miles away. She felt it all again, felt the strings she’d left here as a child, the strings her Kelle Aldan and Master Yoda left. She felt the new strings Seros was leaving as he lived and breathed alongside her.

It had been difficult for him. Difficult getting him acclimated to their rural life on _Kinai_. Getting him used to the gardens and the forest he could roam. She would be lying if she had remembered everything her Jiji had taught her when she was a child; but she was back, and with a boy in tow. Her homecoming had been one full of tears and extreme awkwardness. She had landed her X-Wing in her field, Seros’s TIE fighter close by when she’d finally coaxed him out of the ship, D80 close by.

When she’d led them down the path she’d taken a thousand times, and they came out of the forest, she feared the worst for her Jiji. Yet, the little cabin next to the woods had glowing windows as she opened its door, calling to her precious Jiji who sat at the little table close to the floor. The old _Kinainan_ had scrambled up at the sight of her, grasping and pulling her into a hug with whimpers and tears. He told how much she’d grown up when she placed her hands in his and pressed their foreheads together in proper greeting, how much he’d missed her. He asked her if she was a Jedi now when he tilted her face up to get a better look at her, and she simply smiled at him then. She brought him out on the porch after he asked about her thick banded scar, introducing him to her Seros and his R1-D80 astromech. Jiji had been skeptical of Seros, seeing him, and knowing him to be _Sedkian_ just from his looks; but it wasn’t long before the old man loved him like she knew he would. Her Jiji’s prayer beads still hung about her neck, Kelle’s Kyber hanging from them.

She felt him before she heard, or saw him.

There was a rhythmic tapping on her forehead, and she didn’t have to see who it was when she spoke up.

“You were always terrible at greetings, Anakin Skywalker.” She cracked her eyes open, staring up at the blue that made up the young Jedi’s form. He grinned down at her from his crouched position.

“Yeah? Well you better get up, there’s going to be more than just me.” A groan left her as she sat up; but she was happy to see him, knowing him to be Anakin Skywalker, and not Darth Vader.

“How many?” She’d asked as he laughed at her, his hair long and messy, just like she remembered it.

“Four, including me.” He motioned her to stand, and she did, brushing her _qipao’s_ hem of grass before she stretched up, popping her back in a satisfying way. “Want to know who?”

“I can take a guess Ani.” Anakin grinned at her, glancing down before he glanced around. He took in their surroundings.

“Where are we?”

“This is my home planet, _Kinai_.” She was picking grass blades out of her hair when he turned on her sharply, giving her that amusing smile that always had hers returning to her face.

“This is the planet you told me stories about, on _Tatooine_.” He seemed enthralled, as he took in the forest that surrounded her little field.

“Yeah.” She’d said, enjoying his enjoyment when she felt someone else come towards her and Anakin.

“Master Zamora,” That was Obi-Wan Kenobi’s voice. “I see Anakin has arrived first.” She turned her face towards the other young Jedi that walked towards her, a completely different smile on her face at his approach.

“Obi-Wan,” Her voice chided him. “You were always so punctual, what happened?” He grinned that grin at her, the one he’d lost after _Mustafar_.

“I got a bit sidetracked.” Anakin snorted behind her, and she raised an eyebrow.

“Sidetracked? The great Obi-Wan Kenobi?” The bearded Jedi waved her off, turning his face towards the sky when another past Jedi entered the field. There was another “Master Zamora.”, from her right. Her eyes closed at the sound of Qui-Gon Jinn as she prepared herself. He stopped in between his apprentice and Anakin, taking another space in her grass.

“Master Zamora,” He’d said again as she took in a deep breath and faced the man she should have accompanied back to _Naboo_. “It’s good to see you.” A newly Knighted looking Qui-Gon smiled genuinely at her, and she realized he didn’t hold anything against her.

“Hello, Qui-Gon.”

Her Master had been the last to arrive, his little form hobbling towards them through the grass.

“Reddlen.” The little Jedi greeted her.

She stood in a circle of passed Jedi. They stood around her, dark robes managing to float in the wind before she glanced back down at Master Yoda, eyebrows raised. There was someone missing from their little reunion. She opened her mouth, but her Master raised his little hand to stop her.

“Come to you when you are ready, Kelle will.” She felt the pout on her face before Anakin could laugh and point out her expression.

“Then what’s going on here? This isn’t some kind of intervention is it?” Her accusation finger came into play, and it was about to be Qui-Gon Jinn’s turn to chuckle. “Because I think the only one of you here that gets off completely scot-free is Qui-Gon.” Her nephew did indeed laugh as she thought he would; laughed as the other three Jedi gave her a bit of a sidelong look.

“We’re not here to tell you to rebuild the Jedi Order.” Obi-Wan crossed his arms over his chest, a narrowed expression on his face.

“Not yet, anyways.” Anakin picked up with a sideways grin of his.

“A baby has been born, Master Zamora.” Qui-Gon had finally stopped giggling to himself.

“A disturbance in the Force, he had caused.” Master Yoda finished, and she was nodding in agreement.

“All Force sensitive babies make a grand entrance,” She’d remarked. “But I know what you’re talking about. I’ve felt him too.”

“My grandson.” Anakin spoke softly this time, glancing at the ground at his feet. “Leia’s boy.”

“Luke will train him.” Her voice picked back up with certainty. “Why are you telling me this if the baby’s uncle is more than capable of handling this situation.”

“Jedi Master you are, know you should.” Her Master spoke in a sure tone. She’d huffed a breath out, her head shaking.

“I know already, so what is there for me to do? Besides, you’re a bit late. The child is almost three now.” She glanced at them all, each of them giving her a strange expression. They wanted her to go back, she didn’t. “There is no Order, there is only Luke, Leia and her son. I will not go back to them claiming to be a Jedi Master from a time that has already long passed. Not with everything I have done.”

“That unknown Sith on _Dantoonie_ ,” Obi-Wan started.

“You know him.” Anakin finished for his Master. She was getting frustrated now, knowing that they already knew everything there was to know.

“Yes!” She exclaimed, grass flattening around her from the sheer weight of her Force escaping. A sigh left her and she rubbed her forehead roughly, taming herself once more. “Yes, I know him. I didn’t want either of you to fight him. I didn’t want to fight him, but I had to.” She inhaled the sweet air of _Kiani_ into her lungs.

“I cannot claim to be a Jedi Master with all of the oaths I’ve broken.” She waved a hand at them, and they disappeared from her as she pushed their signatures far away once more. “Just, let me be in love for a little while.”

* * *

It wasn’t long until Seros was plowing through the forest, his breathing heavy as he followed her emotions back to the little field they had originally landed in. He was panting, jogging over to her with worry radiating off of him in waves upon waves. She didn’t have to say much, knowing she was projecting loud enough for him to understand without a word. He’d hugged her, dragging her down into the grass with him wrapped around her. They laid facing each other for a long time, hands exploring softly until the star of _Kinai_ began to set. That was when she finally spoke, half expecting her Jiji to yell for her like he’d always done in the past.

“It’s getting dark.” She murmured to him when he laced her fingers with his; and she watched as he brought her knuckles up to his lips, then the top of her hand.

“I know.” Was what he said to her when he’d ghosted his teeth along the inside of her wrist, his eyes never leaving hers. She’d shivered, sharing in the emotion that prickled at her neck and heated her chest.

“Seros,” She’d warned him, but he’d already bitten down on the sensitive skin of her wrist. He’d already rolled over her, hands digging into the grass on either side of her head. He was already trailing his lips along her cheek, and biting the soft point of her ear before she could say much more. It was when his lips fell onto hers that she finally draped her arms over his shoulders in acceptance of him.

When he felt her concede with his forwardness, was the same moment when he picked up his pace along her. His teeth pulled at her bottom lip, seeking access to her mouth; and when she’d given it to him, she took her own liberties. While is tongue explored hers, she moved her hands to slide under the cloth of his dark linen shirt. Her fingers splayed out against the solid plane of his stomach, then his chest. She was greedy in her actions, touching his white freckled skin ini everyplace she could reach around him.

She must not have been paying enough attention to his mouth it seemed, because he made a noise as she felt him move to her jaw. Seros nipped and at the skin under her chin and ears, shifting his weight from both arms, to just one elbow. His fingers slid over the fine stitching of her _qipao’s_ tall neck before he worked at its wooden buttons. When he pulled the fabric from itself, his lips dropped to the hollow of her neck, her skin tingling. His hair brushed along her cheeks, and she laughed, gently raking her nails up his back before she gingerly pulled his shirt off of his head and arms. She guided his mouth back up to hers as she pushed him back, sitting up to straddle his lap.

His shirt had been tossed somewhere in that field, discarded from their connecting minds as she wrapped her arms back around his neck. She pulled Seros closer, his hands moving under the hem of her _qipao_ , her skin forming goosebumps just from his heated touch. He didn’t seem to interested in getting her completely undressed; he was focused on just pulling her _nu-bakama_ pants down and off her thighs before his palms scorched across her skin once more. She was getting frustrated, feeling his obvious arousal beneath her, but his fingers still doing _everything_ but what she wanted them to. His nails traced along her skin in a teasing way that had her shivering; yet they weren’t where she needed them to be, so she moved them.

When she took ahold of his wrist and slid it between her legs, he groaned, a deep sound against her cheek. It’d been four standard years since the first time they’d done this together, but he still seemed to take part of his pleasure from her telling him what she wanted.

“Don’t mess around Seros, touch me already.” She’d breathed against his temple, and she could feel his grin upturn his lips that were pressed to her softly pointed ear.

“I thought you took an oath?” It was her time to groan as he slowly rolled his thumb against her. He gently pressed her just like she’d taught him to; but he stopped. A strangled sound left her throat as she gripped his shoulders.

“Don’t do this to me right now.” He loved to ask her this, because yes, she took an oath long ago. She took an oath to work against evil, to never use her abilities to suffocate others, to fight for the over all good. Celibacy came with the commitment to the Order, not with the title of Jedi. “I’m not in the mood.” He smiled into her skin again, her hands jittering when his thumb began the small circles of pressure she loved to much. Her head lulled back, eyes closed as he stared up at her, watching how her body responded to his actions. More sounds left her when he dug his fingers into upper thigh, his hand sliding in between their bodies. She could feel the adoration for her in his golden gaze.

“You’re so amazing.” Seros had whispered to her in the dark of the forest, and she’d made another noise against the air, feeling the heat in her stomach pool and grow. Her hands were dug into his hair when it became too much and she unraveled in his grasp, whimpers escaping her as she held tight to him. His thumb slowed, when he gently began pulling her off her high. With little jerks of her hips, she finally let the breath out she didn’t know she was holding in.

Her hands were pulling at him then. Pulling at his shoulders and sliding down his bare chest to push the waist of his pants down. Seros chuckled as she struggled with his piece of clothing before she knocked him back into the grass, her lips dragging up his body as her hands pressed his pants low on his hips, freeing what she really desired. She was holding his length in her hands, biting his shoulder when she sank herself onto him. He squeezed his eyes in concentration as he pierced her body, his hands continuing to grasp her hips. Seros was always a shock to her system, not that he hurt her for long. It had always been such a sudden intrusion, but one that she wholeheartedly welcomed inside of her.

Their love making never began in a gentle manner. It was always the pushing and pulling of their bodies against the other, like they were still fighting a battle. When she rolled her hips against his, he hissed up at her, his eyes flying open as she lifted herself up a little. She looked down at him, hands splayed out on his bare chest as she continued in this slow rhythm. His emotions for this position were always mixed, and she could feel his every changing thought invade her mind. While she knew that he hated the way she always went as slow and soft as she could, but like this, he just hit so _deep_. She could feel his contradictions bubble, and she loved it. She loved the way his mind always became so muddled when she rode him. It just never lasted long, as he sat up and wrapped his arms around her frame before his hips thrusted up into hers roughly.

She cursed loudly, her voice probably echoing off the trees, and he laughed at her in that breathless way. Seros picked up a steady pace, lifting her only to drop her down with heavy movements from him. She could see the sweat building on his forehead, and she grasped at his pale hair again. More curses left her, but he was too focused to speak. Too focused on keeping himself inside of her. He shifted up onto his knees, asking her to lay back and rest her head and shoulders on the grass as he continued to thrust into her body; his thumb working against her in circles once more.

That warm feeling was back in her stomach the more he moved along her. Her fingers dug into the grass, her hips beginning to shake as his free hand moved the long hem of her _qipao_ that hid their connection from his view. He groaned, a deep sound that shook her as his arm slid under her back, his pace picking up. It wasn’t long before she came undone underneath him once more, his body continuing to rock with her as he rode his high out with her. Seros held her close, his head resting on her chest as he panted in time with her. Her fingers wound in his hair once more as she laid in the cold grass with him.

They were always more in tune with each other after they connected, always being able to work seamlessly together. Even then, she could feel his heart beating, his breathing, see his thoughts pass her.

She could feel him; and he could feel her.


	13. 30 ABY - 35 ABY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I have come to the conclusion that Reddlens' story will have a total of sixteen chapters, if I am lucky. (Maybe seventeen..?)
> 
> I was also thinking about writing a small chapter for just Seros. 
> 
> But here we go! Into the future!
> 
> Enjoy.

**30 ABY**

They’d been sparring outside the cabin, sabers clashing with bronze sparks once more; but this time, there was no ill intent behind their strikes and blocks. He leaped back from her, disengaging his bled lightsaber with a huff of annoyance. She followed suit, her green and gold disappearing with a twirl of her fingers before she slid them in their sheathes on her lower back.

“Are you okay Seros?” She jogged towards him, her hands taking his free one in their grasp. He was staring at the hilt of his saber, disgust written all over his face. “What’s wrong?” Seros shook his head, pale hair falling in his eyes.

“I don’t want it to be bled any longer.” He seethed a bit, remembering something that she could now see. She saw him pushing through the rocky caves of a planet; saw him stop, his hand held to the wall. He’d pressed his knife-like ear against the stone, listening for something that he couldn’t see. She saw him with his young face all dirtied, clutching a crystal in his hand, one that shown silver.

“It chose you.” She’d mumbled, holding his wrist in her hand, both of them gazing at his sabers hilt.

“It chose me and I made it bleed, I disgraced it.” He glanced up at her, pain obvious in his face. She reached up and pat his cheek softly.

“You can fix that.” A smile was what she gave him then, and she could see his features rise and then fall.

“No, I can’t. I ruined it.” She pulled away from him then, her arms crossed over her chest in defense.

“Seros, I did not study Kyber crystals, in depth, for almost six standard months for you to tell me there is something I could not possibly know about them.” She cracked another smile at him, scrunching her nose. “A bled Kyber can always be purified by its wielder.” He stared at her for a moment before his gaze went back to the saber hilt in his hand.

“I can fix it.” He’d said softly, and she nodded at him, taking his wrist in her hand softly.

“Yes!” She couldn’t stop smiling, her grin wide as she looked up at him. “Come on, lets try to now.” She had begun to pull on him, but he seemed stuck in his spot in the grass. A breath left her as she understood, his emotions filling her mind like gentle waves. Jiji called to them from the porch with D80 then. Calling to them that tea was done and that they should come inside, that it was cold outside.

“Let’s try it,” She paused. “ _After_ tea. Yeah?” Seros smiled at her then, giving her those warm feelings in her stomach. She loved it when he smiled.

“Yeah.”

* * *

**35 ABY**

She had been watching the forest. She’d admired the way starlight came through the grey clouds, making the fresh-after-rain trees seem greener than they actually were. She admired while sitting on the nose of her X-Wing. Her helmet was in her hands when the call came to her again, like a voice on the wind. It sang to her like when she was a child, whispering to her, telling her that she was needed elsewhere. She’d been hearing it for a while now, sensing them on a planet far away.

Her dreams were filled with passed Jedi, the ones who died before her and the ones that died after her. The four that were constants were always talking to her about the universe, telling her things she already knew. She already knew of Ben Solo, of Luke Skywalker resigning himself from the Force on _Ahch-To_. Knew of Princess Leia running the Rebellion again, and of this new signature, one that shown bright gold in her in between. Oh, she knew of Rey.

She was no fool, she knew her place; but she finally had all she wanted. She had her _Kinai_ , her Jiji, she had her Seros. She was happy, and she wanted it to stay like that. The call came at her again, louder and more insistent.

“I can hear you, but I don’t want to.” She growled at the wind. “I have so many reasons why I should just ignore you until you leave me alone.” She was yelling into the forest now, as the voice whipped around her in the air.

“I’ve already had my adventure! You don’t know what I’m risking!” The wind buffeted her face, telling her that there was more for her to do, that she was needed. She opened her mouth to rebuttal.

“Reddlen.” She turned her face, tears slicking down her cheeks at the sound of Seros’s voice. His gold eyes were soft, and his shoulders were lax. “It’s calling you, isn’t it?” She sniffled, her hand coming up to wipe the tracks of water off her face.

“Yes.”

“I know,” He came closer to her X-Wing, his hands rested on its hull when he gazed up at her. “I can feel you get out of bed at night and pace the floor.” She’d woken him. She was always so careful when she slipped out of his arms; always so careful to be silent in the dark of the night.

“You should go.” Her expression must have been funny, because he laughed at her warmly. “It’s never going to leave you alone; the Force knows what it wants my love.” She glanced at the helmet in her hands, her fingers tracing over the Jedi emblem on its side. With a deep breath, she slid off of her ships nose, and into his grasp. Her arms wrapped around him, trying to pull him impossibly closer.

“I love you.” She’d mumbled against him, and he put a hand to the back of her head.

“I know.”

* * *

_Crait._

It just had to be _Crait_.

_Crait._

Ugh, she shivered just thinking about it. She didn’t particularly want to go; to _Crait_ that is. She’d been there once before; within the year she’d followed Luke Skywalker and his gang of misfits into all kinds of imperial hell. They’d asked her to go there, to check on things and see how everything was holding up. It had been a relatively quiet outpost at the time, but she remembers cleaning salt. Cleaning salt out of _everything_. She was cleaning salt flakes out of her X-Wing for years after she left the planet and she was sure there was still some hidden in the cracks. She did not want to go back, but she knew she had to if she was to help them once more. After all, they may need her again; that and the Force wouldn’t have left her alone ever again. So, when she’d made it to the galaxy that held to the salty little planet, she turned on her hailing frequency and hoped that someone friendly would get it.

Her droid, R1-D80, chirped at her as he pulled up the planets radar for her. He showed it on her screen, setting a circle around the rebel base, and marking acceptable places to land.

“Yeah, I see it.” She’d cringed inwardly. “Almost there, let them know we’re close to touch down. Send out another signal for me.”

* * *

R2-D2 squealed loudly _._ Those near were covering their ears against the sheer pitch from the droid. Even C-3PO somehow managed to look mildly displeased at the shorter droid that began to rock side to side in his excitement. It took the golden robot a few long minutes to decipher R2s message. And R2 was asked to repeat himself many times over, his pace never slowing. In the end, C-3PO never did get the full message as the blue and white astromech was speeding off, weaving around people to get to where he knew there were those who would listen to him.

C-3PO was still slow in comparison, but he got there all the same. When he shuffled into the room, R2 had already gotten every one’s attention with his chittering. He had so ungracefully interrupted the small meeting.

“General, we do not mean to interrupt, but,” The golden droid started.

“C-3PO.” Came the ever so carefully chosen voice of General Leia. She stood around the small excuse of a table, surrounded by her trusted peers. “What is it?” She asked, eye flickering to R2-D2, who continued to rattle along the floor. The golden droid had all eyes on him and for once, he didn’t even know where to start talking.

“He’s quiet when we need him to talk, course.” Hans’ arms cross over his chest with a grunt, and the grey-haired Smuggler raised his eyebrows. Even Luke was staring at the two droids with a small bit of interest.

“Again, we very sorry for interrupting, but R2 says he’s receiving a signal from an incoming X-wing.” A very polite tone of voice is used as always as he tried not to sound excited.

“An X-Wing?” Poe Dameron leaned over the table now, a sigh on his lips. “We do have X-wing piolets out right now C-3PO. You know that right?”

“Well yes of course, but this X-Wing is...different” C-3PO turned his face down to glance at his companion. “That is correct, R2?” The astromech rattled again in his agreement.

“All of our X-Wings are dated.” It was Finns turn to talk now, his face matter of fact and nothing more as he motioned towards them with a hand.

“No, you don’t understand,” C-3PO started again, sounding a little bit distraught this time. Yet, he paused, not really sure what to say since even he didn’t even have a proper grasp on the whole message himself.

“It’s okay C-3PO, take your time.” Reys’ voice was soft against the rabble inside the base. And like always, she was a gentle ray of golden light in this dark world. Yet, the figure of Ben Solo stood in silence behind the young woman, causing everything seem a bit more brooding. There was another moment of silence as C-3PO attempted to collect himself.

“This X-Wing, it carries at a certain frequency that only the first star fighters ever made used.” He was staring directly at Luke, and the old Jedi was staring back.

“It’s a first generation.” Luke suddenly spoke quietly and very thoughtfully. Poe grunted and dropped his head.

“Maybe they want to come join us,” The pilot stated matter of factly. “After all, no one we know uses an X-Wing that old.” There was another moment of silence until Luke’s hand slapped the table harshly. Attention turning towards the aging Jedi.

“I’ll be _damned_.” Was what he whispered before he started towards the exit, and the entrance, of the little base. Two followed silently and without question. Leia smiling, as she knew what her brother had caught onto, she must have felt it. And Han, well Han was grinning ear to ear at the mere sound of Luke cursing again. Rey and Ben exchanged glances and some hushed words of agreement before they started out of the room. Poe drummed his fingers on the table for a moment before he groans and followed out of the meeting room with Finn in tow.

* * *

She’d landed the X-Wing without another faltering bump on the ground. And as soon as she disengaged the engine, she took a deep breath and fell back against her seat, groaning. She was on _Crait_ all right. Salt; for as far as the eye could see. Sad salt flats. _Kriff_ this place was depressing.

Unlatching the cockpit, she pushed it open to take in a mouthful of salt laden air. Even with her helmets mask still on, did the air continue to taste perpetually salty. This was going to _suck_. She began to climb out, fingers unlatching her helmet and breathing mask when she stood up in her seat. Dropping the protective gear back in the cockpit, she pushed herself over the edge of the X-Wing.

When her feet hit the ground, the white surface cracked to show the planets true colors underneath. Out of everything on this Force forsaken planet, that was by far her favorite thing, it’s rich coloring. She’d squinted, hand held over the top of her eyes as she tried to knock some of the intense glare down. Well, the base was still there, a few of the specialized speeders for the salt flats laid about as well. She wondered about the crystal fox, the ones that once inhabited the base long ago. D80s’ chirp pulls her out of her thoughts and she gasped at his comment when she was brushing the wrinkles out of her high-necked _qipao_.

“What do you mean that was a shit landing?” She turned around sharply when the droid sang more of her awfulness. “It was perfect and you know it.” She had been pointing at the black and silver astromech burrowed safely in the side of her star fighter.

He chirped again and she glanced back around her in reply.

“A dump?” She snorted a little before adjusting her ponytail, her fingers finding the beads tied into her hair under her right ear. “Of course it’s a dump D80, it’s _Crait_. What were you expecting? A _boudoir_?” She started towards the side of her X-Wing, hands grasping the wing as she pulled herself up a little, her chin resting on the curve of the metal. “Now get out already.”

The droid squealed this time, thoroughly upset at the simple notion of actually getting out of the ship and having to touch the _ground._ She’d rolled her eyes.

“Yes, fine. I will clean the salt out of your treads. Yes D80, I promise.” Another chirp. “Can we go now? Please? It’s hot out here.” Dropping back onto her heels she backed away from her ship and into the barrel of a blaster. They had taken long enough, and again, she was reminded of the incompetent droids of the Clone Wars. She’d knew they were there, attempting to sneak up on her, but her mood still instantly dropped. She turned her head to the side, taking in the two ragtag guards. Then she actually felt a little bad for them, they looked rough.

“You’re slow.” She’d commented.

“Turn around, and let me see your hands.” Slowly turning, she held her hands up at a sarcastic level of compliance. Unfortunately, these two were on her side, and she wouldn’t be able to scare them without regretting it later. She sighed. Behind her, she could hear D80 lowering himself from her X-Wing. The droid squealed with complaints the moment he touched the ground underfoot.

“Shut up D80. It’s just salt.” The astromech chirped in a way that just held sass just before his whistle turned low. “No, you don’t have to taze them. I got this.” The two in front of her exchanged glances for a second before looking back at her, and she’d smiled at them sweetly. D80 sang again.

“No, I’m not doing that.” She turned her attention down to the droid that rolled towards her and stopped himself by her bare feet. There was a quizzical tone to his next whistle. “I am not gonna do _that_ either. You do know we’re here to help them, right?” She asked the droid, D80 returned a sarcastic chirp. He was just like an angsty teenager; she could have sworn his programmer had been a sadistic bastard.

The guards were about to ask her another question when there was a name called, sharp and loud against the barren landscape. The two jumped, and dropped their weapons at the sheer sound of Leias’ voice. She glanced up, a smile on her face as she waved when the Princess had begun her stalk towards her. Her suaveness didn’t last long; as in moments, there were arms around her, hugging and pulling. Strong embraces and soft words were exchanged as she held tight to Leia Organa. The Princess of a dead world soon pulled away, Leias’ hands in hers. When they pressed their foreheads together in greeting, she reached up to hold the Princess’s cheeks before there was another tight hug.

“Princess, Princess.” She laughed against the older looking woman’s hair. “It’s so good to see you.” When she pulled back, Leia looked up at her with that familiar fire in her eyes. Padmés’ eyes.

“Master Zamora.” The Princess stated quietly, hands holding onto her forearms kindly. She’d giggled as her head shook.

Her fingers brushed the wrap around braid of the woman’s hair.

“You’ve changed your hair.” More laughter left her at Leias’ expression, and there was a moment more that was passed between the Princess and her before she offered a hand to the Jedi that came up next to her.

Luke Skywalker took her hands in a very much the same fashion as his sister. His hands were on top when they pressed their foreheads together, but unlike Leia, they stayed like that for a long pass of time. She could feel him in her mind, but she soon cut him off, not wanting to rely on the Force. He seemed shocked when her arms wrapped around him for just a moment.

“Luke.” She’d mumbled before pulling away. She twisted some of his beard in her fingers. “You need a shave.” He chuckled at her then, pure happiness filling her ears when he hugged her again.

Where Leia’s greeting had been soft, and Luke’s pure; Han’s was rough. He never greeted her the proper way a youngster ought to greet their elder, and she had taught him the proper _Kinainan_ way plenty of times, he’d just never done it. After a while, it had simply become part of his charm. So, when he hugged her savagely, she gripped right back at him, their hands beating on each other’s backs. She pulled away, and grabbed either side of his face in her hands.

“How ya doin’ kid?” She asked him, and he laughed at her, throwing her his famous lopsided grin.

“Who you callin’ kid? You look fresh outta the crib still!” She wrinkled her face at the old Smuggler before she hugged him again, this time softer. He spoke quietly as he held the friend who seemed to be frozen in time. “I missed you too, Red.” When they pulled away, she was bombarded by a running Wookie.

“Chewie!” She grasped at the big tall ball of walking hair. He cooed at her as he held her off the ground. “Yeah I missed you, big guy.” She paused, “Can you put me down though?”

They all but drug her into the base, their arms wrapped around her shoulders, hands touching her in some way as they led her to their meeting room. Leia offered her a drink, and Han was giving her a lecture about _everything_. Luke was simply standing close by, glancing at her every now and then with this small smile. It was after she finished her cup of water, that four others were rushed back around the table. The Princess tried to introduce her, but the man with brown hair cut her off by mistake. Leia shot the man a glance, but she let him continue.

“Who the hell are you?” She’d grinned at him then, her hands resting on the table as she leaned over it.

“I’m Reddlen Zamora, a pilot from _Kinai_.” Luke gave her a sudden look, and Leia was staring at her brother with a strange expression. Han had his eyebrows raised. She could feel her junior Jedi bore a hole into her back, and she knew what he wanted her to say. He wanted to know why she hadn’t told them she was a Jedi? She didn’t want to; not yet.

“I didn’t mean to interrupt General, but who is she?” The brown-haired man was skeptical of her still; she liked him. Leia opened her mouth, and Han cut her off this time; the Smuggler receiving a particularly poisonous glare.

“You may not know her, but we do. Relax kid.” Han threw a thumb towards her in a gesture, a grin on his face. Eyebrows of those around the table raised, and she snorted at them.

“I’m sorry,” She began, still laughing to herself. “But who are _you_?” She’d motioned to the brown-haired man and his cross armed friend next to him. Leia spoke up next, giving eyes to the men.

“This is Poe Dameron and Finn.” The Princess began to motion further back towards the gold light and the blue light. “And this is-.” She held her hand up, and the Princess fell silent in understanding. She knew who those two were; she hadn’t needed to be told. She wasn’t ready for them quite yet. Poe and Finn stared at her and her lifted hand for a moment before they glanced over at their General. No one asked, and she grinned once more.

“Poe Dameron,” She started softly, “I am simply here to help. But if you are all uncomfortable with me, then I will leave.” Poe opened his mouth to agree with her, to undoubtedly tell her to leave them alone, but Luke spoke first.

“No.” Eyes fell on her junior behind her, and she straightened her back slowly. “She stays.” He finished with a certain amount of power in his voice, and she felt Force prickled over her skin. She glanced back at him, and he was staring at her with a sureness. What had she gotten herself into? Poe groaned and threw his hands up.

“How do you even know her?” He motioned towards her again. “She’s a kid.” She grinned again, turning her gaze back towards the brown-haired man.

“Apologies, Poe.” She flicked red hair of eyes. “But I’m almost four hundred years old.”


	14. 35 ABY

She glanced at Luke, tea cup in hand and a smirk on her face. They had made it. They had made it to the relative safety of _Ajan Kloss,_ and on the way there, Han Solo had caught her up over the comms. She leaned back in her chair, a sigh on her lips as she drank more of the tea that was actually pretty terrible. Luke leaned over the table, his metal fingers shifting with a question she knew he wanted to ask.

“Your questions, ask them.” She suddenly felt like her Master Yoda as she looked at the son of Anakin Skywalker, her brother in the Force.

“Where did you go?” Luke gazed at her, his fingers playing with the sleeve hem of his robe.

“I went home Luke.” She took another sip of her tea, and it made her face scrunch a bit. She’d forgotten that it was bad.

“You never came back, we thought you died out there.” His expression hardened a little. “I couldn’t sense you anymore.” A smile was what she gave him then, a soft one.

“ _Kinai_ is very far from anywhere Luke, I needed to get away for a while.” She raised an eyebrow at him, knowing exactly what he did. “You understand, don’t you?” Luke tilted his head down a bit, and it was her turn to lean over the table and ask questions.

“What happened Luke? You were doing so well.”

“I don’t know.” He started, and she reached out to pat his hand, seeing Obi-Wan sitting across from her in the library for a moment. “I could just feel the darkness in him, and it scared me.” She knew how that felt. Knew what it was like to see darkness in a young boy and not know what to do about it.

“But he’s back now, isn’t he?” Luke nodded at her, and she smiled at him again.

“Not because of me.” He mumbled. She knew it.

“Because of Rey.” He opened his mouth and she held up her hand, again knowing what he was to say. “Do not even ask me that Luke Skywalker.”

“Please Master Zamora, there are things that I cannot teach her.” She set her tea cup down with a clack, her fingers rubbing her eyes. “You know they will ask how you found us, how you know the things you know.” She was getting tired of it already, feeling the Force of at least three Skywalkers, with another wielder amongst them that was barely aware of her projections.

“They will find out eventually, neither of them are blind Master.”

* * *

She had been telling stories of Anakin Skywalker throughout dinner that evening. There were a few weary eyes on her movements late that night in the mess tent as she regaled them with the tales of the slave, who became a Padawan, and then a Jedi Knight. She told them the stories they ought to have heard, the ones that had been told before.

She didn’t tell them what really happened with the Queen of _Naboo_ , nor did she tell them how his own Master cut him down on _Mustafar_. She didn’t tell them about the Chancellors betrayal, or the time when she had felt Vader’s anger on _Bespin_. She told them the light stories, the ones of Anakin’s winning pod race, and how quickly he excelled to Jedi. She was recounting memories that simply sounded like second hand tales. Luke watched from the corner, a small expression of true peace on his face as he listened. Leia and Han were similar, set together while listening to her tell tales of the man that Anakin had been, not what he became.

She’d paused, moving to the story of his saber when there was a prickle in the air; an extreme show of Force that was familiar, yet all entirely new at the same time as it clawed at her skin. She quieted and turned her face to glance behind her, where Ben Solo stood. She could see his mist, see his pain clouding his mind and dusting the floors. He had gathered so much of his own Force around him that his hair moved slightly. Rey was already out of her chair next to Finn, her movements quick and practiced as she ran towards him with short words. Ben threw Rey a glance, and the girl’s steps faltered with his expression. Her face fell and she stood, hopping off of the table she’d been sitting on. Ben turned his face back to her now, his blue light flickering within.

“Do not speak of my Grandfather as if you knew him.” He was growling and frustrated. Leia and Han had sat up now, Luke already making his way over to her. It was when her junior Jedi put his hand on her shoulder that she waved him off. She was alright, she could handle this. But, she didn’t want to do this here; Ben Solo was still sensitive and fogged. The young man reminded her of Seros, and she suddenly felt herself become determined. Ravaged minds were the hardest to heal.

He started towards her, leaving Rey behind him. She crossed her arms over her chest and Ben’s hair began to blow back as another prickle slid over her arms. His eyes widened at the feel of _her_ Force around him, at the way it incapacitated him. Her chin tilted up as he tried to fight her, to push back, and he began to slide away, his feet trying to dig into the dirt floor as she Forced him back. She could see it then. She could see the string that connected Ben to Rey shudder under her weight. She could feel it in the air, feel their powerful connection. A curse left her and she motioned to Rey. When the golden girl wrapped har arms around his waist, she let him go, having to take a step back.

She may have been old and practiced, but damnit if that boy didn’t have some power to him. Luke put a hand to her back to steady her, and she swallowed harshly as the assembly watched them. She could sense Leia and Hans’ worry, could feel Rey and Bens’ surprise, and Luke’s comfort. Ben stared at her, Rey still wrapped around his oversized frame, but even she was peeking out from behind him.

_Kriff._

“You’re a Jedi.” Ben breathed out, and she huffed out a sigh as Luke whispered to her.

“You did this to yourself Master.” He sounded like he was grinning. He never grinned anymore. She hadn’t seen him grin the whole time she’d been back. _Kriff_ you Luke Skywalker.

“Shut up kid.” She’d hissed at her junior over her shoulder, and she felt his hand disappear from her shoulder blades as she began to lean away from the scene she’d caused. Taking a breath in she sighed and took on Ben Solos’ gaze. “I was. A very long time ago.” She straightened herself, and began her way out, needing air after her stupidity. Ben spoke after her again.

“You _are_ a Jedi.” He was more insistent that time, his voice trailing after her footsteps. She stopped, her fingers flexing with her agitation. She was no Jedi; not anymore. Not after Anakin, not after Vader, not after Seros. She was no longer of the Jedi Order.

“Was.” She’d snapped before she sighed and turned towards him, a sarcastic grin on her face. “Was, is a powerful term Ben Solo.” She winked at him. “As you should know very well.” He recoiled from her and she was back on her path, carrying herself off into the jungle of _Ajan Kloss._

She had been meditating on her hands, her toes pointed towards the dark sky when she felt her approach.

“Princess.” She greeted, opening her eyes to look up at the woman that seemed upside down to her.

“You made quite the impression, Master Zamora.” Leia smiled down at her, lacing her fingers in front of her. It wasn’t like she’d just gotten there anymore; it’d been a little more than a month since they had made it to _Ajan Kloss,_ and most of the resistance even knew her name now, her impression had already been made. She didn’t say anything though, and she didn’t have to, knowing Leia could feel her emotions fill the air since she was projecting so annoyingly loud. “Only a Jedi Master would have been able to stop Ben in his tracks like that.” She dropped back onto her feet, brushing her hands off before she turned towards the woman.

“I’m sorry Princess,” She began with a sigh, her head falling back in aggravation as the woman stepped up beside her. “I didn’t mean to cause a scene like that.” Leia placed a hand on her shoulder, and she lifted her head to look back at the _Alderaan_ Princess.

“There’s no need to be sorry for me. Not for any of us.” The leader of the second rebellion sighed and gazed out over the jungle with soft eyes. “If anything, we need more Jedi. _They_ need more Jedi.” Her gaze turned a bit hard as she turned her face away from Leia.

“Why do they _need_ Jedi at all? Isn’t freedom enough?” She sneered a bit, thinking about how her brothers and sisters were scattered about the galaxies. How there were so few like her left.

“Well, why did you become a Jedi, Master?” Leia glanced up at her, the eyes of the _Naboo_ Queen staring at her. She groaned a bit, hands raking over her hair.

“Because they told me I had to.” And she was speaking from truth. She had become a Jedi simply because Master Yoda and Kelle Aldan had told her that it was for best, and that’s exactly what she did.

“I mean after you grew up a little more, after you became an apprentice. You could have quit if you truly wanted to.” Leia was correct, again. She truly could have left after she was apprenticed to Master Yoda; but she’d stayed. She’d stayed and practiced, and worked to become a Jedi. To one day save people. To save Seros. She became a Jedi for freedom.

“I became a Jedi because it’s what felt right.” She began again, fingers ghosting over Kelle’s Kyber. She felt the Princess’s gaze on her face as she spoke more. “I wanted to be a Jedi because it meant I could help; I could do something for the good.” Leia actually bumped their shoulders together, and she turned her face back towards the woman she took to _Alderaan_ as a baby.

“And here you are, Master Zamora. There may no longer be an Order to follow, but you remain a Jedi of the people.” She smiled a bit at that, looking down at her feet now.

“When did you get so wise Princess?” She’d asked. The woman’s face scrunched and she sighed with a small laugh.

“Somewhere after having a child with a man who is a big child himself.” She snorted, a giggle building up in her throat as she closed her eyes.

“You’re so brutal.”

* * *

She was stretched out on a tree limb, lazily watching Rey and Ben run the course Luke had set up in the jungle for his sister long ago. She’d been surprised to see the Solo boy running it with Rey. After all, his relationship with his uncle wasn’t the best, and she didn’t exactly blame him. Yet, he was there, jumping and dodging, rolling Rey over his back as they worked together. They were a good team she’d noticed. She could see the way their inner lights reacted to the others presence, and their fate was sealed. She soon dropped down next to Luke, who was perched on his boulder. She was leaning over his lotus position as he tried to meditate.

“Master Yodas’ training is kicking their asses huh?” She saw the way Lukes’ lips quirked in her repeat of words.

“I assume so,” He opened his eyes and gazed up at her with a kindness. “But they seem to be getting through it faster and faster every day.” She moved to crouch next to him, the Kyber around her neck warming her skin through her clothing.

“Maybe it’s time to introduce them to handstand meditation?” Luke audibly groaned, and she laughed at him, a smile on her face at the memory of him struggling greatly on _Dagobah_. “Too soon?” She’d asked with a smirk. He sighed at her, his hands resting flat on his knees now. His gaze flickered down at the blue hanging around her neck. She could hear Ben and Rey sprinting through the foliage, but she let him ask anyway.

“You had this when we met.” The two trainees were panting, walking up to them side by side. “Who’s is it? Because I know blue is not your color.” She snorted a bit before she cleared her throat and covered the crystal with her palm and fingers. She’d glanced down at it, feeling it pulse in her grasp. She missed him.

“It belonged,” She didn’t know how to say it. “To an old friend.” And he suddenly understood. Luke’s mouth parted for a moment, and she shook her head, standing back up.

“It’s fine Luke. A long life comes with its obvious draw backs.” She turned towards Rey and Ben, receiving a skeptically respectful expression from Leia’s son. It looks like she’d won him over with her show of strength. She shook her head again at the realization that these Skywalker men were all alike. “Anyway,” She’d started again. “I came to offer my help.” Rey perked up from the plight of hyperventilation, a smile breaking over her face. Ben seemed a bit hesitant, but Luke spoke up before his nephew could.

“Wonderful.” He’d said in that awfully calm voice. “Shall we play a game then?” Her junior Jedi asked with an arched eyebrow, and she glanced back over to him, a smile on her face once more. She could feel Rey and Ben’s confusion, and she relished in it for a moment, only wanting to making it worst.

“You’re not referring to _that_ game, are you?” The game she’d first played with Dooku a very long time ago. The one he taught Qui-Gon; and Qui-Gon taught Obi-Wan. The one she played with Anakin and his Master under the guise of “training”. She’d taught it to Luke on the ship after _Bespin_. The Jedi nodded, and she grinned, hopping off of the boulder and sinking into a stance with an outstretched hand.

“Let’s go then, great Luke Skywalker.”

Her Force swept Ben right off his feet, causing him to land on his back with a grunt. She leaned over the young man, a glimmer of amusement in her eyes as she watched him lay there.

“You’re getting better, you know.” She’d said when he took the hand she offered to him. And he was, he was getting better, not just simply getting lucky. She glanced up, searching for Rey. She found the girl sitting across from Luke, speaking quietly to the man. She paused, a hand coming up to stop Ben before he could move. She watched for a moment more as Rey seemed to be conversing something very important to the man. Something that was not to be taken lightly, something that was not for every one’s ears. She glanced up at Ben with a finger to her lips. “Not yet kiddo.” The look the young man gave her was priceless.

Luke was usually training and mentoring Rey, and since Ben wanted almost nothing to do with the man, she was placed in charge of him. He gave her a lot of shit, challenging her when he got frustrated. But unlike Luke, she was not all about absolute inner peace; so while Luke was assisting Rey in meditation, she was hurling rocks and sticks at Ben. She was making him catch them in his Force orbit, making him hold all of them as she threw more at him. When he’d mastered that, she only amped up the difficulty. She told him to stand on hands, catching the rocks and branches she threw at him. He learned to steady his breathing under stress, and she never raised her voice at him, not until they all sparred together.

She had been standing with Rey, watching Ben and Luke spar. Red clashing with green, but there was something off, and the more she watched, the more she saw that this was no longer a sparring match. Both men were putting their all into it. Ben with his attacks, Luke with his blocks. Rey reached out and grabbed her arm, the girl had noticed as well. She patted Reys’ hand.

“Relax.” Had been all she said, a smile on her face before she stepped in between the uncle and his nephew. Her hands came out, and she flicked her wrist at both of them, throwing them away from one another. When Ben didn’t stop, she pulled her gold from its hiding spot, igniting it with a simple motion as she blocked him. He came again, and she was getting frustrated with his attempts to get around her. She spun her gold from its ring, creating a shield that surprised him as she pushed him back again. She’d yelled at him then, her frustrations finally taking her over when her saber fell back into her palm.

“Rashness will get you _nowhere_ Anakin!” She snarled at Ben, her voice traveling; and when she took in a breath, she stumbled back.

_Kriff._

They all stared at her, and she disengaged her golden saber, hiding it away again. She heard the sound of Ben and Luke following suit. Another breath was dragged into her lungs as she closed her eyes, remembering that battle on _Dantoonie_.

“Master Zamora,” Luke stared, and she cut him off with a raised hand.

“Just, don’t.” She pinched the bridge of her nose with her fingers. “I’ve been around too many Skywalkers this past century.” Her breathing steadied as she mumbled to herself. Lifting her face to the sky, she opened her eyes once more, glancing at Ben.

“My apologies,” A shaky breath left her mouth along with a small laugh. She’d motioned towards Ben. “You just remind me so much of him, when he was a young man that is.” Ben Solo opened his mouth, but closed it before he found the correct words.

“You did know my Grandfather then?” She giggled in a sad manner, remembering Anakin as a boy, then a teenager, and finally a man.

“Yes.” She’d whispered, her hand rubbing her forehead. “I knew him. I knew him well.” Another pause caused her to breathe.

“I think that’s enough for today.”

They were walking back, commotion falling out and around the makeshift base of tents and ships. She could hear the mention of a TIE fighter landing nearby, and a familiar feeling hit her in her chest. And she was suddenly trying to find it, trying to find the ship so she could look at. Her companions tried to follow her as she pushed through the crowd. It was when Finn, and an engineer names Rose found her that she had gotten everything she needed to thank them and continue through the people.

She had her arms crossed over her chest, her head shaking when the other three finally caught up with her. Seros smiled at her in a cheeky manner, as he sat with a few blasters to his back. Luke paused at her shoulder; eyebrows raised at the _Sedkian_. Rey stood at her other shoulder, Ben behind the girl. She had a disappointed laugh when Leia and the others piled into the little tent. They were all asking him questions, and she was still shaking her head. It was when Poe Dameron got frustrated and paced towards the corner that she spoke.

“What the hell are you doing here?” She threw an exasperated look at her Seros. He shrugged at her with a widening grin.

“Same thing you are.” He’d replied easily, and she stepped forward.

“Oh, hell no you’re not.” She was pointing a finger at him. He whistled lowly at her then.

“Two curses in a row, you’re getting better little Red.” Her face fell before she gently smacked his forehead with the back of her hand.

“Oh shut up.” He grinned at her again, a finger coming up to tap her chin softly. She’d smiled then with another headshake. “He’s with me.” She said more to herself than the others in their company. The guards were waved away, and she motioned Seros to stand, her hand in his when she helped him up. Calm sensations swelled through her, taking her earlier erratic emotions away with a simple brush of his skin. Wow, she really loved him.

“What do you _mean_ he’s with you? He came flying in on a _TIE_ fighter for _kriff_ sakes.” She’d glanced at Poe Dameron, enjoying the way Finn was trying to calm him down. Shaking her head once more, she turned to face Poe, a shrug on her shoulders.

"You'll just have to trust me."


	15. 35 ABY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ack, this took me way to long to write.
> 
> Forgive me.

“So that’s what you’ve been whispering with Luke about?” She’d been staring down at both Rey and Ben that afternoon. The two sat cross legged in front of her, expectance flowing off of them and into the air; she could smell it. Her toes dug into the soft ground, and she lulled her head back to gaze at the tents roof; a chuckle on her lips. “A Force bond,” She murmured with a sort of familiarity. “And what did he tell you about this bond?”

“He couldn’t.” Rey answered her shortly. She lifted her head back up to glance at them, her fingers coming up to draw over her own chin.

“He could, he has one after all.” She’d grumbled softly more to herself, but she noticed the way the two were staring at her. They must not have known. Whoops “Luke and Leia have a Force bond.” Her arms had crossed over her chest as she continued to look at the two, seeing the string that connected them, and she wondered if they could see her connection to Seros. Then she thought otherwise by the way they continued to stare at her with their noses scrunched. So maybe it was like _that_?

“Okay, listen to me.” She started gently, knowing what they were thinking. “Force bonds are more common between Force twins. Luke and Leia are Force twins, meaning that they have a bond.” Her hands motioned through the air, as she continued to talk with her eyebrows raised in a moment of amused teaching.

“So,” The word slipped out of her mouth slowly. “We’re sure you’re not related, right?” The way their face had contorted again made her giggle as she happily watched them cringe at the simple thought. She continued to laugh at them for a good while. She laughed until her stomach hurt and she could no longer breathe.

“Okay, okay. I get it. You’re not related.” She inhaled deeply, smiling at them in that knowing way she’d picked up from Master Yoda. “So, it’s like _that_ then?” Rey flushed immediately, her hands moving, but going nowhere productive. Ben on the other hand, lit up like a pink warning light, his body leaning away from the words she’d laid out in front of them.

“L-like what?” Rey got out through her fingers. She’d tilted towards them with a large grin, and she giggled again.

“Then it _is_ like that, huh?” She was just teasing them now, enjoying the way they struggled to stay sitting in one spot. Ben was looking off to the side, his face still a lovely shade of pink as he rubbed his large hands over his pants. Back and forth. Back, and forth. And Rey, well Rey was gazing straight down into her lap, not glancing at anything else. “Okay, look kids; it’s _okay_ to have the feelings you have.” She glanced around her, searching to make sure that the intrepid Luke Skywalker was nowhere to be found.

“No matter what that walking Jedi script says, you understand?” Her hands were motioning in the air again. “A bond like yours is unbreakable and it’s so very rare. Don’t be afraid of it.”

She had been walking through camp, Rey on her heels. The young woman was asking her all kinds of questions, ones she actually had answers to. She was kind of reminded of a young Luke chasing her through the swamp on _Dagobah_.

“What is the thing that thing that causes us to be bound to each other?” Rey was a smart girl, one that would easily excel as a Jedi, but the question had come right as she was about to take a sip of nasty tea. She murmured into her cup:

“It’s the Force, Rey.” She’d replied and it was only another moment until Rey asked her another.

“But, why?” The girl’s question had locked her up for a split second, the tea touching her lips as she tried to think of a proper answer. That was a valid point Rey was making. Why had a bond like this formed? She set her cup down slowly, moving to feel Seros somewhere else in the camp, probably talking with Leia, telling her the trade routes and inner secrets he knew. She could feel his heart beating, and his chest expanding with his breathing when she closed her eyes and actually focused. She felt the way his breathing faltered as she reached out to him; and along the in between, he took her hand in his.

“Master?” Her eyes fluttered.

“I’m sorry.” She sighed softly; her hands wrapped back around the mug as she tilted her head to the side. “I’m not sure why, Rey. I assume that it just happens, it’s weird you know.”

“But you said it was formed between enemies the other day, how is that even possible?” The young woman leaned over the table towards her now, her eyes very _real_ for a moment. She’d shaken her head again. Rey kind of looked like Padmé.

“The Force must connect you two from the moment you are both present in the universe. The bond awakens when one of you reaches out towards the other?” She really wasn’t sure. Rey pulled away; the scavengers gaze suddenly downcast as she watched her fingers pull at each other. Her offer of knowledge made sense, but only in Rey and Ben’s case. It made no sense for her and Seros, and she sighed again.

“Don’t take my word for it Rey, some bonds are on the surface and always present. While others are hidden lower, deep within you.”

* * *

Seros chased her through the trees that night; their feet holding them surprisingly steady as they leaped over branches and leaves alike. His fingers had pulled on the long hem of her _qipao_ then, causing her to glance back at him with a grin and a laugh as they continued to mess around above the jungle ground. They pushed at each other and played the game of Force. But when he trapped her against the trunk of a tree, she wholeheartedly grabbed his face in her hands and brought it to hers.

She was kissing him before long, relishing in his body heat and how solid he felt under her fingers again. They’d been apart for just a few months. Apart, after three standard decades together. Inseparable. She’d missed him infinitely more than she would ever tell him out loud. So instead, she kissed his lips and his skin. She drug her fingers through his hair, teeth nipping at the sharpness of his ears. He breathed into her mouth, his hands sliding under her clothing in an attempt to pull her closer. He knew.

“I missed you.” Seros pressed their foreheads together in a heavy moment of calm, and she breathed him in again.

“I know.”

* * *

Poe Dameron had led a successful attack against the First Order; so the camp partied. Who knows where the music and extra drink came from, and at the time, she didn’t really care all that much. It was just known that the party of ragtag characters needed an excuse to cut loose one night. She felt someone pull on her arm a bit then, and when she turned, Seros smiled at her. He pulled her out into the impromptu dance floor with easy moves. She narrowed her eyes at him when his hands began to arrange her.

 _I thought you didn’t like to dance?_ Eyebrows rose.

He shrugged at her next.

 _But you like it._ The crystal around her neck warmed.

She’d rolled her eyes, her palm locking up with his as they circled around each other. People moved away from them, allowing room for him to pick her up and then set her down into a spin. She slid back, his palms following her before he pulled her back against his chest, his hands sliding along the bottom of her arms like they did that one time in her apartment on _Coruscant_. This time, when his emotions slipped through her, she only added to them, no longer afraid of him. She felt his grin behind her ear. There was her own grin on her face when they finished their dance. He bowed to her, hand outstretched as he offered her his hand once more. He was offering her another dance, and the crowd around them cheered a bit. Another smile.

A smile when she was yanked back into the crowd.

A smile when Luke Skywalker confronted her with furrowed eyebrows and grumbles.

“What are you doing?” He’d hissed at her, and her face fell a bit.

“Well, I _was_ dancing.” She clicked her teeth back at him, and his beard frowned with him.

“Dancing with a Sith.” He chided her. “Dancing. Sith.” His hands made this strange motion. Her face contorted and she growled at her junior, but Luke spoke again before she could. “I remembered his name finally, from before you left. It sounded familiar” Her anger melted a little, kind of impressed that he actually recalled the one singular time she’d mentioned Seros’s name. Not bad, but she still wanted to dance.

“I’m surprised you remembered.” She remarked, arms crossing over her chest with a thick gaze.

“I see the way you look at him Master.” That’d irked her.

“What about it?” She’d said with a bite in her tone now.

“Jedi cannot be in love, let alone be in love a Sith.” Luke would have been correct, if it had been a little more than sixty years ago. Yet, it was not the era of the Order, and she was free of her imposed binds. She was a Jedi of the people, not of the Order. She leaned towards her junior, a narrowed eyed expression obvious on her face.

“You cannot judge him for what he was.” She’d snarled at him in a low manner. “Like you didn’t judge your father, and how you can’t judge your nephew.” He stepped back from her, and she moved forward.

“You have no idea what they are put through over there.”

* * *

They had a sparring match, Rey standing with Luke as she fought Ben. She was going easy on him.

Ben Solo was a heavy-handed fighter; one with good strength and skill. He used all of his abilities adequately, his feet moving in time with hers as she spun around him. She dropped her head back, feeling the heat of his sparking saber haze over her nose in a second’s time. It was when she leaped back from him that she barked her praise. Ben was getting so much better at controlling everything, including himself. She was proud; proud of the Padawan she would have chosen.

Her fingers disengaged her gold, only ever feeling the need to fight all of them with one lightsaber instead of two. She was about to slide it away when she leaned to her right, feeling the ripple of the Force around her as it disrupted her balance. She dodged the flinging of a saber hilt at her head. Holding her hand open, and with a small call, the silvery hilt tied with one of her childhood hair ribbons he’d found in her room, came to land in her palm. Ben was staring. Rey was staring; Luke was scowling like he did nowadays.

“So,” Her thumb slid over the trigger. “We’re throwing just our hilts now are we?” She’d turned her head, glancing over her shoulder at the _Sedkian_ that just stood with a smirk on his dumb and loveable freckled face.

“Didn’t think it was fair to throw the thing at you while it was ignited.” Seros retorted, a bigger, dumber smile growing on his lips. She snorted and spun his lightsaber on her palm, her eyes glancing down at it before back to him.

_As if I couldn’t catch it even if it were shinning._

He shrugged at her with that maddening expression still on his face.

“We are sparring Seros. I doubt you’ll want to join us.” She was about to throw the saber back at him when he spoke again.

“So,” A pause that copied hers from a moment ago. “You don’t want the competition then?” He asked her, and she stiffened. Ben seemed mildly irritated that he wasn’t even considered competition, but the Solo still put his weapon away. She turned on her Seros sharply, her lips curled.

“Competition?” There was a mocking quality to the single word. Her eyebrows raised as his saber spun in her palm again. Gold eyes stared at her, then he nodded, oh so very sure of himself. He was so _irritating_ sometimes. “I beat you almost every time.” There was no way she didn’t love him.

“ _Almost_.” He’d thrown back at her, and it made her skin itch. Her fingers tightened their grip on his lightsabers hilt, a click to her teeth as she stared at him with a growing thirst for his satisfying emotion of defeat. “Are you gonna give it back to me?”

“If I do, you better be ready to use it.”

“Bring it, little Red.” She all but hurled his saber back at him, advancing on him as her own weapons placed themselves in her grasp. She watched as he ignited his lightsaber, the silver laser exposing itself to her, showing her his final calm. They clashed, her having pulled both sabers, showing the twins of different colors.

Seros’s lightsaber flew from his grasp again, it disengaging and landing with a thump on the ground. She kneed the air, Force throwing the _Sedkian_ back and away from her. He stumbled before his legs were swept out from under him. She stood over her Seros, green pointed at his face.

“Competition my ass.” She raised her eyebrows, and he was grinning up at her like an idiot. Her idiot, it seemed.

“Oh please, you know you love to fight me.” Seros spoke up at her as she disengaged both her sabers before she slid them away. She’d offered him her hand, and he took it. When she pulled him up, she lowered her voice at him.

“I like to spar you; I will never fight you again.” She corrected and he’d nudged her with a small grin.

“Yeah, I know.” He squeezed her hand in his own, his eyes heavy and calm. The way everything seemed to settle had her relaxing. The way her heart slowly stopped pounding, and the way she just wanted soak in that he actually stood with her this time. Seros stood with her, a Jedi in his own means. When she did let him go, she turned to see Luke, Ben, and Rey sat on the ground, faces cautiously impressed. She cleared her throat as Seros called his saber back into his grasp. She may had gotten a little carried away with the sparring match.

“Well,” Rey started with that little accent of hers. “That was impressive.” The girl glanced over to her left, to look at Ben, who was sitting with some sort of recognition in his face.

“Yeah…” The Solo trailed off. “And oddly familiar.” She could feel Seros _grin_ behind her. Ben was aware, and the _Sedkian_ loved it.

There were more questions then, a squabble from not three Jedi, but also Leia. Han was thrown in there as well. And again, she was about to take a sip of tea when a question from the table came flying at her before it hit her in the throat.

“Just what in the hell were you thinking?” That stopped everything, and she almost spit up in her cup at the sound of Leia Organa’s question. She could feel Seros off in the camp somewhere, laughing it up over her sudden frazzled feelings.

She coughed. “I’m sorry?” The Princess of _Alderaan_ just set on her with that stare and crossed arms. The table stared. Luke stared, Ben and Rey as well. “Don’t look at me like that.” She pulled back a bit, her Force prickling in defense. Han smirked.

“He showed up in a TIE fighter.” Leia sighed in exasperation. “And that was fine, we’ve had people defect and escape back to us that way.” There was a finger in the air now, and she got the innate sense Leia was trying to mom her. The baby she’d taken to _Alderaan_ was attempting to mom her. How time flies.

“It was strange when you vouched for him, but I trusted you. I knew you wouldn’t let just anyone near us.” Another sigh. “But he’s a…” _An accomplished_ _Sith lord?_ Leia trailed off, fingers to her lips as she glanced at Luke, and then her son before her gaze finally landed on Han. Now she was getting aggravated. What was with them? There had been two in the immediate Skywalker family. How could they possibly judge her on her choices? Her cup was placed back on the table, her palms flattening against the wood in a vain attempt to relax. The table continued to watch her intently.

“I will not ask you to understand.” She glanced up, staring at Leia and Luke. _Even though you do, truly, I know you do understand me._ “I will only ask you to trust my choices. And as I told you before, a long time ago in a galaxy far away:” She stood sharply then, and she leaned over the table, Force prickling over her skin. She knew it made them all uncomfortable by how the twins, Ben and Rey, and even Finn shifted in their seats.

“My _mistake_.” She pushed off the table roughly, her body whipping around with very obvious anger. The tent wavered with her Force. She needed to get away for a while.

* * *

Days passed by slowly, and Seros had soon beckoned to Ben and Rey. Ben was easy, and Rey, well Rey followed Ben and Ben followed Rey. They were easy pickings. It was the others that were going to be difficult. He’d asked the bonded pair where Luke and his sister were hiding; and when they had the Skywalker siblings, they went in search of Finn. They were all thoroughly put out by the _Sedkian_ , well, save for Ben, who somehow seemed thoroughly relieved. Seros had smiled then.

“Alright, since you all seem hell bent on making me another burden instead of an asset;” He got some looks that made him want to cackle, but then he remembered his Reddlen. He rememebred thos nights on _Kinai_ with her pacing the floor, arguing with Jedi that no longer lived. Seros sobered up quickly. “There’s something you need to see.” He was mainly taking at the twins, not really concerned with the other three. He motioned them to the jungle, where he could feel his love’s annoyance growing once more.

“Oh, is this Force related?” Finn had asked quietly. Seros paused, turned and gave him the face of _‘duh’_. “Then I uh, I have no business being here,” He glanced around for a moment. “I’m not Force sensitive.” The ex-Stormtrooper explained, and Seros snorted.

“Yeah, and my hair is black.” His hair was not black. “Now shut up and let’s go.” Finn quieted, and they all stared at the young man for a moment before Seros beckoned them again. That was a conversation for later. Seros lead them into the jungle, beckoning them to hide amongst the trees and listen to a meeting of the Jedi Council.

“I don’t understand what you could possibly want now.” Her voice growled into the dark, an annoyed breathlessness to it as she rubbed her forehead. She was stood in a circle of past Jedi again. Obi-Wan and his Master Qui-Gon behind her and to her right. Anakin was still to her left, and Windu and her Master Yoda stood in front of her. “When do I not get an earful from you all?” Her pointed ears twitched a bit.

Four pale blue spirits stayed silent, but one did not.

“That is no way to talk to-” Now she was really getting pissed.

“I will speak how I want Windu!” She’d snarled at the bald ghost. “I am senior to all of you but one, and he hasn’t even spoken yet!” Deep breath; in, out. “So, yes. I will say whatever the hell I want.”

“You need to calm down Master Zamora.” Obi-Wan’s voice was soft and soothing behind her, but she hadn’t been in the mood to be soothed and clamed by her friend.

“I need to calm down?” She turned on the young-looking Jedi slowly. “You, the council,” Her feet carried her in a slow circle then, and she made a point to take a moment to hold all their gazes one by one. “You are the ones that sent me away before the Death Star; the ones that had me fighting Seros. You’re the ones that came to me when Ben Solo was born instead of his own family! You should have gone to his Mother, his Uncle! I dread going to sleep because you’ll be there to haunt my dreams and tell me there is more for _me_ to do, there’s always more!”

There was silence again, and she was breathing hard after her moment of extreme seething. She’d wanted to say that for a long time now.

“No wonder none of the others know what the _kriff_ is going on, you’re all cooped up in my head.”

“You are our best contact.” Qui-Gon Jinn spoke that time, and she flinched away from him.

“Because I can remember you?” She glanced around again, her nose scrunching. Her eyes landed on Obi-Wan Kenobi for another moment. “You can just as easily go to Luke or Leia.” When she glanced at them that time, they all seemed apprehensive, and she turned to Anakin who now twitched a little bit under all their gazes. Then she got it, and she was seething again.

“They are not _children_ anymore Anakin Skywalker.” She began. “He is not the boy on _Tatooine_ , and she is not the girl on _Alderaan_ anymore. They are adults, and they can handle it.” She was groaning again, her fingers rubbing over her forehead.

“I can’t do this alone. I cannot be your only bridge any longer.” She glanced up and sighed, their gazes on her in a strange manner. “I am not the only Jedi.”

* * *

Something had changed within the twins, within the second dyad. Seros was still approached with care, and he was always clicking his teeth at people, enjoying the expressions that passed him by; but something had certainly changed.

It got really weird when Luke apologized, and when Leia started to come to her and Seros for plan confirmation. It was strange when Rey wanted to train with the two of them together, the girl and Ben practicing forms the two older Force sensitives knew very well. It was just increasing her curiosity when Luke joined them, and suddenly, their training became more intense as they rose to combat the threat that Palpatine posed again.

They broke their classes down into three main parts:

She was in charge of combat manipulation of the Force. They played her favorite game a lot more.

Seros governed the sparring matches with a strangely calm intensity. He’d adjusted and corrected their forms many times with gentle hands and words.

And Luke guided them through long bouts of meditation.

They all ran the course, well, Luke walked it oh so very passively as he took his time through. She was suddenly aware that she had a battle-ready group of Jedi at her fingertips, which had been more than she’d ever had at her disposal before. Leia had talked the whole rebellion through the battle plan more than a couple times after Rey and Ben left in the _Falcon_ to locate the Sith way finder from _Kef Bir._ Seros had wanted to go to the Death Star so badly; she hadn’t let him. Instead, she had him describing the layout and blind spots of the Sith battle cruisers to the X-Wing pilots that would follow them in.

It was after the magic two came back with more renforcements that a question was asked that had her spitting up her tea, once again. They’d been sparring that whole day, and Luke lazily watched from the side as Rey and Ben took on her and Seros. A dual battle. It was an interesting fight, seeing the way their two young opponents had to glance at each other with silent words every now and then.

She’d rolled over Seros’s back, blocking Ben Solo’s down stroke with the heel of her foot against the butt of his lightsabers hilt. She then kicked the young man back, rolling her gold over her knuckles as she stood again, never having pulled her green. The four of them clashed like that for a little while longer, and in the middle of it all, she realized she’d never actually fought _with_ Seros. Only ever against him, and it was amazing to her how well they’d actually moved together as a unit, her vision consisting of half of what she saw and half of what he could see. She moved where he’d needed her to, and he did the same for her. Their backs pressed together for a moment, thickening the string of silent communication between them. They were too quick, too connected, and too seamless. Rey and Ben’s string floated around them. The kids were getting better.

It had been that night that she’d coughed up tea again, after Ben had been talking with Seros about forms they'd learned, and Rey had been idly speaking with her about lightsaber cores. Kelles’ Kyber around her neck was more noticeable to her until Rey asked another question after a long moment of silence. It drew Luke’s attention, which was connected to Leia’s, and Han’s, and pretty much everyone else’s at the table.

“Do you and Seros have a Force bond, Master Zamora?” That was when she choked on lukewarm leaf water, and it was so _quiet_ until Seros began cackling next to her. The _Sedkian_ dropped his fork, attempting to breathe in as she proceeded to internally die next to him. She was going to kill him one day, she could swear. She was definitely going to choke him in his sleep, and he would probably let her, mumbling about how pretty she was as she collapsed his windpipe. Even though he was laughing at her expression, his fingers rested easily on her knee, comfort from just a simple touch. He was with her.

She didn’t have to answer them, because they had to have already known. After all, how could she tell them about the things she knew were not in ancient texts? That, and it was obvious that she looked at Seros the way he looked at her; the same way Ben and Rey looked at each other.

She knew she was in deep shit when Ben Solo was the one that ended up laughing, the sound startling the whole table.


	16. 35 ABY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I hardcore do not want to write an ending. I just want all the bbys back again. I want them happy.
> 
> But, there is no such thing as complete happiness in Star Wars. 
> 
> Almost done?   
> I think?

She’d been sitting on Luke’s meditation rock, legs folded and her head resting in her hands as she stared out into the peaceful dark of the jungle. They were to be departing _Ajan Kloss_ in the morning, traveling in hyperspace behind Ben Solo and the _Falcon_ until they landed on the _Exegol_ surface. She was physically prepared; after all, they had a foolproof plan in place. It was the mental part she needed to control.

“You know,” She began, a bit of agitation flaring up inside of her at the thought of having yet another Council meeting. “The purpose of being dead, is that you’re silent as the grave.” But then she realized there was only one presence standing alongside her and Lukes’ rock.

“Well, I’ll just go then?” Kelle Aldan’s had voice sounded thoroughly amused to her ears. She heard her own intake of breath, and when she turned to him sharply, tears began to well in her eyes as she attempted to look at him properly. She had been crying too much lately.

“Kelle,” She couldn’t breathe, as she was sniffling too heavily now, her chest hiccupping. “I-no.”

“Of course you can stay Kelle.” A laugh left her as she wiped her face with jittering hands, and she just managed to scoot over so he could sit with her atop that boulder. She was still rubbing tears away with the heels of her palms, her hiccupping giggle continuing leave her as she tried not to absolutely ball her eyes out.

“What took you so long?” She’d finally gotten a clear sentence out of her mouth after many failed attempts.

“There’s nowhere you can go that I won’t be with you, Reddlen. I thought we went over that.” There was a goofy smile to him as he motioned to his blue crystal, the one she hadn’t taken off since he gave it to her, and there was a familiar tug at the beads hanging loose in her hair. “You’re my best friend after all.” Kelle trailed off for a moment, his feet swinging a little bit.

“So,” He paused, lips pursed in that way as he glanced over at her with that twenty-four-year-old face she met on _Kinai_. “When am I going to be an uncle?”

She threw him a glare, and he laughed at her.

* * *

She had landed her X-Wing on _Exegol_ a little less than ten minutes ago. Landed close to the _Falcon_ , landed close to Seros’s TIE fighter that had already been on the ground when she’d gotten there. Her bare feet swung over the nose of her ship, her helmet in her hands as she waited for the other three to emerge. Seros was leaned up against the hull of her X-Wing, arms crossed over his chest as they both waited in the uncomfortable feel of the planets air. Her _Sedkian_ had been dressed in dark clothes, his loose white hair had somehow been successfully braided back by Liea’s careful hands.

That had surprised her the evening before; seeing the Princess of _Alderaan_ braid her loves hair back oh so gently. She had just come back from the jungle when she heard them laughing. They had been talking about weaving hair, trading different braiding styles that they both knew of and speaking of new ones that they had yet to learn. She rested her shoulders in the tents entrance, smiling as they soon beckoned her over; and while Leia braided Seros’s hair, the _Sedkian_ braided her garnet ones.

Rey, Ben and Luke emerged.

She walked alongside her fellow Jedi, a small hop in her step. Rey had been leading them, her hands rested on Anakins’ saber. She still needed to ask the girl how she’d gotten ahold of that saber after Vader and Luke on _Bespin,_ she also found it fitting that they were to use an original Skywalker forged lightsaber against Palpatine.

Ben paced to her right, Luke on her left and Seros was behind even her footsteps. She followed directly behind the golden lit girl as they walked between the massive statues that lined the cavern. Her eyebrows rose, not at the cold, damp disgusting feeling; but at an amusing thought, and she spoke it before she could stop herself.

“I knew Sheev was bad, but wow. This is way more than just plain narcissism.” Rey glanced back at her, a scrunch on her face.

“Sheev?” Rey asked. They were all looking at her now, and she realized they had no idea who she was talking about. Seros was already snickering behind her though, knowing exactly what she was thinking, and his giggles told her that he whole heartedly agreed with her.

“That’s Palatine’s first name: Sheev.” Her face fell in slight annoyance next. “He’s from _Naboo_ too, another reason for me to hate that miserable planet.” She’d grumbled to herself. Her head lulled to the side for a moment as she glanced up at the statues with hidden faces.

“What the _kriff_ are you talking about?” Ben spoke up from beside her. She waved her hands in the air dramatically, motioning to the many statues around them as an answer. The young man rolled his eyes, not understanding. Luke was next.

“What are you trying to say, Master?”

“I’m _saying_ , do you think all these statues are of himself?” She points up. “Like he hid on this planet for thirty plus years and had all his minions carve statues of the mighty _Sheev_ _Palaptine_?” They stared at her for a long moment, but she could feel the amusement that accumulated behind her at the mere thought that these were all statues of the wrinkled old man. She was giggling, Seros was laughing, and even Luke was holding back a grin now. Rey and Ben looked lost.

“Ah forget it,” She began, mainly directing her words at the two kids. “You really have no idea who I’m talking about. You will soon, so remind me to tell you a story when we get back.”

Seros didn’t have to hiss at her when they got near, she could feel it in her mind.

_Be careful. He’s dangerous._

She’d stepped into that arena, her eyes glancing around at the stands filled with cloaked figures that were all oddly silent. Sheev was still a showman, she could see.

“You still live?” The shriveled hunk of a human stared down at her with those beady little eyes and a curled-up lip. She looked up, and she had no idea what he was hung on, but it was seemingly a huge mechanical arm that just disturbed her to her core. Whatever it was, it was keeping him alive. Oh, the things she could say to him now. He kind of reminded her of a measly raisin on a stick. Seros cackled _loudly_ in her mind.

“I could say the same thing to you, Sheev.” She retorted, a smile on her face when she stopped walking, placing her hands on her hips. “How did you survive the Death Star anyway? As I’ve been told, _Anakin Skywalker_ chucked you down a very large hole.” He made a noise at her, a creepy grin on his pasty, wrinkled face. She noticed he was ignoring her calling him by his first name.

“You Jedi will never understand the power of the Dark Side.” Sheev crooned at her, and she snorted that time.

“Yeah, that might be true. But as I see it, your most powerful assets had always been Jedi before you, and they return to Jedi after they get sick of you.” He was silent then, another vain smile on his face before she crossed her arms over her chest. She could feel her words getting under is wrinkly skin, time had definitely worn his patience down. How interesting.

“So, it is revenge that you are here for? Revenge for your precious little Order? The one Vader destroyed?” Sheev sounded pleased with himself, like he was slowly pulling her towards him now. She shifted her weight to her other leg. Revenge wasn’t the Jedi way. She hadn’t been taught that, she hadn’t taught that to others, and she certainly wasn’t there for revenge. This wasn’t about just her and the Order anymore, she wasn’t alone anymore.

“I wouldn’t call it revenge for the Order, more like justice for all the lives you snuffed out. Justice for my friends.”

“Friends?” He mocked her, and she’d smiled softly. Yeah, she was there for her friends, her lover. Her beloved _Sedkian_ , the little boy she’d called Ani, and the mountain that was Leia’s son. “Then you will strike me down yourself?” He’d hissed at her, and she rolled her shoulders back as she casually popped the covers off of her lightsabers.

“Me?” She clicked her tongue, her sabers rolling over her knuckles as they ignited. “Nah Sheev, I’m just the distraction.” That was when his eyes widened, and there was so much more weight that dropped down upon him. Weight that wasn’t all hers.

* * *

Time couldn’t have gone any slower for her when the battle began. It couldn’t have gone any slower until her back had finally connected with Seros’s. She had been fighting those awful things ruthlessly, her mind efficiently pacing defensive and advancing movements to her own practiced tempo as they continued to surrounded her. But when her shoulders touched Seros’s, she was drawn out of her cloaked figure induced trance. He drew her back into a sharp reality, her vision becoming half his, and half hers as he rolled her over his back. They fought in harmonized unison again, movements timed and seamless as they kicked out. That was when Luke called to her.

“Master Zamora!” The younger Jedi panted next to her when they fell into step with him. She glanced over at him as she flicked a wrist out at an enemy. “Can you pull that pillar down?” Luke grit out, and she glanced over at the Skywalker again as Seros flicked his wrist this time, and one hood flew into a few others.

“The whole pillar?” She stared at the Skywalker as she kicked another enemy away from her, her body turning so that she was pressed back to back with Seros again. The _Sedkian_ leaned back, and she supported his shoulders with a stance and her own shoulders as he blocked up and kicked off the ground. When he landed in front of her, she was staring at Luke once more.

“Yes.” Luke turned his face towards her. “Can you do it?” Her memories flickered, and she suddenly saw Obi-Wan Kenobi asking her to throw back a whole line of droids on _Dantoonie_. She felt Seros glance at her over his shoulder then, and she knew it wasn’t the time to get sentimental, but she couldn’t help it. Luke was really a potent mixture between his father, and his father’s Master.

“Let’s find out.” She drew away from her _Sedkian_ as she slid under a barrage of hooded figures, her sabers slicing through them with an all too practiced ease. It had then felt like another set of Trials tailored for her when she charged the line, disengaged hilts held back by her thumbs as she held her hands in an outstretched manner towards a half-broken stone pillar. Stilling herself had not easy, but then there was a heavy curl to her fingers, and what felt like a muscle popping in her right shoulder as she brought the whole pillar down on a hoard of the cultist. She fell back, her palms digging into the stone ground as she tried and failed to pull herself back up.

Breathing was difficult, and she saw dark spots as the enemies that charged her were thrown back by a wave of Force that rocked her. There was another powerful blast from Seros, and then there was a green lightsaber that flew over her head. Its color slicing through those that still managed to stand before it was drawn back to who she knew was Luke. The two men suddenly were beside her, and they offered her a hand. She shook her head out as she lifted her wrists into their grasps. When they pulled her to her feet, the spots began clearing from her vision as she rolled her sabers over her knuckles as they ignited again.

“You alright Master?” Luke asked as Seros tossed more enemies away from them, the _Sedkian_ glancing back at her with molten golden eyes.

“Yeah.” She swallowed. “Yeah, I’m good.”

“We have to get to Rey and Ben!” She had yelled through the crowd, Seros fighting to her right, Luke battling to her left. Her eyes could see the two kids struggling, fending off cultists while trying to confront Palpatine. She turned, her gold rolling over her knuckles before she stabbed it down into an enemy Seros had tripped before her wrath; and when she was pulling away, there was a sickening roll to the Force. She could feel bile rise in her throat at the sticky feeling, but a glance at the companions beside her had her noticing that they hadn’t even flinched. Ah, that’s right.

Seros had been a Sith Lord; therefore, he knew what it felt like to wield a Force that was equivalent to an oil slick.

And Luke; well Luke had been touched by Palpatine and his abilities in the distant past.

So, as it seemed, it was just her that swallowed back her evident disgust as they moved towards the kids.

Palpatine was doing something to them, commenting on how the power of two will restore the power of one. The power of the one true Emperor. She- _they_ just weren’t fast enough, and the shriveled raisin of a man had tossed Ben away like a giant ragdoll. More hoods flooded the arena, keeping them away from assisting Rey, and there was nothing more she could do other than fight them. Fight them. She kept fighting.

She was panting as she sliced through more and more dark hoods until she finally came to rest a knee beside Ben. Her gold saber flew from her hand as she threw it with a grunt, it arched around at head height as her fingers came into contact with the dark-haired man’s forehead.

“Ben you have to get up.” He didn’t move, but she could sense his consciousness trying to move his body. So she helped him. “Ben!” She’d yelled at his ear when her gold finally flew back into her palm. He suddenly startled awake, his hands feeling the ground for a saber that wasn’t there. His dark eyes flickered up to her, and Ben looked at her like the terrified child his grandfather had been on _Tatooine_. There was no Darth Maul this time though, and she stared at him.

“Rey?” He’d whispered, and she nodded sharply towards the fray. They needed to go.

“We have to move. _Now_ Ben.” When she stood, she kicked a foot out in a round kick, taking down another assailant as the Solo struggled with his long legs.

She slid under an attack, her head tilting back before she grabbed the back of the hood, throwing it with a Force fueled motion. Exhaustion was beginning to set into her limbs, but she continued to push herself, continued to think of this as all five of her Trials all over again. She continued to think that if she was to call herself a Jedi Master again, then this was her final test. Her neat braid had fallen out long ago, snatched down by a cultist hand. The he beads she’d worn since she was a Padawan smacked at her face along with her curls when she turned and spun. This was her Trial, all of their Trials.

They moved their way towards Ben and Rey, the two managing to fend off a powerful Force lightning attack from the raisin called Sheev. The two had their sabers crossed over them, red and blue, sparking purple. Their shoulders where pressed together, and they continuously leaned forward. They needed to move faster, get to the kids faster.

 _Red._ Seros glanced at her for only a second, and she ducked again, watching as a silver lightsaber cut through the air above her head. Watched as it sliced through another cultist that had come up behind her. When the _Sedkian_ caught his ignited hilt again, she slid towards him as she watched the battle for Luke.

 _We need to get to the kids._ She didn’t have to see Seros to know he was staring at her with those golden eyes, that he’d nodded in agreement. There was a prickle over her arms, and her fingers curled again, yanking Luke Skywalker back from an attack that he wouldn’t have been able to block. The younger Jedi turned to look at her and she made a motion with her thumb towards their struggling companions; and the three of them moved together.

“Be with us.” Rey had whispered when she’d finally been able to place a hand on the girl’s shoulder, the other on Bens back. Seros’s palms settled on both Reys shoulder, and then her lower spine as Luke reached out and touched his nephew as well her scarred up shoulder. The two kids relaxed a little, as the three older Jedi silently said, _“we’re here”_. Palpatine was horrified as the five of them began to stare him down, he glanced at Seros, and then a point behind her as she felt more familiar hands touching her, supporting her while she supported Rey and Ben.

“You?” The raisin man growled at what she knew was the ghost of Anakin Skywalker behind her, and she couldn’t help but smile, knowing Anakin was doing the same. Sheev’s gaze flickered to Seros next. “And you?” There was a malice behind the failed Emperors’ questions as she felt the grin crawl onto Seros’s features. They all pushed forwards sharply with a yell of action from Ben, and she’d ducked her head as an oily Force surged past them, as Sheev finally dissipated from the universe.

They all stood around then, the arena blown to bits from the battle outside and the battle inside. There was dirt smeared on her face, on her arms and clothes, and she watched as her exhausted companions panted around her in a similar fashion. Rey stood close to Ben, her hand gripping his upper arm. She watched as the Solo stared down at the girl with a sense of terror, and then need, and finally, pure joy before he dropped his crackling saber and hugged the golden light to his chest tightly. Ben spun his scavenger around, Rey’s laughter filling the dimly lit arena as she grasped at the dark-haired man’s shoulders, and then his hair. Luke was smiling, his hand wiping sweat away from his eyes and forehead. He glanced over at her, a nod to his head when Seros stepped up beside her.

“So, we finally ripped the rug from under Palpatine’s little feet, huh?” He’d said to her, and she giggled at her _Sedkian_.

“Yeah.” She’d whispered as she slid her hard-won weapons away. Her hands reached up, and she took his chin in her fingers. When she turned his face towards hers, she saw his eyebrows shoot up, but she didn’t have to pull him down too much before he kissed her, and she kissed him. She was happy again as she blatantly showed her affection towards the former Sith.

 _Chandrila_ was a beautiful planet with rolling hills and quiet seas. She had been excited to actually relax, but Ben had been itchy when they finally landed, and she knew that this was the place where the boy was born. She placed a hand on his shoulder, gave him a knowing smile. She then placed Ben’s hand in Rey’s and proceeded to push them down the large ships ramp. She reached back to Seros, his fingers intertwining with hers as she drug him down the metal and onto actual grass.

Leia had been speaking with the officials that had come to greet them upon their arrival to the planet’s surface when she took a deep breath of freedom again.

* * *

She’d been speaking with Luke again, a smile on her face as she elbowed the younger Jedi and drank tea that was actually consumable. Seros sat on her other side, contently listening to the two Jedi rabble on about their Master Yoda and his strange teachings. Rey caught her attention soon, a book clutched in the girls arms as Ben stood at her shoulder, looking a bit sheepish and thoroughly uncomfortable.

“Master Zamora,” The golden light started, and Ben scratched the back of his head in a nervous motion. “Can I ask you something?” Her face scrunched a bit at Rey’s words, but she set her tea to the side and nodded, giving the young woman her undivided attention. Rey let out a breath then, and she glanced back at Ben for support. The two kids shared a moment before the girl finally blurted:

“I want to rebuild the Jedi Order.” Luke choked on his tea this time, Seros chuckled in his rarely nervous way, and she just stared at the two standing in front of her.

“I’m sorry?” She’d said, thinking that she had possibly misheard the girl.

“I-” The golden light paused. “ _We,_ think we should rebuild the Jedi Order.” Rey motioned back to Ben who simply nodded softly in his silent manner. She continued to stare at the two before she took a deep breath in and let it back out. Rebuild the Jedi Order? She seemed to remember a smirking Skywalker ghost grinning at her on _Kinai_ , telling her they didn’t want her to rebuild the Order _yet_. A few slow blinks later, then a glance at Seros and then back at a concerned looking Luke had her sighing once more. She rolled her shoulders back and rubbed her hand over her face. Right, she was the eldest Jedi there. Rey was asking her.

“You do know what rules the Jedi Order held, correct?” She glanced between the two kids, her eyes lingering over the way Ben mindlessly touched Rey. Seros was doing the exact same thing to her, and as he unknowingly swiped his thumb over her knee, she didn’t think she could go back to the old ways. Even she couldn’t go back to the rules of no love and emotionlessness; and if she couldn’t do it the first time around, she wouldn’t do it the second time. The two in front of her certainly could not go through with it.

“Yes.” Rey said with a small amount of uncertainty to her tone, but she began again; this time stronger. “I’m not saying we should rebuild the old Jedi Order; I’m saying we should build _upon_ it, make it our foundation and grow our own.” Her face scrunched at the girl again, and she opened her mouth only to close it, but her question was probably universal.

“No one said we needed to be a part of the Galactic Republic we all know they are going to rebuild, again.” Ben spoke that time, a bit sheepishly, but her gaze flickered up to the dark-haired man. “We can be our own organization.” She knew exactly why he wouldn’t want to be a part of a republic, after all, he was partially responsible for its second destruction, along with _Ilum’s_.

“We can be natural Jedi, fighting for what our Order sees as the right path.” Rey smiled at them in that cute way she had. Seros shrugged next to her, his thumb brushing over her knee cap again.

“Sounds interesting.” He glanced over at her, his gold eyes vibrant as always. “What do you think? Reddlen?” She hesitated for a moment, uncertainty flowing through her veins. So, she asked another question.

“And how do you suppose we set ourselves up then?”

“We go back to _Coruscant_.” Ben stated quickly. She’d raised her eyebrows. _Coruscant?_ “The Jedi temples are still there, the Empire had left them alone.” Rey was nodding, the girls fingers tapping on her books spine.

“We can go back.” The golden girl took a breath in, staring at her. “And since you were trained there, Master Zamora. We were hoping you could direct us, help set things up the way they were when you were a Padawan.” She bit her lip. Like when she was a Padawan? Her fingers pulled at the beads handing behind her right ear. It was a tantalizing idea, but she knew it could never be exactly like that again. There were too many people who were gone from this life.

“The only thing that changes are our rules of play then?” She’d asked in obvious consideration. Ben nodded at her, and she took some time thinking upon it. Leaning forward, she rested her elbows on her knees before she glanced over at Seros. The _Sedkian_ smiled at her sharply then, already knowing what she was to ask of him. “Seros?”

“Oh hell,” He began with a chuckle. “I was never a Jedi anyway.” Her eyes narrowed at him, and he grinned again. “So, I shouldn’t have a say in this, but I’m in if you are.” She took his words in with a careful understanding before she turned to Luke.

“What do you think then, Luke?” The bearded Skywalker hesitated for a moment, his hands flexing before he turned his gaze to her and nodded before looking at Rey and nodding again. She felt her lips quirk and she stood slowly, her arms stretching out behind her.

“Then it seems we have just made our first decision as a new Jedi Order.” She closed her eyes. “We go back to _Coruscant_.” 

* * *

They did take her back to _Coruscant._ Took her back to the city planet, and when the hatch of the _Millennium Falcon_ opened, she practically bounded off of the ship. There were so many emotions overwhelming her at the sense of the planet beneath her feet. It welcomed her back with its orange light, and she sighed at her home of over two hundred years. She was actually _happy_ to be there. And she’d be damned, there was another time she’d actually felt pleased to be there. She soon beckoned them off the ship, her fingers curling in excitement to show them where she grew up, where she lived with her friends, and where she became a Jedi.

She’d led them through the training fields she knew so well. She was telling them stories of sparring matches and games with her peers. Her feet slid over the dirt floor, relishing in the way the fine sand felt against her heels once more as she retraced steps of the poorly prompted battles she’d fought with Kelle. Of games played with a young Dooku, with Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan, and with Anakin.

She took them to dorms were next; and she motioned them to the roof. She’d walked along the edge of the tall building on her hands again, like she’d done as a child. As she held her feet towards the starshine, she could suddenly hear her Master calling to her, telling her come along, that they had missions to complete. When she’d leaned back to stand, Seros wrapped his arms around her shoulders as he commented on how beautiful the view was, and she had laughed at him. The apartments were a little lack luster, but she took them there anyway, finding her rooms the way she’d left them. And then she led them to the Jedi Temple, to the Council room.

Her hand traced over the arch of her Masters seat that sat close to the busted-out window that she’d gazed out of many times. She could feel her Seros and the golden Rey dragging a tired Luke through the Temple. It was soon after she had finished her tour that the three had gone off by themselves, exploring in a fascinated manner. She had been fascinated, but by the dust; and she thought, _had it really been that long ago_?

Ben stood in the middle of the room behind her, watching her movements with those dark eyes of his, and she could sense his questions bubbling. So, as she moved around the back of her Masters chair, she carefully placed both of her hands on the arch of its back and she stared at him.

“Your questions, ask them.” He blinked in surprise at her as she smiled at him in that way her Master Yoda always had. She brushed away some loose strands of hair that had escaped the braid done by Seros’s fingers. The beads strung from behind her right ear hung down from their strands and rested on her scarred shoulder in a manner similar to her Padawan braid had, but it was no little braid any longer.

“Could-” He paused and glanced down at his feet. “Could you tell me about my grandfather?” Ben had asked of her, standing in the same spot Anakin’s boots had so many times. She opened her mouth, thinking that maybe it wasn’t a good idea.

“What would you like to know?” She’d said anyway.

“What was he like, as a young man? Before the…” _Before the fall_ , he wanted to say. That had surprised her, but she smiled at him once more. Her eyes closed as she imagined Anakin grinning that amusing grin at her, the one he always had as he stood beside his Master, his best friend.

“He was moody.” She’d started out with, and she felt Ben grimace. “But he was a wonderful Padawan. He loved to spar, play games, and he absolutely loved to go on missions. He was very talented, and very protective of his friends.” She sensed her tears just before they fell down her cheeks, and when she wiped them, she laughed. Her gaze opened to watch her damp hands.

“I remember this one time, Anakin was getting chewed out by the council, in that very spot.” Her fingers motioned towards Ben, and his feet shifted as he looked down. She slid around the chairs, setting herself in the seat she often chose, the one off to the right. She’d settled into it once more, and she rested her hands in her lap, water still falling from her eyes as she spoke. “He’d been about fourteen at the time, but he was such a rash little thing. He had run into a fight without backup, without his Master mainly. I wasn’t sure whether they were angrier that he had left Obi-Wan, or because he had actually done well, that he had succeeded with the mission all on his own.” She giggled a little bit at the memory.

“I stole him from his Master later that night, and I bought him his favorite crystal candy.” Ben smiled at her then, one of those rare lopsided smiles that looked like a mixture between his fathers and his grandfathers. “He’d scolded me; told me that he wasn’t a child anymore, that I didn’t have to buy him candy to reassure him anymore. He still ate it though.” Her head tilted to the side, and she dropped her gaze to the floor.

“They were all like that, you know?”

“They?” Ben asked her, his voice softening then.

“Yeah,” She started. “Anakin, his Master Obi-Wan, Obi-Wans’ Master Qui-Gon, and Qui-Gons’ Master Dooku. They were all such fun as children, as Padawan's, and then I blinked; and suddenly they were my fellow Jedi.”

“Time is not a kind thing, Master.” He had been standing in front of her then, his large frame towering over her. She laughed at him then, leaning back in her Councils’ chair to look up at the tall young Jedi who had once been called Kylo Ren.

“No kid, it’s not.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks guys! 
> 
> Have a nice day, night, whatever!


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